How do you manage work and family?

Verizon Media
kavsyo

Verizon Media

PRE
Oath
kavsyomore
Apr 15 23 Comments

How do you manage a good balance of performing at work, workout every day, sleep enough hours, and be able to spend time with kids and husband, and still have a social life? If I spend 8-10 hours working, I barely have time for everything else.

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TOP 23 Comments
  • Oracle 6444dd
    let me tell you this. Been married for 26 years. Silicon Valley 25 years both husband and I are hi tech folks (Indians). Successfully raised two boys - one will be graduating from Harvard this June and the other will be entering Duke this Fall. I am a Group PM and my husband Director of Engineering, Both mid level career people. You cannot have it all. Something has to give. I feel I have done a great job with kids, decent job with career and balancing with family. I haven't spent as much quality time with my husband as my non-Indian counterparts. Hopefully I will get to do that, now that the kids are out of the house. Some of the people I graduated from college and grad school have much higher titles and probably TC. But overall I am very proud of my accomplishments, both home and a decent career.
    Apr 151
  • By being single 😎. Try that, it helps a lot.

    Sorry, on a serious note, by maintaining a routine. Like workout on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Hang out with friends on Friday. Go out on a date on Sunday. Spend time with kids everyday.

    I also outsourced my work like mowing the lawn, cooking, and cleaning. It's expensive but helps save time.
    Apr 154
    • Verizon Media
      kavsyo

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Oath
      kavsyomore
      OP
      Thanks :-) Are you married? Do you have kids?
      Apr 15
    • No. But someone I am very close with, almost like family, is married with 2 kids and that's the routine he follows.

      Regarding the outsourcing comment, I outsourced my work few months ago to focus on other priorities. It has worked well for me so far.
      Apr 15
    • Verizon Media
      kavsyo

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Oath
      kavsyomore
      OP
      Okay :-) We are also saving money for kids, so outsourcing house chores are something we do not want to do.
      Apr 15
    • I understand. I really did the bare minimum at work when I focused on other things. I didn't get promoted and I was ok with it. I also knew I didn't do really bad (no missed deadlines, no escalations) so they won't let me go.

      I spent 8 hours at work, nothing more. I had lunch at my desk, so I could work at that time. I reduced my work outs in the evening from 5 to 3 days a week, I met my friends once in 2 weeks for limited time (marginal value that time spent on social connects decreases ie spending 30mins vs an hour will make more difference than spending 2 hours vs 2.5 hours. So I limited my time there).

      But I am not the best person to give you advice on time management with kids :)
      Apr 15
  • Oracle 6444dd
    Not easy. Try to outsource many tasks when you are married and raising kids. Its gotta be very team oriented with your husband.
    Apr 153
    • New keeger
      +1

      If you have the means look for areas to mitigate repeated life duties and stresses (e.g., hiring a maid, yard work, etc.).

      Also - regularly scheduled babysitter for couples time.
      Apr 15
    • Verizon Media
      kavsyo

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Oath
      kavsyomore
      OP
      This is something we both are trying to avoid. We are also saving money for kids, so outsourcing house chores are something we do not want to do. We want our kids to spend time with the family, having babysitter is something I choose not. Anything else we both can do?
      Apr 15
    • Microsoft mdnd
      If you can afford, a house cleaner once a week is an investment in the relationship.
      Apr 15
  • Daimler
    noDoubt

    Daimler

    BIO
    It's not personal. It's just business and I am a businessman man.
    noDoubtmore
    Don't work more than 8 hours a day. Put family first. Get help from friends and family to create more time for other things.
    Apr 150
  • Slack hearts
    Workout every day is overkill. If you look at many non-American cultures, they work out less and seem to be just as healthy or better. Try following a healthy diet and cut out sugar as much as possible. Happiness is key and be aware that you need to prioritize. The illusion that you can have it all is unrealistic for most humans.
    Apr 150
  • General Motors QEmN10
    Prioritize tasks. Family logistics first then work your work schedule around that. Plan ahead and communicate with your spouse. An important observation good companies should support - happy employees who don’t stress out over family life will be more productive in 8 hours then someone doing 10 whose brain is fried all the time. Generally when I mentor young or inexperienced people in this position I find nobody is making them work excess - the stress and schedule is often self induced.
    Apr 150
  • Microsoft oqBf05
    Not well, always something suffers severely.
    Apr 150
  • Uber Stampy
    Poorly
    Apr 150
  • Aetna / Consultantboo πŸ˜’
    Apr 150
  • Intel baobao1
    Outsource non essential tasks like garden, weekly cleaning, etc
    And yes schedule with workouts on 3 days. Emphasize on quality over quantity. You also need time to recover.
    Apr 150
  • Outsource, as others have suggested.
    Speak clearly with spouse about goals and strategies so they know what's required of them.
    Prioritize well.
    Apr 151
    • Verizon Media
      kavsyo

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Oath
      kavsyomore
      OP
      What made you think my husband and I do not speak? He also does his share of work at home. But there are a few things that suffers, either working out or spending time with kids or spending time with my husband.
      Apr 15
  • Target ilhzrh5
    Balance is bullshit. Work life integration is the way.
    May 130
  • Aon Hewitt sfstreets
    I'm surprised this wasn't something you thought about before having kids? I definitely agree with the Outsourcing part that's the only way to go, it will affect your health later on if you try to do everything yourself. Lots of videos /articles on this. Also get kids involved in chores
    Apr 170

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