How to ask a girl out on a dating app?

Facebook bl@ckmamba
Jun 12 48 Comments

I get lots of matches on dating apps but can’t get a lot of girls to actually meet in person. I understand that actually meeting is a much bigger investment than texting so how do you guys get a girl you met on a dating app to go out with you?
(Responses from women are especially welcome)

No trolling.

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 48 Comments
  • VMware SweetPease
    Stop wasting your time talking to them in the app. First message exchange should be something like let’s have a coffee on Thursday
    Jun 12 3
    • VMware bond-007
      This guy is a player.
      Jun 12
    • Amazon undertaker
      You just assumed he is a player.. He never told that girls actually say yes or just unmatched him
      Jun 14
    • VMware SweetPease
      You don’t need me to tell my experience. If you’ve been successful yourself, you would learn this is the only way to meet sufficient numbers of people to actually find your match. Going on 2-3 coffee dates per week with new people, saving the weekend for a real date with the winner of the time, is great. I am now married with kids to one of the hundreds of almost random people that I met after saying let’s have coffee.
      Jun 15
  • Intel JECi48
    Tip: don't refer to her as a "girl"
    Jun 12 2
    • Honeywell wellHoney
      Yes. You don’t know how she identifies. Call her ‘unidentified gender looking young’ or UGLY for short
      Jun 12
    • Google singl4ever
      🔥🔥🔥
      Jun 18
  • Amazon look4job
    Show your Porsche key and ask her out..
    Jun 12 1
    • New / Strategy
      Porsche996

      New Strategy

      PRE
      Tesla Motors, BMW, Robert Bosch
      Porsche996more
      Oh!
      Jun 12
  • Salesforce wtffff tho
    First message: your TC
    Jun 12 2
    • Facebook bl@ckmamba
      OP
      Get back to work
      Jun 12
    • New litasf
      with Leetcode stats.
      Jun 12
  • Amazon / Eng frogman47
    “You seem nice we should meet. Something simple like coffee or drinks.”

    They’ll either seem open or closed to the idea. If open proceed to lock down a time and place.

    “Great! How about [day] at [time] at [bar/cafe]?”

    If they say yes or give you another more appropriate time (sometimes you have to suggest 2-3 times). You’re good to move forward.

    At this point I like to exchange numbers and text back and forth a bit. The further out the date the more you’ll have to text because remember, you’re a stranger.

    There’s a good chance she’ll come up with an excuse last minute. Don’t argue with her, you’re a stranger. Instead give her the benefit of the doubt and try to reschedule like you did on the dating app.

    Eventually you’ll meet someone. Your success rate should be greater than 0% if you’re doing it right. Don’t have overblown expectations.

    What you do next depends entirely what you want out of meeting a woman. You’ll notice there’s multiple stages were a woman has the chance to not move forward. It’s up to you how much time you spend but sometimes people just like to talk on dating apps and not meet the same way people like to flirt IRL and not pursue a relationship.

    I tend to not waste a lot of time talking to someone with no interest in meeting me in person. Best of luck.
    Jun 12 0
  • Salesforce ieotucmajg
    It's pretty normal to get matches and not have it end with a date. I wouldn't read too much into it. Have confidence that you're a cool guy who's fun to hang out with, and you'll exude that attitude through your correspondences.

    But in the end there's still a law of numbers thing going on, where a large portion of matches will fall off at that step. So don't get too disheartened
    Jun 12 0
  • Facebook anewday
    Start with discussing what she likes and based on what she likes ask her to maybe meet at a public, safe and casual place. Movie, coffee shop in a mall? Paint Nite

    On your question of when, I personally wouldn’t meet someone until maybe a week or 2 into chat. And if you are not chatting for like an hour a day your chances are slim.
    Jun 14 4
    • Amazon citaoff
      That’s funny because most people say you should ask out within 10 messages
      Jun 14
    • Facebook anewday
      Depends on people’s personality. I am a female and these are my preferences. I wouldn’t be comfortable meeting someone I know through a dating site within 10 minutes.
      Jun 14
    • Amazon citaoff
      10 messages could be a couple of days
      Jun 14
    • VMware SweetPease
      If it takes 2 weeks of 1-2 hours a day of chatting to be comfortable to meet for coffee, that relationship is already doomed.
      Jun 16
  • Facebook dodant
    It’s funny — I was thinking rather why guys take so much time to actually suggest to meet up. Sometimes they just talk for a week and don’t bring up to meet up, so I lost interest and stop responding. Some guys just ask pretty early in the conversation (almost after how are you, when did you move here, etc) to grab coffee if I’m free, whom I all said yes to.
    Jun 12 1
    • EA ☕️
      Yup guys tend to drag the conversation way too long. Just ask already! Fear of rejection? They’ll get over it
      Jun 12
  • ServiceNow fGrq30
    Which dating app do u use? Why do not u ask me out? 😉
    Jun 12 11
    • ServiceNow fGrq30
      Not too worry! have plenty of options
      Jun 14
    • PayPal theniceguy
      Service Now, I’m sure there are plenty but here’s a nice guy. Hey 👋
      Jun 14
    • Amazon undertaker
      Nice guy is a guy who gets friendzoned...better change your name :D
      Jun 15
    • Amazon undertaker
      Update: i and serviceNow has started dating...now everyone should stop sliding into her DMs
      Jun 15
    • PayPal theniceguy
      Undertaker, I specialize in breaking the friend zones. 😎
      Jun 15
  • Collective Health AsdP01
    Skip the app. There are a lot of fun events in the city during the weekends. Perfect place to meet in person a make a much better impression.
    Jun 12 3
    • Amazon citaoff
      Such as???

      (I don’t live in Seattle or SFBA btw)
      Jun 12
    • Collective Health AsdP01
      What’s the closest metropolitan city to you? I won’t suggest hanging out at your local dive bar or Applebee’s in the suburbs. And if you aren’t in a city, I would think about what the tradeoffs are for moving to one.
      Jun 12
    • Amazon citaoff
      Boston
      Jun 12
  • Datto, Inc. Klokov_v2
    1) Ask her if she’d like to join you in something she likes to do.
    2) Use seeing a new movie, trying a new restaurant,checking out some cool ethnic food store, as a way to ask her out on a date.
    3) Just ask her if she’d like to get coffee with you.

    Best to do it when the conversation is flowing well, cause she has a good impression of you so far, and is enjoying the conversation with you.
    Jun 12 2
    • Facebook bl@ckmamba
      OP
      I tried doing these things and that’s when they start ghosting me which leads me to believe I haven’t built enough comfort yet to ask her out. My real question is at what point do I ask her out directly?
      Jun 12
    • Amazon undertaker
      Once she replies to your "dtf" message
      Jun 14
  • New / IT Captainjak
    Just Ask.
    If it is a match on dating app means you both liked each other. Create a trust on you with your texting skills and be a funny & jovial person, girls always love to spend time with persons who is friendly.
    All you need to do is just Ask away.
    Wishing you luck. Dude
    Jun 12 2
    • Facebook bl@ckmamba
      OP
      The question is at what point do I ask her? If I ask her out immediately after matching she ghosts me.
      Jun 12
    • EA ☕️
      After 6 messages. Go for the kill. If you drag it too long they’ll lose interest
      Jun 12
  • LinkedIn CR7!
    Is Blind really the place to ask this question?
    Jun 12 1
    • Collective Health AsdP01
      He’s getting plenty of responses so why not
      Jun 12
  • Intel babubhatt
    Soon. You message for a day or two, and then you ask her out for drinks, coffee, or something else quick and public. Pick a day and time.
    Biggest mistake is messaging for too long - no one’s looking for a pen pal.
    Jun 12 1
    • New / Retail gMhA50
      🙋🏾‍♀️
      Jun 13
  • Google gliz
    She is getting 100 messages a day from 100 guys and does not have time to respond to you. She doesn’t even know you are trying.
    Jun 12 0