I have noticed a lot of Asian men who grew up outside of the United States have little problem finding a girlfriend and getting married. But a disturbingly large number of Asian men who grew up in the US are getting into their mid thirties struggling to find a girlfriend. I’m one of them. Advice from men other races often don’t apply to us that well. So Asian men who have successfully convinced a girl to be with them, please share your stories. How did you meet her and how did you manage to start a relationship with her? I would tremendously appreciate your help.
TC: 550k own a 1.5m home
- Dolby MoreTacomoreThere’s a lot of White guys who like to date Asian guys if you wanted to experiment!
- Indian here. Find dates easily. Start investing in self. Things worked for me, Getting fit n ripped, Dressing up, focus on investments, traveling the world, reading, cooking and latest shows on Netflix. Try to stay away from porn and Facebook. Follow suggested and in no time you be desired personality. Race has nothing to do ...... I dint grew up here, dated most of the ethnicities of which white was the majority ... it’s just that they give better BJs :-)
- This, but let me add spend money on professionals for things you might be deficient at. Get a personal trainer, work with a personal stylist on your clothes/look. Get your teeth fixed if they need it. Finally, go on a lot of first dates from Tinder or whatever until you’re really comfortable and confident in that situation, incl turning down and being turned down. Get pro photos taken if you’re not getting the matches you want. I met my wife in person before I even finished all the things on this list.
- For dressing well, just wear some chinos and a nice fitting shirt and some shoes like this:
Try Navy or black chinos and a shirt where the color compliments your skin tone. Not sure about yours, but I am Indian and I wear dark green or maroon. Make sure the shirt shows a vtaper and also workout. Dressing well doesn't mean jack shit if you aren't fit IMO. After that wear a vincero watch
Do all that shit and you're already above 90% of the guys in SF.
Also get some hobbies outside of tech. Lifting is a good one, and maybe throw in one more random one idk, gotta find something you like.
- Intuit Nulla511Your race has nothing to do with it. Women like funny, engaging, interesting men... who listen, pay attention, and are interested in them without being a douchebag.
- None of those qualities are idealistic. Both men and women need to try to achieve them else we all are living not to our potential.
Note : not asking folks to be ripped but be healthy and active. OP thinks he is getting rejected due to his race and that is not the case. Now does race play role ? Yes of-course and will always but if one is a catch there be plenty of non racist men n women to be dated. I am an equal opportunity lover so it’s hard for me to understand racial bias but there is and will remain but it is not to a level where one needs to lower his /her standards or worry.
- Cisco ChandrikaAsian women only care about the cheddar. With your TC you shouldn’t have a problem, in fact, instead of looking for one girlfriend just start hitting massage parlors. Costs the same and you don’t have to deal with the drama.
- Facebook QgLd56I’m an Asian woman, and care a whole lot more about kindness, smarts, humor, and values than I do about money. If a dude ever introduced himself with TC I would immediately write him off as a misogynistic twat and block him forever.
A bit of earnest advice from a woman: stop thinking that high TC makes you a better or more interesting person. Try developing a genuine interest in women as human beings instead of as objects to be acquired.Nov 264
- New gazm40As a girl who is dating an (East) Asian American, I’d say attitude: decisive, confident, ambitious, independent, positive. Someone who has his shit together (without me) and isn’t afraid of calling me out of my shit.
I found my boyfriend on tinder and we’ve been together for 3 years. His profile has no description. Instead, he had pictures of himself traveling; to Machu Picchu, Paris, Tokyo, Napa, working out, eating. I noticed that he dressed appropriately in every single picture; gym clothes at the gym, pea coat in Paris, polo in Napa etc. I travel a lot and love well traveled people so I swiped him right. He messaged first asking me about something that was on my profile. We talked a lot before our first date which was 3 weeks later. On our date, I found out that he is opinionated, well spoken, well mannered. He likes to work out, he dresses well. He also keeps up with news.
I think the reason why it works out so well is because he is multi dimensional. As in, we can talk about anything; working out, movies, news, career, cars, life struggles, relationships, politics (even though we don’t agree), religion (even though I’m atheist and he is catholic), technology, dreams, goals, traveling, fashion, .. etc.
Don’t let people tell you that the reason you are having issues meeting women is because you are Asian or anything! That’s Hollywood bullshit!!
Work on yourself. Men and women aren’t that different. People who invest in themselves are seen as attractive!
What have you been doing to meet women?
- Reddit r/amaThere is a lot of content like ‘the game’ and YouTube videos that discuss this. I recommend reading/watching this. I also recommend reading books on body language. Finally invest in yourself: go to the gym, buy new clothes, get a good haircut, go to the dentist, get cool new glasses, upgrade your apt and keep it clean. I used to have terrible luck finding women, which had to do with low confidence and terrible game. I approached it like any important project. First learn about it from people that were successful, change things about myself, and put myself out in the field and expect failures and success. Eventually I was very successful, to the point people started asking me for advice. The best pieces are: be your best version of yourself, not just yourself. Learn how to pass compliance tests that all women will subject you to during a date. Never agree to being or becoming just friends, if she wants to be friends cut her loose on the spot. Confidence is extremely important, put yourself in situations where you are confident and build off that.
- Google / EngDoogleI’m married now but was earning little, pretty short, and plenty of dates + gfs as an Asian. I think attitude is a lot of it.
- Google / EngruminatemoreI would think your high TC would make you a catch.
But data supports your anecdotal feelings. Asian men and black women have the toughest time:
- Uber uber.Your first mistake in reading your question is you used the word “convince”, you can’t convince a girl to be with you. Like a tech interview she decides within the first 10-15 seconds of meeting you if she’ll sleep with you or not and that decision is 90% based on your height. If she sleeps with you then it’s really your decision to make her your gf or not. If you need to convince her it’s already over. The reason American East Asians have trouble getting women is compared to average Americans they’re short. Back home they’re average. Height is what attracts women, being in good shape seals the deal, having a high TC will make their mom happy if they marry you.
- HCL / OtherjstwrkhereYou, my friend might be struggling with women. Even in your bedroom, she might still not know if she wanna sleep with you(never heard girls are fickle?). The height thing must be the most hilarious excuse I heard from Americans guys. Girls would like their man to be a little taller than them, but she’ll date you if she likes even if you’re shorter than her.
- New SuckerborgTC please? Don’t think you should have trouble finding girls unless you making peanuts or super ugly/short.
- Amazon Dfg16578Please build some muscle. If you’re not tall, but you lift, it will improve your attractiveness a lot. If you’re tall, then please lift anyway.
Regarding all the PUA/Game stuff, some of it’s good because confidence is nice. But many women are aware of the tactics and can spot them. So be careful with that.