I feel a void in me since I have moved to the US. Anyone else who feels lonely in this country? I moved from India few years ago and though I have a thousand friends in this country, I never feel this is home. I have friends calling me everyday, visiting me often, I visit them, pursue my hobbies, and work out.
In this country, I have gotten used to doing everything on my own and being comfortable just by myself (not sure if I should be happy or sad about this). Back home, I never had food just by myself in 25+ years. Indeed Iwas the kind who would rather not have food than have it alone. I wonder if it has something to do with the life here or is this just called growing up.
I often think I should move back to India. But I am afraid what if this void and being by myself is just a part of growing up, and I end up feeling the same if I move back.
Any thoughts?
comments
This comment was deleted by original commenter.
Yeah maybe it's both about the American lifestyle and growing up. But I want to get rid of this void.
I wonder how many people would stay happily unmarried if there was a way to get the kind of closeness you described from friends (everywhere, not just US)
Everybody grows apart as we grow up, because we get married/ get into a relationship and that, along with kids, and the paraphernalia (house etc) keeps us so busy that all the other relationships, like friendship, weaken.
So basically, everyone gets married because everyone else gets married.
If marriage wasn't a thing at all, then I doubt someone would've wanted to invent that concept and get married.
I don't want to get married because everyone else is getting married. And if I do, then my partner may or may not want to move back. If not, then it will be an added constraint.
Although since all your family is in India, you're feeling what an American would've felt living in, say, Poland or some totally alien place.
I am single. On one side I am happy because I get time for myself and my hobbies. On the other hand, the void is killing.
It feels like everyone who actually cares for me, whom I can call and share my sad story if I have someday, with whom I can discuss a bad day at work, or simply call up to say hi, are all Indians. I haven't developed this connection with anyone else though I know a lot of non Indians.
Homesickness hasn't worn off for me though. If I don't visit India for an year, I start getting sad and lonely.
I had even more friends at University. We had dinner parties very weekend. But since everyone started working, we drifted. Some of us don’t even talk anymore, mainly because we changed cities and got busy with our lives.
My friends know friends who are a part of one big group where they hang out regularly. And I think that’s a good platform to develop friendships if one wants to. But I live in a much smaller city and I don’t know enough people or enough people my age.
Anyways I got used to living alone. It’s very peaceful in a way. May be it’s a part of my personality that allows me to do that. I have friends from India who I talk to regularly. So I feel like I still have that connection with somebody.
Also, Developing a hobby helped a lot. But if I start feeling miserable again, I might just talk to a therapist.
Unfortunately that's not feasible and hence the void.
I have just been here for 2 years so far and I have started feeling like belonging nowhere. Roads, cleanliness, no pollution, high TC, cutting edge technology, beauty of US are on one hand and people in India are on the other.
I think I won't be fully happy anymore because I will have to choose one. And the choice is clear- I need people around me. I would miss the positives of US and I will be very sad about it; but lack of people, individualism, lack of feeling of belonging, lack of people who care in US is something very difficult to get along with.