I feel a void in me since I have moved to the US. Anyone else who feels lonely in this country? I moved from India few years ago and though I have a thousand friends in this country, I never feel this is home. I have friends calling me everyday, visiting me often, I visit them, pursue my hobbies, and work out. In this country, I have gotten used to doing everything on my own and being comfortable just by myself (not sure if I should be happy or sad about this). Back home, I never had food just by myself in 25+ years. Indeed Iwas the kind who would rather not have food than have it alone. I wonder if it has something to do with the life here or is this just called growing up. I often think I should move back to India. But I am afraid what if this void and being by myself is just a part of growing up, and I end up feeling the same if I move back. Any thoughts?
This void is the only reason I decided to get married. I wonder how many people would stay happily unmarried if there was a way to get the kind of closeness you described from friends (everywhere, not just US)
Lolwhat. I don't think I would want to get married to get over this void. I don't want to be miserable in a marriage, which will most likely happen if I marry for the wrong reasons.
Haha...I got married and my wife made sure my life sucks even more 😀
I feel the same. I asked this around as well. There are a few people who feel like this and most others do not. I guess this depends on person to person and probably on how different your life is here compared to back home. I really want to move back as well and i will soon.
I haven't met many people in real life who want to move back. Most want to stay here for the better roads, higher TC, and lesser pollution. But I don't want to live my life by myself, like I am doing now.
It's a bit less crowded here and people are more independent. This definitely comes with some tradeoffs. Also some of this is normal home sickness and culture shock.
I think Americans take the definition of independence a little too far. No offense to anyone. It's not a culture shock, I am not a fob. I have been here for a few years now. It may be home sickness though.
Homesickness.. yes to an extent. But after a while, you do get used to the place where you’re living right? So homesickness and especially cultural shock wears off, IMO. Anyways, I had a friend visiting my from India. We stayed together for a month and after speaking to them I realized I don’t belong in India either. I’m somewhere in the middle lol
I've always said this to my friends. I'm too American to be considered Indian and too Indian to be considered American. The tragedy of immigrants.
So true
I’m American and this is my least favorite aspect of American culture. It’s very individualist and not communal.
I am glad someone accepted this. I noticed Americans supporting it by calling it 'true independence'. I find it sad that many people here don't know what it is like to have a social circle, active friends, to visit the extended family once a month, cook together with friends, and celebrate festivals together more often.
The U.S. culture may be contributing but it’s mostly growing up. In the U.S., we find hobbies to fill the void as we grow older. People who share hobbies often connect because of similar interests.
Even I feel the void too, USA is good for professional life but on personal level it doesn't provide a lot of options. If you are missing India you can always go back. But most Indians don't going back as an option 😁
I’m in the same boat op. And I think it’s the country and the fact that we’re on our own. Yes I do have friends- My coworkers are my BFFs we eat together and get drinks after work etc and we talk about things. And that’s where it ends. I had even more friends at University. We had dinner parties very weekend. But since everyone started working, we drifted. Some of us don’t even talk anymore, mainly because we changed cities and got busy with our lives. My friends know friends who are a part of one big group where they hang out regularly. And I think that’s a good platform to develop friendships if one wants to. But I live in a much smaller city and I don’t know enough people or enough people my age. Anyways I got used to living alone. It’s very peaceful in a way. May be it’s a part of my personality that allows me to do that. I have friends from India who I talk to regularly. So I feel like I still have that connection with somebody. Also, Developing a hobby helped a lot. But if I start feeling miserable again, I might just talk to a therapist.
In the same boat
Hi five. Do you think the reason is US or is this void a part of growing up?
I think it's about people around me. If I get my family here and my friends from India here; US would be the ideal place to be in. Unfortunately that's not feasible and hence the void. I have just been here for 2 years so far and I have started feeling like belonging nowhere. Roads, cleanliness, no pollution, high TC, cutting edge technology, beauty of US are on one hand and people in India are on the other. I think I won't be fully happy anymore because I will have to choose one. And the choice is clear- I need people around me. I would miss the positives of US and I will be very sad about it; but lack of people, individualism, lack of feeling of belonging, lack of people who care in US is something very difficult to get along with.
I see your point. I worked in India for a few years and I never had a meal all alone. But here, I hardly have lunch with friends. Even if it is, it's very formal. I have not formed deep friendships with any non-Indian as yet (though I talk to everyone). I always have to be politically correct here, so that reduces the banter. This void is killing me. But I am just unsure if all this is a part of growing up. Thanks for your insights though, appreciate the honesty.
I'm exactly in the same boat. I think it's a mix of growing up and seclusion of American lifestyle.