Guys, need some tips on how to stay away from judging people? Last year i was affected as part of layoff and few my friends frowned upon it and think it was due to low performance and keep judging me. I felt it was purely power n politics which went against me. I truely believe in my potential and will do better in my life. Though i dont want bad for anyone but i feel they will understand once they have to go through same shit as i did.
- Autodesk sodjdjekrmPeople judge cause they want to feel better, think of it as their inability to self rely on their own accomplishments. When one realizes every one on the planet has different set of circumstances affecting everyone every day, trying to use certain metrics to feel accomplished in comparison to others is just silly.
- I had a similar problem when I was in school. I was not very good at coding and was teamed up with a brilliant member. I struggled a lot in my project course and I was hoping that they would help me get better. I was always told that team up with people better than you and you will grow, but it did not end well for me. My project partner ended ditching me and went to the professor and informed wrongly that I had not contributed anything to the project. I was told to do the project alone and I barely managed to pass. They then went on and spread a rumor about not to team up with me so I could not get project partners to work with on the next semester so I had to do most of the two person courses alone. I managed to graduate with a 2.9. That incident had strongly shaken my confidence and I ended up failing many technical interviews. Fortunately l received a job and I decided never again I would be in such a situation so I ended up doing leetcode non stop for 3 years. Now I am pretty much a pro and have offers from Google, Facebook and other top tech firms. I have decided to go to Google. Keep hope, if someone treats you badly because you are not smart enough, cut them out. Life is too short.
- Microsoft hellohibyeWow those classmates are bullies. Empathy is obtained by home education. Can I ask you if your college is public or private? Is it in US?
Teaming up with significantly better student was probably a bad idea though.
When I was a TA, I made extra effort to find a student who slacked in a group project as it was evident there were free riders when I was a undergrad. I felt it was unfair to give the same credit for free riders. So I can understand why the other guy asked to do it alone but spreading it to other students is plain wrong and following his advice is also wrong. They should have thought they could be at your position for other types of projects. Engineers seem lack empathy usually and go too much for merit based when the society can’t go in that way (perhaps that is because they themselves were bullied throughout school years or didn’t have time to learn social skills).
- @hellohibye I don't buy the argument that if you were bullied, you bully others or don't treat others with respect. This is exactly the problem with silicon valley where this stereotype justifies the toxic behavior of software engineers. What software engineers don't realize that people skills are super important in the tech sector and being siloed won't get you very far. At a deeper level there is no real advantage to free ride, since you internally know you are not learning anything but one must distinguish between free riders and students who have not yet developed the intuition of problem solving. When I was prepping up for topcoder competitions, it took me three years to develop that intuition and eventually get to red rating. So with practice anyone can become.really good so treating others in a shitty way just doesn't make sense. I am glad that I could break those personal boundaries move past these huge cliffs to to get to where I am now, so I always help people on leetcode or topcoder to develop the intuition as I have been fortunate enough to receive help.
- New heythereeEveryone gets laid off once in their life and it’s usually beyond your control. Just move on and don’t dwell on it. A lot of times it’s not because of performance issues. Don’t dwell on these negative feelings about why etc. Just move on and know that there’s a better opportunity for you out there
- Google / EngSexIsLoveFind a better job than theirs, and then judge the shit out of them until they cry.