Friends I got an offer from a midsized well known startup in SF. Irrespective of the comp, I do not want to take the offer for reasons having to do with COL and QOL. How do I let them down without burning bridges? Should I tell the truth or should I say something else (ie. I need a H1B visa and there's no guarantee I'll get it in the lottery).
Whats wrong with telling the truth? What makes you think you have to hide your reasons?
No point in telling the truth. It would burn bridges if you want to work with them in the future. I'd tell them that I decided to not make a change right now because something personal came up. Someone in the family got sick, wife got pregnant, etc. Everyone understands that. No bridges are burnt and everyone is happy.
Dumb and dishonest
why to be honest n then get screwed (burn bridges)? Give them a reason which THEY would like to hear.
I just asked this not too long ago. Here’s my problem: 1) if I wasn’t feeling it and didn’t like the company, should I even contact them? If they didn’t contact me that day, the feeling must be mutual. So, etiquette- wise, can I just move on? 2) if they didn’t contact me that day, I must assume they don’t want me. Right? 3) when they did contact me to move forward, because I don’t like them, I feel I don’t really owe them a response. I can’t possibly be their only candidate. If I didn’t like them, I shouldn’t feel compelled to respond immediately, or at all, right? 4) if by some cosmic chance, they catch me on the phone, I certainly explain the truth— ONLY- if I like them or want to help them out. I’ll tell them what’s not attractive and how to change their process to be more attractive and who to target. If I don’t like them, I just let them know, “I’m no longer in the market.”
I had 2 offers a couple years ago. Both companies I have kept in touch with and have invited me to come back if anything changes. I rejected both offers. I still communicate with the hiring managers for them. They remember me. I remember them. The communication is two way and professional. 1) be honest. "After careful consideration I've decided this change isn't right for me at this time." 2) Be gracious. "I want to say thank you so much for considering me, and the time we spent together evaluating this decision. Your time valuable. Thank you for spending some of it on me." 3) be polite and professional. This is a lost art. Rejection of a job offer is a formal affair. It should reek of professionalism and courtesy. 4) make sure you would be comfortable showing your grandparents your response. Make it something they would be proud of you for. 5) be responsive. If you don't want to burn bridges and possibly even keep the door open, then realize that everything is about relationships. It's just ****** rude to be unwilling to write a 5 minute email to someone offering you a job. You're not better than anyone else in this world. You may be a better developer or technician, but you are likely no better a person than most other people. Show them that respect.
This is an excellent template.
These are great suggestions and have given me an idea. Here's what I am thinking of saying. I really enjoyed speaking with everyone in my interview loop, hearing about the work you're doing, and do think the product has a lot of potential. However, I am thinking of starting a family in the next 1 or 2 years and I don't think I will be able to fulfill my current and upcoming financial commitments with the mid level salary. Also having to relocate, if my H-1B visa gets rejected would put more strain on accomplishing this goal. Due to this factor, I think it would be best for me to take my next opportunity in my current location then revisit when I am more senior.
True. Maybe they will give a higher salary and try to convince me otherwise. How about if I just say immigration. If I don't get an H-1B Ill have to move to country X and that'll be difficult as it'll put me far away from my elderly parents and strain my family starting plans.
Telling them you want to discuss with your family and then after 1-2 days tell them they said no for some personal reasons.
There is a hypothetical TC number at which you will suck up the CoL and QoL and live in SF. eg for me it is 450k Ask for that number. They’ll either match or reject. Either way you get what you want.
If that number is well beyond what they can give you it doesn't seem like the most polite way to reject