Am stuck, just paid for the treatment , got my first shot and husband had a meltdown followed by him storming off. What should I do ?
I am sorry you are going through this. Give him a break, he is just freaking out. I am not justifying his horrible reaction but it is not coming from a place of hate, just of fear and anxiety. IVF is hard on both parties.
@ejlf He may not be totally onboard with the idea of having kid right now. May have given in to the continuous pestering in a moment of weakness. When the event actually happened, the reality might have dawned on him.
SR-IOV your response was spot on, as this is very close to what happened. A few hours later, he has come around and confessed that its nerves and anxiety.
People often believe that their life will be over once they have a kid — totally untrue, but some people don’t understand that life doesn’t need to change post baby.
I disagree. Life changes a lot with children. That's an objective fact. Your life changes even if you had miscarriage. I've played enough puzzle games involving kids, car seats and adults. Just today we were unable to jet ski with my wife. Are you going to tell us we should have just left our children on the beach? Maybe we should have asked our 1.5yo to just try not to fall in water while sitting behind us? Care to come to our house and explain our kid that mommy and daddy want to sleep a bit or do something else at night and constantly crying is not constructive?
I hire help when needed and train my child to be independent. By 3, my kid could spend 2 hours in the morning alone, eating healthy breakfast snacks and playing (and watching a little iPad). When going on vacation I leave my kid with a set of grandparents. (We take our kid on trips, but our vacations are adult only.)
After having kids your whole perspective needs to change. After two kids your precious life is over. Now you have responsibilities.
We certainly did a much better job of keeping grownup activities going with one kid than with two
There may be some background that you have not disclosed. Is he the reason IVF is needed, meaning is it a biological issue on his side. If yes then it would explain his reaction to the start of the process. It affirms he has an issue and does not want to accept it. Besides the reaction, is everything else ok on the intimate side of your relationship? If yes then sit him down, ask him is he ready for children or not. Don't jump into IVF with only you into it and him not. He will feel pressured and it may cause more harm than good. The two of you need a serious chat and maybe some counseling
He isn’t the reason. I am. His vitals look good. I have an auto immune condition. Apart from this meltdown, we are pretty much in sync. We cook, travel and read together and are quite intimate. Unfortunately we’ve already started the IVF cycle today and Paid a huge amount out of pocket today, so can’t cancel this cycle. He confessed to me a few minutes ago that he was just very stressed, but am worried if he falls apart on day 1, what do I do when I am actually pregnant and trying to get some help
He needs to man up
You may want to check with below forum which is active on that specific topic https://www.babycenter.com/302_emotional-health-infertility_1516208.bc
Sorry to hear this but sort and work it out. Having a child is serious business!
Yeah what was the IVF for? We need more context. Are you putting another guys sperm in your eggs because his doesn't work?
Reddit is a better community for this. Great IVF subs.
Tell him to man the fuck up. IVF is going to be so physically and emotionally draining for you that he needs to be 100% on board. He is freaking out because this is so much more rational and planned than getting drunk and fucking, but that isn't an excuse.
Hey don’t underestimate the amount of planning you need to do to get drunk and fuck.
This ^ is true
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Can you share the link describing what topics are or are not allowed on Blind? I would think Blind would be a great place for this.. She can stay anonymous and get men's perspectives
This is a perfectly fine topic for Blind. Men post their relationship issues here all the time.