How has taking maternity affected your career?

Break it up, for your own sanity. Thank me later.

Dad here who manages large team - take it all. In one shot. You’ll only go through this experience once (first kid) so take every benefit and try your best to enjoy every second of it. It will be both the most challenging and rewarding time of your life. Bottom line is if your manager doesn’t respect that you’ll want to find a new team or company anyways. You’ll need flexibility over the first couple years for appointments, sick days, drop offs etc. if your manager can’t understand the benefit of maternity leave he won’t be accommodating of your new boundaries needed as a mom. My wife had similar concerns and her boss ultimately was supportive of not just taking her full leave but 50% ramp back time when we were struggling to adjust with the kid. Take it all.

Not a woman, so yes miss some of the contextual proof of being in your shoes. But let me ask you this: what's your alternative? You're pregnant. Cant change it. Enjoy it and make the most of it. You have legal safety protections esp in CA. Doesnt mean a boss can't be a dick, and agree having a young dude boss with no family is a negative. Even as a dude, I look for bosses that have families so they understand everything related. Makes it easier. That being said you do have to be smart about maternity. Work your ass off up till final day, have a handoff plan for your coverage, prove your value and why you're there and a top performer and that you can't wait to be back. But you deserve to enjoy having a child and the time off, it's literally a key function of life esp as a female. If anyone mistreats you then go to HR. No tech company in 2019 wants any perception issues with females or maternity or diversity etc. Wish you luck and congrats. Get sleep!

When my wife and I had our first kid, she went back to work after a couple of months, but we didn't like the experience our little one was having at daycare, so she made the decision to be a full time mom. (She went through pretty bad post-partum depression the first year, too, so if you find yourself in that situation please talk to someone, get family help, do things for yourself, and know that it sometimes happens and it will pass.) Now, 4 years and another kid later, she's back at the same company, with the same boss, on the same trajectory as before. This won't be the case for everyone, but my advice is absolutely put family first, work will be there when you're ready, but your kids are only babies once.

When I found out I was pregnant I was worried about the same thing. I thought I’d only take 10 weeks, even though my company offered more, because I thought I’d be ready to go back to work and I didn’t want to miss out on anything (I.e. promotions, big changes/announcements, etc.).....but then once I was on maternity leave I extended it for 16 weeks and I’m SO happy I did. We were already through the “new newborn” stage and even though the morning of my first day back I was regretting going back to work, after the first week I was so happy to be back. After I had been back at work for maybe 1-2 months my boss brought up a promotion which recently went into affect- so my concern of going on maternity leave would negatively affect bonuses or promotions, wasn’t reality. I think every woman struggles with that though, wanting to spend time bonding with your baby but not wanting to miss out on career growth.

Take it all (paid) and more (unpaid) if you can! I didn’t take it all when I was on parental leave and that’s my biggest regret. I missed out on some bonding time with my newborn and my family.

Ask yourself why your career matters - I can understand the money, social aspect, and personal challenge, but a good chunk of people seeking “accomplishment” is ego. No one will care, including yourself, about what you did at work at the end of your career. You could disappear from work tomorrow and no one would care a week later. Also, it’s pretty savage that we as a society think it’s a good idea for kids under 1 to spend most of their time with someone other than their parents.

You should take it all and feel confident that you are making the best decision for you, your baby and your family. You shouldn’t worry about this.

With my immediate manager, it was no change. With the other people I worked with: they were major dicks and has been the main reason why I never had a second child.