I am a manager. I sometimes feel very sorry for going too harsh on my direct reports. A few months ago I made a mistake. I impulsively rated my two team members as a low performer. There is no way I can fix this. Now I feel very sorry for my decision. It was my fault for declaring an unrealistic deadline without discussing with my team members who are owners of their respective projects. While there were newer issues every time that they try to fix. The only way I could save myself from bad rating was to prove my team folks did not work enough on their projects, which automatically makes them a low performer. I would have worked with them but I had no technical knowledge of those projects. While I try my best to work on my impulsivity and anger issues, I also realized I am kind of impulsive and short-tempered during my PMS. But sometimes I have my own difficulties. And honestly, I cannot show myself weak or wrong. I also run women in network campaign. I am working hard to set a good example of a female leader in tech. Now I see myself being more impulsive and angry during PMS. I did see a doctor but it is a normal symptom. I am asking for help from female managers how do you deal with this situation while you sit in the office all day and work with the team. Edit: If your comment is not helping, I am going to ignore it.
Either this is a troll post or you're horribly unfit for a manager role.
Learn and grow, that’s all any of us can do. Accept you made a mistake, evaluate how to not make it next time. You are now a better manager than you were before.
Also, don’t use PMS as an excuse for your decisions, men have hormonal impulses they have to overcome too. Focus on how you react to times you are feeling more emotional.
Thanks for your inputs.
Troll
Not everyone should be a manager. Why did you get into management? If it was for the money, the status, or the authority you probably shouldn’t be a manager. It sounds like you lead with authority. The best managers lead with empathy, supporting their team, and a spirit of helpfulness and mentorship. You should be a facilitator not “the boss“. Trying reading some professional leadership books like Radical Candor by Kim Scott. If these don’t help consider being an IC or PM.
There are very few female leaders in the world. At least I am trying to go high up in the management. Thanks for the book suggestion. Though I don't get time to read.
Each time you raise a voice or become angry, order a pizza or beer or something else for the team from your out of pocket. From your out of pocket is critical here.
I think it is a bad idea. I don't do team outing either. Mostly because we have lots of work, conferences, and my own women in network campaign.
“My own women in network campaign”
I worked with a great female leader once, and I remember walking into her office and seeing sticky notes decorated all around to remind herself how to become a better leader. You can always tell yourself you'll do this or that in your head, but a small visual reminder will go along way.
Thanks but I don't want to do the sticky notes. People will make fun of me. I have never seen anyone doing that.
So you’d rather needlessly ruin careers instead of use sticky note?
Lol great troll. If it’s not a troll, then god help you and your reports
“I am working hard to portray myself as a female leader.”
Set defined expectations ahead of time so you can't just arbitrarily rate performance.
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So hard being a women in tech industry
You fit right in. Took your personal issues out on your employees. Your mistakes probably cost them their jobs. You should leave or change roles. P.S. “also run women in network campaign” gives you away.
+1 do you enjoy managing or do you see it as a career move. Maybe you’re a stellar ic but as a manager you ruin people’s lifes
I love managing. And I want to be an example of one of the youngest female leaders.