How many of your in-laws is the maximum you would tolerate hosting for two or three weeks
We recently moved to a new house from a condo, and I have been terrified by my wife's plans to have her family visits to be longer and to include a larger crowd. Her dad would come once a year for 3 weeks and her mom (with other 5 relatives) would come for 2-3 weeks. I feel that is the maximum I can endure. Now she wants another two beds and use two rooms for guests to be able to host (gasp!) 10 or so people at a time for several weeks. (Maybe even more than 3) Is it selfish or unreasonable to be absolutely horrified by this idea? How long would you tolerate such an invasion of your space? Also hosting means taking them out for dinner a few times per week, planning activities with them, driving them around, entertaining them, etc. BTW I get along with them great, but I do value my space. I am an introvert that can be very social. Having guests for so long is mentally taxing for me. Also we don't have a macmansion with 10 bedrooms. It is ~2500sq ft home. We have no kids
Introvert than can be very social?
Yup. That's what my therapist told me. I thought I was extroverted, but the fatigue and need to be alone often are marks of an introvert, or so she says
That's new to me. Anyways, hosting 10 people for more than 3 weeks is insane. I could never do that. Not more than a couple of days.
When you have kids you’ll realize the value that the in-laws bring and will perhaps be more forgiving.
The thought of having my in-laws more is causing me anxiety about having kids.
Depends, some people really value family. You should talk to your wife. If it's only once or twice a year I don't think it's wrong.
We are talking. It is our main source of conflict at the moment. I was just skeptic about my reaction being selfish. I think I have been reasonable for years, but I can not let this get any worse
It is not selfish. Your house is not a hotel
You would value people only after losing them. Realize this as early as possible in your life.
So true, cherish your time with your family. Once they're gone they're gone.
2 in laws, 2 weeks max
2500sq ft for 2 people? Must be fun to clean :) (I know ppl pay for that)
Yeah... I know. FB and tech in general pays too well and we end up buying more than we need. I was mesmerized by the potential tv room I can build ... and I guess my wife was thrilled by her thoughts of turning this into a hotel for her family
What city do you live in?
If you are working and the in-laws are not working during their visit, they should be doing all the cooking and cleaning
Take it easy, you don't need to take them for dinner, maybe once or twice. Buy some food and ask what they want to cook. Explain them about Caltrain and let them visit SF ourselves. Overall delegate.
Yes. If that was an option. My wife says that they are visiting me too and want to spend time with me. I guess if I could get away with that it would be much more bearable. Will consider it for the next time we discuss the issue. Probably soon
Spending time with you != you taking care of their logistics, stay and entertainment ON TOP of an already-demanding, full-time job.
I only do this for the parents.
geez airbnb if 6 people are coming for 3 weeks.
THANK YOU!
Who’s paying?