How to approach a girl at office gym?

Apple oooppp
6d 48 Comments

I really like a girl at our office gym and our workout time overlaps often. I want to approach her but don’t know what would be the best way without making things awkward. Since we both work for the same company and will probably see each other around I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. Can really use some help here.

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TOP 48 Comments
  • Facebook ⭕w⭕
    If you don't want to make a fool out of yourself, don't approach her at a gym. Only caveat is if you guys were in crossfit or some group activity where you could pair up, but otherwise the gym is her "me time" and the last thing on her mind is to deal someone trying to hit on her.
    6d5
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      But the only time I see her is at the gym
      6d
    • Cisco ofclass
      Its time to make efforts to “see her” at other places now
      6d
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      That would be stalking her and I don’t want to come across as a stalker. I at least need to know her name so that I can figure out which team she is on. I have nothing to begin with. It sucks!
      6d
    • Optym OBvX83
      What's wrong with a little bit of stalking, not in a creepy "I will find where you live" kind of way, but more like "I'm curious which floor you work at and whether we have mutual connections that can introduce us"?
      5d
    • Salesforce / Eng
      HQLY00

      SalesforceEng

      PRE
      Modernizing Medicine, TransUnion
      HQLY00more
      Lol imo sounds pretty stalkerish my dude^
      5d
  • Google / Engrelprime
    Has she given you any indication that she wants to be approached?
    6d3
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      Not yet or may be I am bad at reading signs?
      6d
    • Palo Alto Networks !💥
      Definitely just bad at reading signs bro. She totally wants you bro. Next time you're at the gym bro, just rip off your shirt in front of her bro and then flex bro.
      5d
    • Google / Engrelprime
      Most likely she's not interested. Let her do her workout.
      5d
  • Esterline / IT
    alpha7G

    EsterlineIT

    PRE
    F5 Networks, Esterline
    alpha7Gmore
    Don’t just ask her out. Not yet. Next time you are at the gym, say hi to her, casually and don’t try to have a conversation. Skip the next time, and then say hello again after that. Move on with your routine. The next visit after that try to leave the gym at the same time with her so you are not encroaching in her gym time, and try to have a conversation around what she does and team and all that. Maybe ask her where she draws her motivation for coming to the gym from, and how you look for motivation too sometimes. That way u get to know her first before considering if you do really have a chance. Read the signs all along the way. She might not be married but have a boyfriend. Enjoy the whole experience and be ready to let it go if it will not work. If she’s not the one, then you build the experience for someone else.
    All the best.
    6d2
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      This makes so much more sense! Definitely one of the best advice I have gotten from anyone so far. Are you speaking from experience ?
      6d
    • Google / Engrelprime
      I have had guys just happen to leave places the same time as me and just happen to be going in the same direction (until they later turned around). If she already likes you, it's flattering. Otherwise, it's stalker-ish. Definitely not a good idea unless there is already clear signs that she's interested. Talking to her first without asking her out is a good idea though.
      5d
  • Microsoft dGIm11
    My gf’s cousin just got married. Met husband at the gym. He just walked up to her near the treadmill and told her joke after saying hello or whatever.

    Apparently it was real awkward because she didn’t get it, and he tried to explain it. But I guess that opened up conversation
    5d3
    • Google nOfM55
      All these people saying "don't ever do this" need to calm down. You may not like it, but plenty of people do. We live in a society
      5d
    • Salesforce / Eng
      HQLY00

      SalesforceEng

      PRE
      Modernizing Medicine, TransUnion
      HQLY00more
      ^agreed lets make america approach friendly again
      5d
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      I do agree that many people do it. I personally don’t see anything wrong but everyone is allowed to have a different opinion on things. I am always respectful towards women and if they are not interested I back off. Here I just want to be extra careful because it’s our office gym and I don’t want things to get awkward or uncomfortable
      5d
  • Amazon products
    Is she wearing make-up and dressing stylishly? If yes, she is trying to attract attention (whether consciously or not) and it should be fine to approach her
    5d3
    • 🤦🏻‍♀️
      5d
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      I don’t agree with this
      5d
    • Microsoft / Engsunofa🍑
      Also:

      - if she's has a water bottle - that's a sign she's thirsty for a new relationship.

      - if her mouth is open any time during the exercise - that's her trying to tell others how much she wants to attract some men.

      - if she has her keys with her - you're in luck! She's inviting you to her place. Subconsciously of course.
      4d
  • Zillow Group / EngJOnc22
    Imagine the situation from her point of view and play all the variables out before you decide on a plan.
    6d3
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      Which all variables should I be considering ?
      6d
    • Zillow Group / Creativev0idSmith
      Different gender, cultural context, body language, environment state, personal customizations.
      6d
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      The only thing that I checked so far is that she doesn’t have a ring on. So that’s all I know as of now
      6d
  • Facebook bPVY33
    Good luck! I don't really have any advice. But I'd like to suggest that unless she responds in a clearly positive way to your first advance, please back off right away :( women often have to switch gyms or start going at inconvenient hours to avoid people hitting on them and it's not a fun experience.
    6d1
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      That’s a given. I have no intention to harass her if she isn’t interested
      6d
  • Amazon adc963
    Please don't.
    6d0
  • Roku / Eng.leetcode
    Don't. Anywhere else but a gym. Women find this creepy.
    6d3
    • Google / Engrelprime
      Not anywhere else. At her desk is creepier.
      5d
    • Roku / Eng.leetcode
      Okay very valid. No gym or desk. Just don't be creepy about it. There is a time and a place for everything.
      5d
    • Salesforce / Eng
      HQLY00

      SalesforceEng

      PRE
      Modernizing Medicine, TransUnion
      HQLY00more
      I've heard some women want to be asked out at the gym.
      5d
  • Cisco 736285839
    Wow this thread is crazy...

    Poll:

    High TC but have no idea how to work girls or...

    Low TC but can walk in anywhere, anytime, any hotness level with full confidence
    5d2
    • Google / Engrelprime
      Hmm... Weird comment. Maybe you should poll the ladies on what actually matters to us.
      5d
    • Cisco 736285839
      One of my friends broke up with her bf recently that made $2M from ipo because he was an absolute dud

      So yeah there’s that..
      5d
  • Google nOfM55
    Get to know her first before you ask her out. Try to start a conversation, ask for a spot, ask if she minds if you change the music, what team she works on, something.

    If she smiles and is a willing participant in the conversation, get her name and do it again the next time. If she is not, be polite and move on.

    I've found that work gyms are a surprisingly friendly place if one person starts talking, other people gladly join in (not just related to dating pickups). But somebody has to initiate the conversation.

    Don't approach her when she's on the treadmill or has headphones on though.
    6d2
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      Thanks for the advice! I will try to start casual conversations first
      6d
    • Amazon qwertyup
      ^ Yes, just talk with her. From talking you will get to know better based on her response and how receptive she it to talk further or not.
      5d
  • Verizon / EngComTruis3
    Have you even had an eye contact? When I don’t want to be approached/talked at gym, I don’t make eye contact and have headphones on. Eye contact is the best indicator, follow it by a subtle smile or a nod.
    6d1
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      Thanks! I did have eye contact with her few of times but didn’t pay attention to any of the other signs. Will try to notice next time
      6d
  • Cisco 736285839
    Send us a pic we’ll tell you if she’s even worth pursuing
    4d0
  • For gods sake don’t ask her out or even try to have a date-related conversation in the gym. People feel really vulnerable in gyms because they might be sweaty or they might be making weird ass faces while straining or the night be wearing tight/short/etc clothing...

    The only conversation you have with someone at a gym who you’ve never met is “hey, done with that machine?” “Hey, don’t worry about putting that weight away I’ll just use it since your done” etc.

    Is she as strong as or stronger than you? Figure out a non-creepy way to ask her to spot you for a minute. Are you doing free weights? Ask her to hold your iPhone to do a quick video of 2 reps so you can check your form (and don’t try to show off).

    Slowly over multiple visits you’ll get to know each other - or not
    5d3
    • Oh and before the “No, just do it!” people jump on this comment... remember, this isn’t a random person at a random gym that you could never see again.

      This is a coworker. Someone you might not work with at the moment, but who you could find yourself working with in 6 months. Plus she has friends who work with you both. Plus HR if you’re really that bad at talking lol. You don’t want to come off as a jerk, douche, player, whatever with a coworker.
      5d
    • Apple oooppp
      OP
      You have a valid point regarding her being a potential coworker and that’s the exact reason why I am being too cautious and nervous about this situation. I agree with some of the advices people gave in previous comments regarding starting up with a more casual conversation rather than directly asking her out. I never planned on straight up asking her out to coffee/dinner. I am interested in showing her that I think she is cute and that I am interested in knowing her better without making it awkward for both of us.
      4d
    • Microsoft dGIm11
      Personally I think you should just catch her before she hops on a treadmill, or maybe after she gets off. Just say excuse me there, hi, I just wanted to let you know you’re totally cute, and wanted to ask if you’d be interested in grabbing a coffee with me one of these days.

      Women like compliments, they like attention, and they want men to pursue them.

      If she reacts poorly, whatever. It’s her loss man, and you’re better without her. She did you a favor, and now you can move on to another girl who is normal and not ridden with toxic feminist bs.

      Life is short, don’t spend it pining or locked in anxiety
      4d
  • Google / Biz Dev
    britfamy

    GoogleBiz Dev

    PRE
    500 Startups
    britfamymore
    Spill coffee 👊🏻👊🏽👊🏿
    4d0
  • Nvidia buck25
    Just don't and you won't have to worry about it
    5d0
  • Apple / EngkGUv48
    Just ask her out. Be extremely polite and respectful so that you don’t bother her or make her feel uncomfortable
    6d0

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