I am not getting along well with my colleague. Should I resign or stay on? Advice!

IEEE / IT olokomuyo
Oct 14 21 Comments

I went back to school this term to pursue a CS certificate in order to hone my software engineering skills.

I decided to take part in the student government association by applying for a senator position. I got interviewed by the vice president and speaker of the senate (both females), and I was nominated for confirmation in the senate.

During my nomination, I noticed the executive board (President, VP, Directors, Attorney General, Solicitor General, Treasurer) and senators except one gentleman were all females. I was happy to work with them and fortunately, I got confirmed as a senator.

I have barely spent more than one week, but I have begun to resent all my female colleagues. Particularly, the president and vice president are not approachable, bossy, and a little bit unprofessional even during our formal sessions.

In the Senate, since we are just 3 boys and 15 females, it's hard for me to work with them to draft legislation. Plus, there is a lot of conflict of interest that I noticed among them, yet they don't abstain or disclose it upfront that they are affiliated or will benefit from a particular group if we are voting on legislation. They are also full of bias - they didn't nominate and voted any boy for senate leadership.

We have an internal election for Chair of Appropriations Committee tomorrow, I can nominate myself. But I am thinking these ladies will not vote for me even though i meet the requirements.

In my old school, I was part of the SGA, and I got along with all the females perfectly. Our boss was a woman, so i don't hate women. These ladies are just different. How can they use Beyonce pictures as a profile photo for our Senate internal chat? I couldn't complain or even raise my objection. There is a lot of stuff that's not going well, but I just don't talk so they won't label me a sexist.

Lastly, all our SGA members are all Blacks, which to me isn't representative of the whole student body. I feel they are biased with their initiatives even though i myself I am black but not from America.

How can I voice my concerns without being accused of sexism, misogyny, or patriarchy? Should I resign or stay on? I have a lot of initiatives I want to work on to help students.

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TOP 21 Comments
  • What? Get out of here
    Oct 14 1
  • Amazon / Eng
    weeeeeeee

    Amazon Eng

    BIO
    AWS
    weeeeeeeemore
    See, sexism and racism are one way avenues. You can’t be sexist to a man, and you can’t be racist to a white person.

    Please fall in line or you’re going to be destroyed.
    Oct 14 2
    • IEEE / IT olokomuyo
      OP
      i don't get. did you read what i wrote?
      Oct 14
    • Amazon / Eng
      weeeeeeee

      Amazon Eng

      BIO
      AWS
      weeeeeeeemore
      Yes.
      Oct 14
  • Expedia Group oHwb52
    You are there for just over a week and have formed a full opinion, full of assumptions - sorry to say but you are at fault here. You must slow down, allow yourself time go get to know them - I would schedule 1:1 meetings/coffee to learn what they are up to, how do they feel about the roles, what ideas they have, etc etc

    Ultimately, you as a newbie will face situations like this over and over again in your professional life. And as a newbie, don’t try to shake things up after 5 days on the job. Listen, observe, be a team player, learn and once you earn the team’s trust and respect, then you start putting your mark on it.
    Oct 14 1
    • IEEE / IT olokomuyo
      OP
      Perfectly put! Now I know better. I will follow your advice.
      Oct 14
  • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
    You can’t call females “bossy” it’s considered a slur nowadays
    Oct 14 1
    • IEEE / IT olokomuyo
      OP
      i didn't now that. thanks for the heads up.
      Oct 14
  • Citibank / Mgmt 🐟r🏷️
    Sounds like you don't work well with others.
    Oct 14 1
    • IEEE / IT olokomuyo
      OP
      i work well with others. i am just not used to these set of colleagues yet. i will get used to them as time goes on. it's just my observation.
      Oct 14
  • Pacific Life Corporation bmQt44
    You said it has only been 1 week. Give it some more time.
    Oct 14 1
  • Autodesk DouP01
    “not approachable, bossy, and a little bit unprofessional” - sounds like most male leaders I’ve known
    Oct 14 1
    • IEEE / IT olokomuyo
      OP
      i believe it goes both ways. Men and women are the same. Just that women have been historically reduced in society. Now that they are being elevated and as we champion more opportunities for women in leadership positions expect them to behave like those male leaders. By the way, it's like ladies are avenging the injustice perpetrated against them a long time ago on innocent young boys like me that have been very good and supportive of women all my life.
      Oct 14
  • Veritas dogyear
    Are you still in high school all I read was about a student councils drama
    Oct 14 0
  • Intel / Eng Feetcode
    Brahhhh who has time to read your post. Get to the point.
    Oct 14 0
  • Taylor Farms azerty_
    3 boys and 15 ladies. Sounds awesome to me ;)
    Oct 14 2
    • IEEE / IT olokomuyo
      OP
      yes, its diversity and inclusion. but i think there are a lot of initiatives focused on just one group only. representative democracy is absent.
      Oct 14
    • NASA qKln23
      Does not sound very diverse to me
      Oct 14
  • Fast Enterprises / Eng nskcjx4
    Pump and dump
    Oct 14 0

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