So there is a guy in my extended team who bullies almost everyone, even the slightest disagreement will result in him throwing tantrums and disrespecting people. How do i deal with someone like him? It has really started to affect me to the point that i wanna quit my job. Already spoke to my manager about him, he agreed with me but didn’t actually do anything.
- Pull him aside and tell him something nice about himself and something you appreciate.
Then let him know that if his attitude doesn’t change soon, you’ll be making it real public with the higher ups and HR.
If he doesn’t apologize at this point then tell him/her you’ll have no choice but to whoop his ass and blame him for starting it and call it self defense.
Also, if you can... if you’re ready... provoke him enough to start something. All you need is for him to touch you to justify breaking his nose. If he shoves you, you then you can go so far as to knock him unconscious. If he actually hits you then feel free to hospitalize him. It’s all about not exceeding what a jury would deem “reasonable necessary force”.
- It’s best to finish things as fast as possible in a work environment. Brawls just breed fear and make you seem violent but a well planned and quickly executed “self defense maneuver “ will usually render some respect, a lot of satisfactory change, and very little need to discipline you.
So take into account the size of the person you are fighting. Smaller than you, you need to make sure you exaggerate whatever they did to make you feel “threatened”. Larger than you and you need to use their weight and height against them so it doesn’t just look like you executed him. Basically take him the ground if he’s bigger and beat his face from your knees. Smaller than you, maybe keep a large distance so as to appear like you aren’t trying to fight but just defending yourself.
In reality, you need to aim at joints, small bones, and soft tissue like nose, eyes, ears, etc. make them feel it immediately and escalate as fast as you can. By keeping them disoriented you can use their flailing as a case that they “wouldn’t surrender and seemed to be fighting back”.
Good luck, remember to keep your composure. The cleaner you look after the fight, the less need to discipline you. ;) they just assume the sloppy bloody asshole started everything and fire him. :)
- Just realized you work at apple. If they do try to discipline you Just tell people he called you a queer, which is a hate crime if your gay (claim you’re gay), and started threatening your life. You’ll be off the hook and have all the pity the company could muster. Hell, they might even give you some PTO to deal with the traumatic situation and apologize on his behalf. Lol
- Knock his fucking block off. Most straightforward and lasting way to deal with bullies.
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- Apple NonSenseiDocument all instances and show it to your manager and tell him you need action. If not, go to HR.
- Microsoft / EngdeadpanTalking to your manager is a reasonable first step. Since nothing is going to come of that, have the same talk with the bully's manager. Inform him of this behavior and ask of there's anything you can do to help. Document that conversation, plus a few instances of bullying (including names of witnesses) and take that all to HR.
Also, consider phrases like these, and look directly at the bully as you say them loudy and clearly...
That behavior was not acceptable.
Do you really expect this company to tolerate that kind of behavior?
They probably won't change anything but at least he won't be able to claim he didn't know he has a problem. And there is a small (very small) chance that being called out will get him to think about the consequences of his behavior, and do something about it before something gets done to him.
Mostly though, document and report to HR and his manager.
If you think there is a chance that he could become violent, tell HR that you will call the police if he does. That might help them realize that this is serious. But if he doesn't seem violent, don't bring this up. You don't want to be perceived as exaggerating the problem.