I started to dislike my wife these days
Been married for 5 years. We are normal people with simple life style.I have recently started to dislike my wife. Main reason being - she has too many double standards. She is some one who tried to be bold and as a result never admits her fault. The list goes on. Any one in similar boat as mine. Please this is by no means a gender bias or wife thrashing thread. I have been really upset lately that I wanted to share here.
Get a new wife.
If it really doesn’t affect you, and her opinion only offends you because you were taught to be offended by such language, it’s not worth getting divorced over. Divorce is for when someone broke their marriage vows: cheated, committed a crime against you, or doesn’t choose to care for you anymore as their partner. I mean, let her have an opinion? Shit.
There is something called cognitive dissonance where people have inconsistent thoughts or beliefs and try to rationalize. I would open the lines of communication and talk about it. She might realize the contradiction from speaking it aloud. I had an issue with my wife who would never admit she was wrong. So I insisted we talk about it. A lot. Eventually we figured it out, and it’s become an inside joke between us.
Lucky you
Always choose to see and talk about what you love about her. If you choose to love what you love will expand and if you choose to criticize - all you’ll see are faults. When she criticizes you, inform her of this axiom. Don’t try to change her, that’s not your responsibility, your job is to love her and love the change.
Become the wife
Lol
+1
Get a very good example of her using double standards and explain it clearly. Tell her it’s causing you stress. See what she does to address it. If you’ve been good for 5 years and this recently arose, chances are she’ll work with you to improve.
Have you ever successfully deployed this idea in the real world?
I like some of the constructive comments here - Love what you like Try to take I am trying to do both. But as a human I fail too when things get over board. Or there is this evil spirit which brings negativity upfront and we need to fight over it. Talking out does sooth things but they seem to be temporary
My fiancé and I have been together 4 years. He and I both think we’re always right. It’s really annoying. Now days we might argue for maybe 5 minutes and then both say we’re sorry. We love each other a lot, so it doesn’t matter who’s right. It matters that we both talk about our problems and admit there’s a possibility we’re wrong. It always ends well :) maybe try to explain to her in the end it doesn’t necessarily matter who is right, and the point is you love each other and are willing to work through communication hurdles.
There’s is often resistance in admitting being wrong, more often found in people of Asian origin. I think it is because authoritative top-down culture. Many Asian woman grow under the strict eyes of their father and/or teacher. At younger ages, upon being wrong, probably they were punished or some privileges were taken away. That’s why they will never admit being wrong. I think us software engineers are too binary also. It is important to see a grey world and not prove right or wrong in relationships.
I agree, admitting you are wrong is not taken lightly and there are consequences to it unlike the west where words like sorry and thank you are thrown at you without any self reflection. they retain their importance and their consequences in the east
That's how wife means, never-wrong-person. Get used to it.