I don’t know that I like who I am becoming
I got into big tech in my 30s, after spending years with small consultancies. Those were fun, and often interesting. No huge impact, nothing wildly inventive but still creative at times and largely fulfilling. But I wanted more, and got it. Managed to get into FANG, and then like others, leveraged that into a high paying role at OCI.
I’m noticeably gruffer and blunter. I speak directly and often forcefully; I call people out on their bullshit. I like it when lazy people fear me. I’m succinct in my feedback, I’m focused in my daily activities, I’m professional and leave my personal shit out of the office.
I’ve seen my compensation triple within 3 years. But I don’t know that I’m doing this right. I have a few good friends, a lovely girlfriend, yet I feel like something might be...missing.
I know, I know. Yet another tech bro who makes decent money feels empty! It’s horribly unoriginal. I get it. I just wanted to write some of this out, though. It’s like I feel like I’ll be seen as weak if I go back to being the nicer, gentler guy I used to be.