How many of you let your teammates know when you are going through bad menstrual cramps?

Microsoft huirfu
May 29 36 Comments

I got late in taking my painkiller and wound up in a pool of painful cramps all day. I missed on an important meeting.
I told my team that I am out sick and that's it.
This happens to me every month. Sometimes I am able to manage it well sometime it's just a big fat mess.
I wish I could just tell everyone what I am going through and have them be ok with it.
How's the culture in your team? Do you feel comfortable either talking about it in person are emailing the team about it?
What makes the emailing tricky is that it's going to happen every month and I dunno if ppl would be ok to be on the receiving end of it.

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TOP 36 Comments
  • Salesforce linusklava
    We had a teammate before that just said she was having cramps and is staying home. Happened frequently, monthly I guess. Nobody questioned. I think saying you’re sick is cool too; nobody should question the nature of your health issues in general.
    May 29 0
  • New / Eng
    Fun22Tango

    New Eng

    BIO
    Java Programmer- 15 YOE including Android Mobile Developer - 8 YOE.
    Fun22Tangomore
    What happens if the other gender sends a "sick, OOO" every month, about as regular as every 25 to 30 days?? I mean, gender discrepancies would arise or something?
    May 29 3
    • Google Trump2024
      You can’t wonder things like this - you will get publicly shamed. The thought police SJWs are on it.
      May 29
    • New / Eng
      Fun22Tango

      New Eng

      BIO
      Java Programmer- 15 YOE including Android Mobile Developer - 8 YOE.
      Fun22Tangomore
      But why though??? Every question is a genuine one. What if that's a Chemotherapy schedule and the Employee wouldn't want to discuss it openly with the young Supervisor?
      May 29
    • New / Other KhLd53
      Our society and HR around companies are still so behind when it comes to diversity and inclusion and in that I don’t just mean race and sex orientation. But to be inclusive and to understand diversity is also allowing men and women to be open about what happens to them. If you’re at a place that doesn’t encourage transparency and spreads trust then I can understand why it’s hard to talk about stuff like this. But the fear of sharif something as natural as period is only shameful if you make that to be yourself, because what other people (men) think about it is their problem! I bleed every month, without my control, it hurts a lot, I can’t be a hundred percent productive and people should be able to empathize with that.
      It’s crazy how if we share this with a fellow female they will completely understand, but men would lose their mind to think that there’s blood coming from our private parts and due to that they are actually able to be born.
      May 30
  • Uh no thank you. I’m a woman but I’m not interested in hearing your cramps unless it was mentioned in the bathroom.
    Not a workplace subject matter.
    May 29 10
    • Cisco cbd
      Would you feel the same way if someone had a headache or stomach pain? My point is, we as woman are told our bodies natural monthly cycle is “gross” and we are shamed for discussing it but we should realize it’s normal
      May 30
    • You can realize whatever you want. I think women who complain about menstrual cramp because they forgot to take ibuprofen today is TMI and an annoyance if it effects their productivity at work.
      May 30
    • New / Design KhLd53
      I assume you grew up in a household that made you feel ashamed of what your body does naturally and that’s okay, if you wanna continue living this ideology, but if you shame other women for being open about it, I’m gonna tell you a little secret: you’re sexist !!!
      May 30
    • Feel free to assume. I’m not ashamed of my body or what it does. I just don’t want to hear about bathroom matters outside of the bathroom, regardless of gender.
      Now, not everything is about equality or inequality. Maybe you’re too sensitive about it because you’re ashamed when growing up.
      May 30
    • New / Design KhLd53
      The fact that you categorize this as bathroom topics already shows that this is something of a taboo to talk about with you. If I want to talk about my so called bathroom talks with people outside the bathroom that’s my choice, not yours. The fact that you’re shaming people for wanting to bring this to light and calling it a bathroom topic is so sad to me. If you have no relationship with anyone at your office in which you could share anything but work topics, I feel bad for you.
      A person who’s ashamed feel humiliated to talk or act a certain way. I grew up in a very sexist country in which they told me I couldn’t dress/speak/act a certain way and I don’t want this for my children, much less to my daughters. So I’ll always debate people like you and try to show you guys what kind of impact you’re putting out there.
      I no longer want girls and women to feel like they can’t do or say something because societal rules (basically made by men) tell me that I can’t.
      I’m obviously not gonna change your mind about this and that’s ok. But reflect about how this can affect the generation growing up, this isn’t about being sensitive (typical thing to say from an older generation that has no consideration for others btw), it’s about being and doing whatever you want and not feel ashamed of it. How is it that my period bothers you so much? Reflect on that. Periods are natural and nothing to be ashamed of, does it mean you should go and yell to let everyone know you’re on your period, not necessarily, but I can for sure share this with my team mates regardless of their reaction.
      May 30
    • Did you ask them if they want to hear about your period?
      To me it’s unprofessional to share period stories when others are working. Simple as that.

      People have different perception of personal space and privacy. There’s a time and place for everything, have you thought about maybe your period stories make others uncomfortable because it’s a private mater in their perception?
      May 30
    • New / Design KhLd53
      Is there a need to ask for permission to talk about me, do you ask permission to let someone know you have headache?

      The more you try to make your point, the more oppressed as a woman you sound.
      First shaming woman for sharing what comes natural to them, then calling it a bathroom topic and now saying that I have I ask people if they wanna hear something or not. I hope you change your mind about this one day. Periods aren’t taboo!

      Private and professional? Did you know that we spend more time at work than at our actual home? If you can trust your co-workers or they can’t handle something like this knowing damn well it’s so natural and not at all a problem, I honestly think there should be a change in your cultural aspects of work.

      You go on and live your life shaming woman for wanting to say what they need to say and making them feel ashamed all because you can’t handle a topic. And I’ll continue is my transparent way, bringing more awareness and knowledge to people that are ignorant and all they need is a simple discuss to know more.
      May 30
    • You seem to like the word “shaming” so much. Such a trigger for you.

      I agree I’m on the conservative traditional side. Honestly I’d be happier if my female coworkers could stop over sharing. It’s not about trusting people you spend a lot of time with. It’s about them taking up my time and forcing me to hear useless information.

      I’m not saying you need to ask permission, but it’s inconsiderate because not everyone’s like you. There are folks who are older, or men who only talk about this type of stuff with their wives. You force this onto people around you and if they disagree you’ll tell them a little secret that they’re sexists too I guess.
      May 30
    • New / Design KhLd53
      They are! We all are sexist. Our society is sexist, traditions are sexist, until we decide to not be anymore.

      Shaming is definitely a trigger, and if it isn’t for you then you may not have been living in the real world were women are bashed for wearing a certain way, or speaking up or being themselves. Shame is what follows us. Do you really think that we women decided that periods is a shameful topic? Of course not!

      If the take up your time you go and tell that specific person, but until your wishes have not been addressed you cannot rule what one gets to say or not. That’s oppression!

      And too bad that’s useless information for you! For me and my fellow friends (men, women, non binary) is quite of an interesting topic, not only for teaching purposes of those who don’t know, but learning for those who know but don’t know everything.

      This is my last message to you, I’m tired of trying to shed light into something it’s so imbedded in you (and some other people too).
      This isn’t about being vocal about it or not, it’s about being able to do if you decide to, without being afraid of other people’s reaction, because this is some that happens naturally, and no one should shame, oppress or feel disgusted by it. Have a good night, make sure to tell Juul to stop targeting kids, that shit is f*** up man.
      May 30
    • 👋🏽 keep up the good fight
      May 30
  • Amazon likeeeeeee
    Just say you're sick, why do you need to get any more specific than that
    May 29 2
    • Nvidia bit-coin
      Doctors excuses are required in Europe for sick leave 😭🤷
      May 30
    • New / Other KhLd53
      Because why should I use my sick days on something that I can’t control? Why is it that women don’t get more sick days in that case, so we can use those for periods too. My company has implemented a menstruation police after I openly spoke to them about what it does to me and this sparked a conversation with all women in the company resulting in HR understanding that this is beyond our control and that we can take a day off/remote (depending on how painful it is) every month.
      This mindset of “why would it” is a societal construction that tells us that periods are something to be ashamed of and to be suffered in silent. It’s a new era for women, and to think like that only delays our whole point of gender equality!
      I’m a 100% that if men had periods, it wouldn’t be shameful, and they would get all support.
      If we women can empathize and be understand with each other as well as them, we should expect the same treatment from them
      May 30
  • Cisco cbd
    I miss working with other women and being able to talk about these things. Right now I only work with men so I don’t bring it up
    May 29 3
    • Neurocrine D.Trump
      Working with other women is cool. When I had an all-men team, I felt left out.
      May 29
    • Cisco cbd
      That’s what I have now. It sucks
      May 29
    • New / Other KhLd53
      Honey, a lot of men have daughters and girlfriends and are able to empathize. Do no hesitate to be who you are and tal about whatever you want. Enough with having to act different way with men. We do not serve them. Most men will not mind hearing this at all, but it’s our assumption (giving by our sexist society) that tells us that this is a silent suffering and it’s shameful to share.
      May 30
  • Microsoft tfsUEwWt
    I do and I am male. I also let them know when I have explosive diarrhea so they can treat me accordingly.
    May 29 3
    • New CDPt85
      Do you have explosive diarrhea every month?
      May 30
    • Microsoft tfsUEwWt
      Weekly
      May 30
    • New / Design KhLd53
      Why are you even answering here? You’re not a woman!! What we decide to tell or not it is our choice and if you can’t handle it, the problem of with you and not us.
      Also if you have diarrhea every week you should probably check a doctor and stop eating the shitty food I assume you’re eating.
      Is it so hard for you to empathize about something we have no control of? There’s a reason why women bleed every month, and the fact that you exist is partly because of that. I’m also assuming you are single and have no sisters and daughters because only a lonely sexist man would answer like this. It’s fine to not agree and to think this stupid things you do, but keep it to yourself man. You add to nothing in this besides from showing how men are still so behind when it comes to empathy and understanding.
      May 30
  • LinkedIn worangelo
    I give my manager more details about my medical problems, but my teammates don’t necessarily need to know everything.
    May 29 0
  • Google dino 🦕
    If your cramps are severe enough that they impact your ability to work every month, that's something worth raising with your medical practitioner.

    If you are sharing in search of empathy and compassion from your coworkers, and you work with a team that tends to be open about personal issues, great. If you're sharing because you're feeling guilt about calling in sick, don't. Unless you're already an under-performer, nobody will question your sick days.
    Jun 2 1
    • Microsoft ghjotx
      Thanks for your response. I didnt intend to make this post a feminism issue (although part of it kinda is).
      I really only wanted to focus on the fact that I feel uncomfortable about taking frequent sick days without giving a reason. I worry because I dont know how it must be interpreted. That whether people must be thinking I am abusing sick leave to do something else.
      But the general consensus seems that ppl dont care and dont expect to know the reason behind a sick day .. whether its cramps or chemotherapy.
      Jun 2
  • New / Other KhLd53
    Before I even started at my company, I was honest and wrote them an email explaining that I have chronic pay during that time of the month and asked if I could work from home at least once a month, during the time when the pain is the most severe. Not only did this create a conversation between HR with all women in my company but also they have now started to look into creating a menstruation policy, in which allows women to take a day off/remote (depending on how bad it is). My work is very respectful about this and have no shame in talking about this, like some dude up there saying that he won’t talk about diarrhea (as if his diarrhea came every month, lasted a whole week and makes you truly disable to focus, and even walk in my case). I think that we as women should not be ashamed to talk about this, and I’m not saying it is necessarily to do so, but if you’re restraining yourself because you are afraid of other people’s (men’s) reaction then I’m sorry to tell you but you’re living in a sexist world and letting yourself believe that periods are shameful because of what sexist men have told you as you grew up.
    Don’t get me wrong, you do no need to say anything if you don’t want, but if you tell a female co-worker and feel comfortable with that, then you should feel that with men too. It’s because of dudes like this diarrhea dude above that we women are ashamed of what our body does naturally, not even realizing that this monthly bleeding is what bring these intolerant men to life.
    Never feel ashamed about your body!!! Don’t let anyone restrain you from doing what you exactly wanna do. Let men deal with their intolerant and exclusive ways, they will have women and daughters (well a lot of them) and then they will understand.
    May 30 0
  • Microsoft bvhgyt
    Show no mercy as HR will use your disability to their advantage and you will be the first on the team to go. They will conceal it with a RIF #BadMicrosoft
    May 29 2
    • Salesforce linusklava
      Menstrual cramps are a disability? Have you talked to a woman before?
      May 29
    • Microsoft bvhgyt
      They will take a proactive strike as eventually it could lead to endometriosis. is not commonly thought of as a disability, endometriosis symptoms can severely impact a person's life. If you can no longer work or earn a living because of your endometriosis, you may be eligible to receive Social Security Disability benefits.
      May 29
  • Target hvt654jji
    Don’t mention it to the team. Tell your boss.
    May 29 1
    • New / Other KhLd53
      Mention to whoever you want. What century are you living in? It’s one think to suggest but another to demand. You don’t tell me or any women to don’t do something.
      May 30

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