Politics

How to stay away from judging people?

eBay shock
7d

Guys, need some tips on how to stay away from judging people? Last year i was affected as part of layoff and few my friends frowned upon it and think it was due to low performance and keep judging me. I felt it was purely power n politics which went against me. I truely believe in my potential and will do better in my life. Though i dont want bad for anyone but i feel they will understand once they have to go through same shit as i did.

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  • they are not your friends. be friends with better people
    7d0
  • Autodesk sodjdjekrm
    People judge cause they want to feel better, think of it as their inability to self rely on their own accomplishments. When one realizes every one on the planet has different set of circumstances affecting everyone every day, trying to use certain metrics to feel accomplished in comparison to others is just silly.
    7d0
  • Wayfair / Eng
    hErg55

    WayfairEng

    PRE
    Cognizant
    BIO
    Software Engineer 2
    hErg55more
    I had a similar problem when I was in school. I was not very good at coding and was teamed up with a brilliant member. I struggled a lot in my project course and I was hoping that they would help me get better. I was always told that team up with people better than you and you will grow, but it did not end well for me. My project partner ended ditching me and went to the professor and informed wrongly that I had not contributed anything to the project. I was told to do the project alone and I barely managed to pass. They then went on and spread a rumor about not to team up with me so I could not get project partners to work with on the next semester so I had to do most of the two person courses alone. I managed to graduate with a 2.9. That incident had strongly shaken my confidence and I ended up failing many technical interviews. Fortunately l received a job and I decided never again I would be in such a situation so I ended up doing leetcode non stop for 3 years. Now I am pretty much a pro and have offers from Google, Facebook and other top tech firms. I have decided to go to Google. Keep hope, if someone treats you badly because you are not smart enough, cut them out. Life is too short.
    7d3
    • Microsoft hellohibye
      Wow those classmates are bullies. Empathy is obtained by home education. Can I ask you if your college is public or private? Is it in US?

      Teaming up with significantly better student was probably a bad idea though.

      When I was a TA, I made extra effort to find a student who slacked in a group project as it was evident there were free riders when I was a undergrad. I felt it was unfair to give the same credit for free riders. So I can understand why the other guy asked to do it alone but spreading it to other students is plain wrong and following his advice is also wrong. They should have thought they could be at your position for other types of projects. Engineers seem lack empathy usually and go too much for merit based when the society can’t go in that way (perhaps that is because they themselves were bullied throughout school years or didn’t have time to learn social skills).
      7d
    • Wayfair / Eng
      hErg55

      WayfairEng

      PRE
      Cognizant
      BIO
      Software Engineer 2
      hErg55more
      Its an ivy league school.
      7d
    • Wayfair / Eng
      hErg55

      WayfairEng

      PRE
      Cognizant
      BIO
      Software Engineer 2
      hErg55more
      @hellohibye I don't buy the argument that if you were bullied, you bully others or don't treat others with respect. This is exactly the problem with silicon valley where this stereotype justifies the toxic behavior of software engineers. What software engineers don't realize that people skills are super important in the tech sector and being siloed won't get you very far. At a deeper level there is no real advantage to free ride, since you internally know you are not learning anything but one must distinguish between free riders and students who have not yet developed the intuition of problem solving. When I was prepping up for topcoder competitions, it took me three years to develop that intuition and eventually get to red rating. So with practice anyone can become.really good so treating others in a shitty way just doesn't make sense. I am glad that I could break those personal boundaries move past these huge cliffs to to get to where I am now, so I always help people on leetcode or topcoder to develop the intuition as I have been fortunate enough to receive help.
      7d
  • Everyone gets laid off once in their life and it’s usually beyond your control. Just move on and don’t dwell on it. A lot of times it’s not because of performance issues. Don’t dwell on these negative feelings about why etc. Just move on and know that there’s a better opportunity for you out there
    7d0
  • Oracle DMUe80
    Don't worry about it. Just move on. They r not paying your bills.
    7d0
  • Google / EngSexIsLove
    Find a better job than theirs, and then judge the shit out of them until they cry.
    7d1
    • eBay shock
      OP
      Thats my goal this year. Although i tried very hard last year but accepted ebay as there was no other option. This year i will try smartly and will see how things will turn up. T
      7d
  • ViaSat / Designmark1650
    You never really know what somebody else is thinking, and from my experience, it's best not to give a crap what they think.
    7d0
  • Indeed cyhy46
    Step one: Get better at judging people accurately
    Step two: stop feeling bad about it
    7d0
  • 6sense dfchubgchh
    I recommend reading Positive IQ. It will help you do what everyone else here is recommending. It has some very powerful tips and examples that helped me get through what you are facing. It’s worth the time.
    7d0
  • eBay Tim🍎
    Stop asking such silly questions, people will stop judging you
    7d1
    • eBay shock
      OP
      Sometimes its important to ask silly questions to know more prespectives. It might be silly for you but i really appreciate every one comments here and get to learn more from others. I feel motivated and reading one of the book suggested above.
      7d

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