Humiliation

Apple foobee
May 15 25 Comments

How do people survive constant humiliation?
I am shaking, and believe there is no point in supporting this anymore.
I just want to cry when it’s time to go to work.
I feel like I have been faking it for the last 10 years.
I feel miserable, horrible, ashamed.
I cannot support being anymore being treated this way.
Every day, I am thinking about quitting. But I have so many debt and I am on visa.
Also my personal life is stuck because of this, I cannot conceive having a baby while constantly feeling this way.
Sometimes I feel like doing something more drastic to ease the pain of those around me.

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TOP 25 Comments
  • Microsoft / Otherabcde4
    The US, and its Visa system, has a slavey feel to it.
    May 154
    • F5 Networks buzz-word
      Dude - no one is asking immigrants to stick to US.

      People are free to leave anytime. It isn’t Hotel California.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      Dude. Just because people can leave doesn't mean that we don't treat them poorly. It happens. If you don't like that reality, you are free to move to another country yourself. See how ridiculous that is?
      May 15
    • Capital One
      c1Lambda

      Capital One

      BIO
      Hello, I like turtles.
      c1Lambdamore
      F5 has a good point.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      It's a point that is universal, which makes it moot.
      May 15
  • HBO cjwg22
    Please see a therapist. Especially if you’re ideating, it’s critical to get support from someone who isn’t family/friends. Of course, the first therapist might not fit you and you’ll have to keep looking.

    I’ve been seeing therapists off and on for 25 years, and there’s no shame in that.
    May 151
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      This right here! ♥️♥️♥️ Lots of love and support to you both.
      May 15
  • FactSet / Eng
    Loci55

    FactSetEng

    PRE
    Salesforce
    BIO
    New grad software Engineer in NYC. Graduated - May 2017 (Bachelors)
    Loci55more
    No shame in seeking professional help. I’m barely in my mid 20s, and I’ve been getting regular help. It made me realize so many things about my subconscious attitudes, especially on being hard on myself and taking everything too seriously. But more than anything, having someone completely anonymous to talk to and just hear you rant has been the most therapeutic aspect of it. Do consider it, even if for one session. You will walk out of it feeling slightly lighter and more relaxed.
    May 153
    • Oracle 66ggff44
      well said. I think there is a lot of cultural taboo amongst Indians to seek therapy. But please your life is yours. Dont do anything drastic.
      May 15
    • FactSet / Eng
      Loci55

      FactSetEng

      PRE
      Salesforce
      BIO
      New grad software Engineer in NYC. Graduated - May 2017 (Bachelors)
      Loci55more
      Fwiw, I’m indian.
      May 16
    • Oracle 66ggff44
      good. Its important to take care of mental health.
      May 16
  • Apple / Strategy
    OnlyGifted

    AppleStrategy

    PRE
    Apple
    BIO
    I'm the next Steve Jobs. Let's make it happen.
    OnlyGiftedmore
    It's not okay that you feel this way. There should be someone in whom you can confide. Or at least a supervisor who can help address whatever happened.
    May 150
  • New / Engvusn92
    Why do you feel constant humiliation?
    May 150
  • To change your situation you may need to take a risk
    May 150
  • F5 Networks buzz-word
    Please don’t think about anything drastic. Please feel free to pm me if you want to talk.

    Life is beautiful and not everything is about work. Work is just a minor part.

    Take a vacation and slow things down.
    May 150
  • Google engg1
    Try to think of 1 positive/inspirational thing that has happened to you and another one that you can do today.
    Do this everyday when you leave for work.

    Constant wallowing in thoughts of misery is a self perpetuating machine. Difficult to break free of it, but starting with 1 positive thought a day will help get started.
    May 161
    • HBO cjwg22
      It’s like you’ve never suffered major depression.
      May 16
  • Amazon partygal
    Hey OP, feel free to message me. I'm on a visa so I can empathize to a certain extent, the fact that you feel pressured to stick around. But let me tell you. It is not worth it. Try getting help. If you don't feel comfortable enough to talk about it to a partner, don't worry. Just get help. Sounds hollow but it'll make a difference. Again, feel free to message me. I hope things change in your life. Lots of love to you!
    May 150
  • Oracle / Mgmtaiabc
    I will say words won’t help but try looking at brighter side of things ... try doing things which make you happy
    May 150
  • Google / Product4pmCoffee
    May 150
  • VMware / EngMdOQt73
    Sorry to read you're feeling like this. I don't want to even attempt to give specific advice not knowing your complete sorry. If I were you, I'd quit and look for other alternatives rather than selling my soul these soulless corporates. Look to see if you can find other jobs that support you Visa. Also F U Apple! this is not the first negative thing I'm reading about Apple.
    May 150
  • FactSet / Eng
    Loci55

    FactSetEng

    PRE
    Salesforce
    BIO
    New grad software Engineer in NYC. Graduated - May 2017 (Bachelors)
    Loci55more
    Additionally : read this book called “Feeling Good” by David Burns. Just read it, without any expectations or judgement. It’s helped me a ton, at least in confronting the pattern of behaviors that was putting me in a miserable state.
    May 160
  • Apple 🥭es
    Sorry to hear . OP : why do you feel humiliated? If it’s work , you must not tolerate it. There is a lot of help . You just need to reach out!
    May 150
  • Oracle 66ggff44
    Not sure if you're a woman. Not that it matters (curious since you mentioned conceiving). Please talk to a therapist. Not sure if you can change jobs. Do different things (music yoga hiking spending time with friends volunteering for charity etc.) that make u happy. Life is not just work alone.
    May 150
  • New / IT
    buttmunch

    NewIT

    BIO
    Blind leading the blind...
    buttmunchmore
    Some of us are moving overseas. I’m American and have been out of the USA for 6 years already.

    Smoke a joint (it’s legal) and relax.
    May 150

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