How to not appear like I'm hitting on men...?
I'm a woman founder. Mid twenties, relatively attractive, in NYC, in an exclusive relationship already and not looking. Obviously in tech this means a lot of meetings with single men to pitch my company/find partnerships. There's this one guy at an innovation center whose environment would be very helpful for my startup. We get along, his sense of humor is great. But I'm worried I'm being TOO friendly and coming across as hitting on him/he's hitting on me. I want the camaraderie but also maintaining professionalism / stopping him from misunderstanding. Women founders, how have you approached this situation..?
Yeah problem is a lot of guys are dumb and if you even look at them they think you are “totally into them”
What do I do? It's not like I can just ignore the 98% of men in tech
This is probably a problem in the sex starved bay area. I would believe this would be much lesser of a problem in NYC. From your post, has “the guy” in question ever talked to you or given hints? If he hasn’t then maybe you are overthinking? If he has maybe tone down the friendliness a bit? Being a woman founder dont you have access to professionals to help deal with this?
Make up a bf
I have a bf. Should I just start talking about him?
Ask your bf to call you when you’re in meeting with him and do the normal gf talk 😂
It's a tricky situation. I don't agree with the above post that men are dumb. Most of the men view attractive women as prize and when the prize is itself being nice to you, it will be very hard to not develop any feelings. Why not just use a bit of healthy flirting to develop your network? Attractive men do it too with average looking women. We all have to play some sort of psychological tricks in addition to hard work to move up the ladder.
While that's true, spurned people can also be very risky. I'm trying to let the guy down gently without risking the professional relationship.
I think you will have to use your judgment here. If the guy is coming at you too strong or starting to say inappropriate stuff, would you want to do business with him anyways?
Yes. Talk him up. Plans about doing stuff. Won’t take a few messages to show you got your guy
Here's what I do, even as a guy, when not with personal friends: Stick to work talk. Don't laugh at any jokes that cross any blurry line. Try to appear a bit evasive if anyone asks about personal relationships. Don't react to what sounds like someone hitting on you. Don't "get together for drinks" with people who you don't want to hangout with, or if forced by work, don't drink or have a courtesy drink that you don't have to finish. Stay professional and the guys will know to keep their distance.
If it helps, going into meetings with a neutral partner/associate might help keep things professional. It’s a hard one to tackle, but throw around aspects of how happy you are with your current guy if you think you get hints of him trying to make a move.
Sounds great. Will set up more groups meeting vs 1-1
It’s just unfortunate that it has to come to this in this day and age and is something I definitely take granted as a guy when I have to meet with others. Hang in there and lean on your support system. All the best with your startup!
Casually bring up your boyfriend in conversations. I would take the hint.
Not always. If they think she's talking to them despite of her bf, theh may think she must really like them and is not happy with her bf. If a man is being inappropriate with a woman at work, most probably he won't care if she has a husband or bf.
It's a hard line between "I like you as a person and you're cool" vs "I want to date you." As a woman it's hard to communicate the difference.
Somewhere in conversation, casually mention something about your bf.
I'm friendly. I think I'll just invite people to weekend lunches with my boyfriend, etc. Then stick to professional.
Good tricky that one. Promote your bf to partner in conversations!
Yes Blind is filled with Women founders.
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