How to handle being touched at work
How do I tell my boss to not touch me so it doesn't come off wrong as a B* or "HR issue" (as in I'm a "trouble" employee and should not be kept around)? {Sorry in advance for the long post} Here's a little background: I'm a consultant & we've been on a very tight deadline driven project for a whilw now so we have a lot of meetings. We are very aligned on the project but we also do get into civilized discussions too so you can say we work closely but we don't actually get physically close. We DO NOT talk about anything outside of this project; nothing personal or even other projects within the company. We never ask "how was your weekend; hope you had a good weekend; what did you over the weekend; have a great weekend" or anything that is NOT this project only related. Recently (in the past 2 months or so), he's been pulled into other projects so we haven't been working on this project, but if he sees me (especially if there are other people around) he touches my shoulder (in a very harmless way as if you were to do with a friend to say how you're doing) but it makes me so uncomfortable and everyone always gives me a look as if I'm screwing the boss to get ahead. I've pulled away every time but it still feels sooooooo uncomfortable & idk what to do. Side note: the looks started when he hired a new consultant & this guy has been trying to get hired as a FTE and started a rumor that my boss & I are "doing the deeds". He even once asked me: so how long did it take you to be this close with him & do whatever you want. I've staying away from both. Even when we have meetings I run out as quickly as possible and try to have least possible interaction with him. PLEASE ADVISE. Please be respectful and don't just say quit or GTFO and look for another job. Thank you.
The problem is the consultant and not the boss.
This.
Yes I know but I can't tell him fire the guy (as much i want to 😂) My boss isn't a smoker but since he joined they've been going out smoking together and go out at lunch (never invite me) & hang out over the weekend so I don't think he'll fire him EVER!!! 😂
TC or ....?
Mine:🥜 65k no OT The other one: 🍌🍌🍌 104k+OT+DT (which most of the time he's out smoking but still submits DT)
65k? Demand at least 65k or tell him you’re going to scream rape
Write a shorter story
Just say hey boss nothing against you but I have this odd thing where I don't like being touched and id really prefer if you stop touching me. Then every time he grabs your shoulder move it off and remind him and if it continues go to HR.
I wouldn't go to HR I'll just GTFO 😂 but that's great advice. Thank you!
good for u, hope it works out for u. the reason I worded it this way is because some people are really touchy (and some people really hate being touched). I'm one of those that doesn't like being touched so I've had to give this speel before and it usually works.
How? In what way? Do exactly what? & to whom? The boss or the liar?
This (Cisco) sounds like a troll post to me and should probably be reported. I think the advice given elsewhere to take the boss aside for a moment and mention that sometimes he touches your shoulder in conversation and it makes you uncomfortable when people touch you should suffice.
Make up a back story and play the role of the victim so that the boss wouldn’t dare to put you in anything like that . Acknowledge you know it’s a weird request, stroke the ego play the role
Tell the boss about the consultant, get that kick guy kicked to the curb as he's toxic. Also let him know not to touch you in the future as it's not your thing.
He just went over his 2 bosses' head to the main Boss Man and created a role for this a*hole with a base salary of $148k. Although my boss told me that he cried to him (& I mean real tears and the whole waterworks which I know is all fake but he's good at that) and said to him: I need a job..can you get me a job here. My boss isn't a smoker but since he joined they've been going out smoking together and go out at lunch (never invite me) & hang out over the weekend so I don't think he'll fire him EVER!!! 😂
Just be honest with him. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If he continues to touch you after you told him bring it up to hr or your manager.
Apple training (as I remember): 1. Non accusatory observation: I notice when we see each other, you’ve tapped me on the shoulder. 2. I statement: it’s been making me a little uncomfortable, especially because we got some funny looks from coworkers. 3. Resolution: maybe we should be mindful about looking too familiar.
Let him know it makes you uncomfortable. I’d say it just like that.