Career

How to deal with a bully at work?

Apple MattyD
Dec 3

So there is a guy in my extended team who bullies almost everyone, even the slightest disagreement will result in him throwing tantrums and disrespecting people. How do i deal with someone like him? It has really started to affect me to the point that i wanna quit my job. Already spoke to my manager about him, he agreed with me but didn’t actually do anything.

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  • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
    Punch him in the dick and bang his GF
    Dec 37
    • Deloitte / Legal
      nohomobro

      DeloitteLegal

      PRE
      Deloitte
      nohomobromore
      Piss in his cereal to establish dominance.
      Dec 3
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      And bang his girlfriend.
      Dec 3
    • Nutanix saneep
      And bang his ex too
      Dec 3
    • Intel UGeJ58
      Have lunch at the office with his ex. Invite him to join in
      Dec 3
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      👆🤣🤣🤣 best response!
      Dec 3
    • Deloitte / Consultant
      weirdflex

      DeloitteConsultant

      PRE
      Deloitte
      weirdflexmore
      Why not just bang him too while you’re at it?
      Dec 3
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      Dec 3
  • Document. Every instance. You'll need it when you go to HR.
    Dec 30
  • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
    👆Passive aggressive techies. Be a man and talk to him.
    Dec 34
    • New / EngRhpJ71
      How is this handled at Citibank? Bankers are bigger bros/bullies than techies.
      Dec 3
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      Swing by my office in LIC and I’ll show you.
      Dec 3
    • New / EngRhpJ71
      I see. So it's street fight out there?
      Dec 3
    • Deloitte / Consultant
      weirdflex

      DeloitteConsultant

      PRE
      Deloitte
      weirdflexmore
      Wear a condom boys
      Dec 3
  • Capital One AggieDev
    Pull him aside and tell him something nice about himself and something you appreciate.

    Then let him know that if his attitude doesn’t change soon, you’ll be making it real public with the higher ups and HR.

    If he doesn’t apologize at this point then tell him/her you’ll have no choice but to whoop his ass and blame him for starting it and call it self defense.

    Also, if you can... if you’re ready... provoke him enough to start something. All you need is for him to touch you to justify breaking his nose. If he shoves you, you then you can go so far as to knock him unconscious. If he actually hits you then feel free to hospitalize him. It’s all about not exceeding what a jury would deem “reasonable necessary force”.
    Dec 33
    • Microsoft cout<<
      Savage
      Dec 3
    • Capital One AggieDev
      It’s best to finish things as fast as possible in a work environment. Brawls just breed fear and make you seem violent but a well planned and quickly executed “self defense maneuver “ will usually render some respect, a lot of satisfactory change, and very little need to discipline you.

      So take into account the size of the person you are fighting. Smaller than you, you need to make sure you exaggerate whatever they did to make you feel “threatened”. Larger than you and you need to use their weight and height against them so it doesn’t just look like you executed him. Basically take him the ground if he’s bigger and beat his face from your knees. Smaller than you, maybe keep a large distance so as to appear like you aren’t trying to fight but just defending yourself.

      In reality, you need to aim at joints, small bones, and soft tissue like nose, eyes, ears, etc. make them feel it immediately and escalate as fast as you can. By keeping them disoriented you can use their flailing as a case that they “wouldn’t surrender and seemed to be fighting back”.

      Good luck, remember to keep your composure. The cleaner you look after the fight, the less need to discipline you. ;) they just assume the sloppy bloody asshole started everything and fire him. :)
      Dec 3
    • Capital One AggieDev
      Just realized you work at apple. If they do try to discipline you Just tell people he called you a queer, which is a hate crime if your gay (claim you’re gay), and started threatening your life. You’ll be off the hook and have all the pity the company could muster. Hell, they might even give you some PTO to deal with the traumatic situation and apologize on his behalf. Lol
      Dec 3
  • SurveyMonkey / EngBlindmky
    Tell him to kiss your piss
    Dec 31
    • Wayfair addA30
      Kisssss my pisssssss. Kisssss my pisssssss.
      Dec 4
  • Indeed WEpr27
    I was in the same situation and it effected my health and career, go to HR.
    Dec 30
  • Deloitte / Legal
    nohomobro

    DeloitteLegal

    PRE
    Deloitte
    nohomobromore
    Knock his fucking block off. Most straightforward and lasting way to deal with bullies.
    Dec 31
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      There you go. Way to say it with authority. Better than your previous response
      Dec 3
  • Microsoft cout<<
    Firing someone can take a bit of time and documentation. Your manager may be working on it and unable to tell you. Continue to document any incident.
    Dec 30
  • CoreLogic ☝🏿
    Talk to their mother. I mean Manager.
    Dec 30
  • PeerStreet / Other
    MJ72ha13

    PeerStreetOther

    PRE
    Amazon
    MJ72ha13more
    Bullying is nature’s way of sussing out the weaker genes in a gene pool.

    This is good for you Op, you shouldn’t breed if you can’t handle a bully at work.
    Dec 60
  • Wish Lllopse
    You document EVERYTHING and escalate from there
    Dec 30
  • Facebook TioViejo
    Bate, agitate, and publicly humiliate. That's how you get rid of bullies, push them until they do something legitimately crazy that nobody will tolerate, then publish broadly.
    Dec 30
  • Salesforce / Other
    Sassy_

    SalesforceOther

    PRE
    Salesforce
    Sassy_more
    Document. Call the person out in public. Turn document over to legal advisor. HR doesn't care, will pay you off with bullies' team's bonus
    Dec 30
  • Apple / Opscrumbersum
    If your manager isn’t doing anything, escalate to HR. That’s what they’re there for.
    Dec 30
  • Adobe Nvmbr
    Document it and if you can’t work it out with them, then talk to your manager.
    Dec 30
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      Thanks mom!!!!
      Dec 3
    • Intel UGeJ58
      Do you imagine a theatrical audience surrounding you for this conversation? Interrupting a meeting for this will look petty no matter what
      Dec 3
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      Fuck come on dad!!!!
      Dec 3
  • Apple NonSensei
    Document all instances and show it to your manager and tell him you need action. If not, go to HR.
    Dec 31
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      And make sure you stomp your feet furiously
      Dec 3
  • Microsoft / Engdeadpan
    Talking to your manager is a reasonable first step. Since nothing is going to come of that, have the same talk with the bully's manager. Inform him of this behavior and ask of there's anything you can do to help. Document that conversation, plus a few instances of bullying (including names of witnesses) and take that all to HR.

    Also, consider phrases like these, and look directly at the bully as you say them loudy and clearly...

    That behavior was not acceptable.

    Do you really expect this company to tolerate that kind of behavior?

    They probably won't change anything but at least he won't be able to claim he didn't know he has a problem. And there is a small (very small) chance that being called out will get him to think about the consequences of his behavior, and do something about it before something gets done to him.

    Mostly though, document and report to HR and his manager.

    If you think there is a chance that he could become violent, tell HR that you will call the police if he does. That might help them realize that this is serious. But if he doesn't seem violent, don't bring this up. You don't want to be perceived as exaggerating the problem.
    Dec 40
  • Splunk / Eng
    daveric

    SplunkEng

    BIO
    Engineering
    davericmore
    Does this person have a medical or psychological condition that warrants a classification as disability?
    Dec 30
  • Cisco XWXC85
    1. Lay a trap - easier said than done , but possible.
    2. Discuss and get agreement from colleagues that he is a bully.
    3. Ask other folks to complain to manager and HR.
    4. Record any meeting where you think he is going to bully.
    Dec 30
  • Microsoft YwWb48
    Imagine he speaks in a high pitch whiney voice and then start to pity him as a human.
    Dec 30
  • Adobe Nvmbr
    If you manager won’t do anything then find a new job and document it with HR anyway because it’s a potential lawsuit later.
    Dec 30
  • Microsoft / Product@zzz
    Write a letter to Melania. Anti bullying is her only charter. Ofcourse she can start at home, but then she might lose the money and golden toilets. Going after some engineer might be her thing.
    Dec 30
  • Apple Kim cook
    What org?
    Dec 30

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