I have had a tough couple of years trying to stand up and set boundaries with my husband .
This was an arranged marriage and he came across to me as a very friendly and cheerful person in our initial meetings.
However things slowly started to unravel - he and his family gang up against me and plan for things without asking for my opinion- yet there is a very high expectation from me to show up for those plans.
We live in the US , away from both our families - however my inlaws still manage to control how things play out in our lives and my husband - with no concern for our privacy keeps sharing every minute detail about our lives with his mother and takes her help with decisions.
This had begun stressing me out and I almost lost my job , however i managed to prepare, interview and get a new job with the help of a few acquaintances. My family is extremely inline with the Indian culture of a wife adjusting to things in her married life and do not support me. I feel utterly confused.
EDIT: I see some very supportive responses in this thread and i would thank every single one of you’ll. Admittedly it is just my version of things - but i appreciate the care and concern shown by the community , because , without a forum of this scale , it is definitely impossible for me to reach out to the community and gather opinions. I can only hope that the fact that i am reaching out and taking opinions would atleast communicate that I wouldnt for a second throw my partner under the bus by wrongly accusing of things.
To everyone who is hearing me out - you have no idea how much you have cheered me up today with your support . i was alone and depressed , and didnt know of a source that would hear me out. I was feeling trapped. Thanks to everyone.
I would state clearly where you are right now and if thing don't improve what you will do. You're an independent working woman. Trust me, he'll have a hard time finding a decent woman than you find a decent man. Good luck.