How to not feel retarded?

Lyft honeybadg
Dec 21, 2017 81 Comments

I feel retarded for doing 5 years of grad school, instead of getting a job with 100k plus salary and the raises I'd have gotten.
I feel retarded for not buying crypto, even just $20 or whatever.
I feel retarded for moving in with my girlfriend prematurely and having the relationship turn into this weird roommate / intertwined living situation.
I feel retarded for sitting on cash instead of investing in stocks, or real estate.

I can't fucking ever make up for this fuck up.
It's all I can think of and it's consuming me and fucking my sleep and daily focus.

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TOP 81 Comments
  • Facebook / Eng RikSanchez
    Jezus my brain is fucked up I thought this was Amazon's "my IQ too low" guy again lol
    Dec 21, 2017 13
    • Amazon fICL14
      Thanks man. Appreciate the kindness considering I'm just asking about how to get into prestigious companies. If you read my comments you'd realize I never said Amazon people are dumber.

      Btw, if you're so angry at me, you should direct some of that anger to HillDawg. I used to argue with him nonstop about how Amazon is prestigious and he convinced me it wasn't. He took a semester off NC State to work here and joined but still called it the worst place to work. And it got to me.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Gen!x / Eng
      XPbr65

      Gen!x Eng

      PRE
      Bank of America Merrill Lynch, HPE, Northrop Grumman
      BIO
      mehy
      XPbr65more
      This (trainwreck) dude is (one of the reasons) why I’m on Blind.

      It’s Andy Kaufman-esque level performance art!

      Bravo!
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Amazon fICL14
      That's an incredibly rude thing to say. What's your problem?
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Gen!x / Eng
      XPbr65

      Gen!x Eng

      PRE
      Bank of America Merrill Lynch, HPE, Northrop Grumman
      BIO
      mehy
      XPbr65more
      You.

      But you’re also the solution to that particular problem. So...

      Bollocks to you “non-prestigious-low-IQ-man” (your words)
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Amazon fICL14
      Alright bud, you seem like a great guy, deliberately antagonizing someone for asking simple questions. You must be fun to be around. Enjoy life!
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Intel / Eng Litecoin
    Ehhh life could be worse — you could be polishing iPhone screens 14 hours a day for 3$, or shitting in the streets of New Delhi — don’t sweat it.
    Dec 21, 2017 0
  • AT&T / Ops
    DDM2K

    AT&T Ops

    PRE
    Windstream
    DDM2Kmore
    You know we can’t have a thread without someone asking “are you Indian?” 😂
    Dec 21, 2017 5
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      Sorry again. Mixed white middle eastern. But I'm also short. That doesn't make me feel retarded though
      Dec 21, 2017
    • AT&T / Ops
      DDM2K

      AT&T Ops

      PRE
      Windstream
      DDM2Kmore
      It wasn’t relevant to the question rather I was just making an observation how that question always gets asked by someone.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Oracle ksnrjd8r
      You are doing it wrong. When that question got asked, it was rhetorical b/c the poster already gave it away.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • AT&T / Ops
      DDM2K

      AT&T Ops

      PRE
      Windstream
      DDM2Kmore
      Reason number #17 why I’m not a comedian
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Oracle ksnrjd8r
      Awareness is step 1. Keep at it grasshopper.
      Dec 21, 2017
  • AT&T / Ops
    DDM2K

    AT&T Ops

    PRE
    Windstream
    DDM2Kmore
    It just sounds like you keep making the “safe bets” when you could very well be taking calculated risks and use your acquired knowledge to mitigate the “dumb risk”.

    Don’t put up more than you’re prepared to lose. And don’t gamble with your rent money.

    Prepare yourself to interview for the job you want. Learn what questions they ask and whether they are mostly technical or behavioral. Tons of interview advice can be found on here. Just start a thread.
    Dec 21, 2017 8
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      Curious to what are the requirements to be baller on that level
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Snapchat nF3aZ
      Do you actually want to be super rich or do you feel behind everyone else? And is this more of a new realization after graduation?

      Starting to work and earn at 29 instead of 23 is completely fine. The last 5 years have been a pretty great economy in tech, but you can’t change any of those decisions. Honestly in a few years you will probably feel completely fine, you don’t have to compare yourself to younger people and feel inadequate. If this was 2011 and you were going to go into finance in 2006, you would’ve been a genius.

      Unless you want to retire by 45 or something, starting 5 years later on a healthy salary will not hurt your retirement at all
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      It bothers me that I'm financially dependent on my job. It distracts me from contributing my best, when I know it will be effective (Maybe just 2 hrs a day is all there is in me some days) to having to deal with a 9 to 5 job. I feel every day at a 9/5 kills part of my brain / soul / passion.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Docker / R&D
      SQL_Inject

      Docker R&D

      PRE
      Google, Facebook
      SQL_Injectmore
      Financial dependence / independence goes both ways. That’s not the problem, its some other void that you need to identify in therapy or on an LSD trip.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • AT&T / Ops
      DDM2K

      AT&T Ops

      PRE
      Windstream
      DDM2Kmore
      OP just might want the same purchasing power as everyone else here.

      Or he wants that rent payment not to make him physically sick when it comes out of his checking account, maybe he’s got a car payment or student loan.

      You do feel more empowered when you have more disposable income.
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Gen!x / Eng
    XPbr65

    Gen!x Eng

    PRE
    Bank of America Merrill Lynch, HPE, Northrop Grumman
    BIO
    mehy
    XPbr65more
    Embrace the void

    You’ve missed out on so much. You will never be able to recover. You were so close to retiring. But now you won’t. For several decades.

    Absorb that. Dwell on it.

    Kubhler Ross the moment.

    And when you get to “acceptance” you will realize you have a pulse and that means you have infinite possibilities ahead.

    Or take a short-cut by doing some peyote.
    Dec 21, 2017 1
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      This is the best thing I've read on blind
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Lyft LadyDev
    I have a serious question...did you sniff glue as a child?
    Dec 21, 2017 1
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      No but I have a penchant for sniffing dry erase markers as an adult. Not excessively though
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Amazon / Eng Lllllcccdf
    Going to grad school is kind of retarded if you are a US citizen. Not buying index funds is very retarded if you have excess cash.

    Moving in with your GF is not retarded. Sorry it didn’t work out.

    Not buying crypto was smart, you didn’t have any reason to believe it was gonna explode like this.
    Dec 21, 2017 10
    • Amazon / Eng Lllllcccdf
      Sorry... to clarify... if you want to be a software engineer in a tech company, going to grad school isn’t going to help you. I stand by that statement.

      Of course there are legit reasons to go to grad school, writing taxi software isn’t one of them.

      Jfc
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Gen!x / Eng
      XPbr65

      Gen!x Eng

      PRE
      Bank of America Merrill Lynch, HPE, Northrop Grumman
      BIO
      mehy
      XPbr65more
      This is a far (far) different statement from the original and I have no quibble with this re-statement.

      cfJ
      Dec 21, 2017
    • AT&T / Ops
      DDM2K

      AT&T Ops

      PRE
      Windstream
      DDM2Kmore
      IT is probably an org at Amazon where you’re actually treated as a quasi-human being and not having your balls busted for 80 hours a week.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      Depends. Does the job you want need a Phd? Research school professor? Are you deeply passionate about a very small subset of your field? Are you confident that you will be THE foremost expert on it GLOBALLY? Then do it.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      It's like going all in on yourself being so good at something with 5 years of your life. Do it for a year, if you won't get attached to the sunken cost
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Snapchat nF3aZ
    You can’t let FOMO and regret of bad decisions rule your life. One can’t reasonably expect to pick up on every single great investment and trend and expect to do the absolute best stock picking and investment choices possible. It’s impossible to be 100% optimal.

    You’re doing fine, just comparing yourself to unrealistic standards.

    Every single other person who didn’t get into crypto feels the same. I read a stat that Millenials keep the most cash of all the generations, somewhere upwards of 50% cash. Just knowing about stock and investing now means you’re incredibly lucky and ahead of the curve. Investing in your 20s is still amazing when many live paycheck to paycheck and don’t have a big 401k to save them at 65.

    Read some books about risk, decision making, human thinking and cognitive biases. Since 3/4 of your regrets appear to be financial, read some books about investing like a Random Walk Down Wall Street to get fundamentals, then always know that there are crazy things that don’t abide by the normal rules, set aside a small percent you feel OK gambling with and make risky investments.

    The feeling retarded seems to come from a sense of inferiority at “bad” monetary decisions, which should not lead to feeling “retarded”, just less rich than some people. If it’s the realization that you care more about money than you thought you did that’s fine, just adjust for it but don’t get too greedy

    Where you are now is probably ahead of 95% of Americans and 99% of the world. It’s only behind a tiny few percent of people who got ahead by a few years. And even so constantly comparing yourself is not healthy.
    Dec 21, 2017 0
  • Cruise Automation / Other
    Zzzzzers

    Cruise Automation Other

    BIO
    Retired 🚗
    Zzzzzersmore
    I'm sorry you work at lyft and have a small penis
    Dec 21, 2017 3
    • Gen!x / Eng
      XPbr65

      Gen!x Eng

      PRE
      Bank of America Merrill Lynch, HPE, Northrop Grumman
      BIO
      mehy
      XPbr65more
      Working at Lyft can be fixed, a microphallus however, now that’s forever.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Microsoft
      yMcg47

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore
      yMcg47more
      That’s not true. I get lots of emails about remedies
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Facebook HODLer
      You should forward them to OP.
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Amazon KanyeBest
    Hey at least you have a PhD and work at Lyft. I have a BS from a shit school and probably gonna work at Amazon.
    Dec 21, 2017 2
    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      Didn't finish the PhD, drop out. Was best move of my life.. imagining I'd have stayed a couple more years and tried to get an academic job somehow makes my current situation look good
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Facebook HODLer
      👍
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Apple Bnhjk56
    FOMO affects even those who invested in crypto. They feel they should have put in a lot more money a lot earlier etc. if you will have $1M+ in next few years of working then you are also a millionaire
    Dec 21, 2017 1
    • Facebook HODLer
      This. HODL longer!
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Netflix idwO72
    Maybe you are retarded. It’s ok. We still love you
    Dec 21, 2017 0
  • Microsoft
    yMcg47

    Microsoft

    BIO
    Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore
    yMcg47more
    Did you try masturbating? Will make you happy for a min
    Dec 21, 2017 0
  • Oracle ksnrjd8r
    I feel retarded for being a 30+yo virgin. That should clear you up.
    Dec 21, 2017 2
    • Amazon
      Benny Lava

      Amazon

      PRE
      Amazon
      Benny Lavamore
      That can be fixed for $300
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Oracle ksnrjd8r
      O bad vocab, I meant virgin via mack.
      Dec 21, 2017
  • Snapchat nF3aZ
    It feels less of a decision problem (you will be fine in life) than a mental/attitude/self esteem issue. Or perfectionism. Try starting with the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson, or some other resources
    Dec 21, 2017 0
  • Expedia atozee
    Chill bro...people always feel that the road not taken would have been better. You have your whole life to earn. Stop feeling sorry for the past and enjoy the present.
    Dec 21, 2017 0
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Lyft honeybadg
      OP
      Losing lots of weight helped... Lots of chub to hide the nub!
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Amazon / Eng
      Probably🍆

      Amazon Eng

      BIO
      Brb bio.
      Probably🍆more
      At least you got that going for you. Which is nice.
      Dec 21, 2017
    • Microsoft / Eng perishable
      Probably hidden from the rest of the world though
      Dec 21, 2017
  • New / Mktg
    BeKind2You

    New Mktg

    PRE
    AKQA
    BIO
    I've worked in advertising for the last 16 years on global brands and digital campaigns. Now I run a small digital production team.
    BeKind2Youmore
    Crypto just got slammed hard today btc is on sale is a buying opportunity for those w the cash avail for it. Maybe that’ll help?
    Dec 21, 2017 2
    • Microsoft
      yMcg47

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore
      yMcg47more
      Btc is slutty. Of course it got slammed
      Dec 21, 2017
    • New / Mktg
      BeKind2You

      New Mktg

      PRE
      AKQA
      BIO
      I've worked in advertising for the last 16 years on global brands and digital campaigns. Now I run a small digital production team.
      BeKind2Youmore
      Hahaha yeah she is. OP nows your chance not to feel regret if btc falls below 12k it’s gonna crash the market. Currently everything is on sale and a good time to buy if it’s crashes further it’s a fire sale better get that checkbook out and grab up the coins that you’ve hopefully been researching!

      Stop feeling sorry for yourself nothing holds a person back more than that. There are always opportunities to make huge dollars for smart motivated people.
      Dec 22, 2017
  • LinkedIn / Eng CryptoS
    Start by prioritizing money and yourself!
    There are always opportunities to make a bunch of $$. However they all require you to take risks!
    You will not kill it financially unless you bet the farm. Unfortunately most people who bet the farm end up with nothing.
    You need to all in something. That may be committing yourself 100% to your career and climbing the ladder, it may be dumping everything into speculative Realestate ventures, it may be getting into crypto.

    Stop listening to all the bull shit spewed by people and instead look at the actual actions of those you want to copy.
    Dec 21, 2017 0
  • Airbnb / Eng Km84fgw
    Don't worry, I feel retarded too because I had $100 in bitcoin 3 years ago, but I cashed it out instead of holding on to it.
    Dec 21, 2017 0

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