I want pedigree but I’ll never get it. What do I do?
I don’t have a pedigreed job or a pedigreed degree. I basically have nothing worth anything to other people. It drives my self loathing. This is a “me” problem - I don’t really blame anyone else. I take SSRIs but it helps only for anxiety, not so much for these feelings. I keep hating myself every time I come upon a Stanford grad in the news or whatever (why am I so lazy and dumb?). I’ve tried CBT a few times starting since 3rd grade but it hasn’t helped. Has anybody else successfully come to terms with their crippling mediocrity/ life failure?
The only failure here is one of imagination. Seems that you’re clinging to an old script about success that isn’t doing you any favors. My advice is to train yourself, at every opportunity, to reframe your thinking. Instead of focusing on Stanford, accept the reality that you’re still at company millions of people would be excited to work at. Even if you’re in a relatively unglamorous position. You live in a wealthy country despite that fact that 4 BILLION people on this planet live in poverty. Hopefully you have your health. All of these facts can support a new and more balanced story about yourself. Plenty of Stanford grads right now are going to bed upset that they didn’t get a promotion, or some other brass ring they’ve got their sights on. You’ll never win playing that game because the goalposts keep shifting. Nor will the people whose identities are based on their school or job title. Use this one precious life you’ve got to do your best despite whatever shortcomings may have initially set you back (or not.) Ask yourself every night how you served others. Retire the “little me” story and live a bigger one that’s not all about you.
Just listen to me. I, and many of my friends have prestigious degrees and jobs. Many of our lives suck, a bunch of us are stupid (relative to what the media considers smart), and none of us make "enough" money to do what we want to do. We worry about the same things you do on a daily basis: what will I eat today? How will I find a gf? Why is my wife mad at me? How can I buy that cool shiny thing I want? When will I get promoted. The ivy league is not some magical place for demigods. It's a great place to be, but I've met many people who didn't go there who would far exceed most of my classmates. Now focus on delivering real value to the world instead of worrying about brand signaling.
WTF is going on with all these posts about prestige/pedigree from people at Amazon?
Happiness comes from within. You have some inner source of misery which you explain by lack of Ivy / facebook credentials. Oh and btw kids playing in the mud in Indonesia are much happier than someone coding 16 hours a day in PSC season to get that awesome rating.
"happy" is forcing too much. This analogy is flawed as they go through insane pain in life bc they lack the most basic things the developed world takes for granted. If you break an arm and need to go to the hospital you'll wish to be that programmer working 16h rather the not so happy kid on the mud that most of the times don't have access to a proper diet or even clean water. Do an experiment, if you come across anyone who came from a background like that and got to a better position ask them if they'd rather go back and live as before. OP is lacking perspective and needs to practice some gratitude. I recommend volunteering, you'll help others less privileged and will feel better about yourself.
Seek God my friend, don't chase the desires of man and this world, chase the reason we exist and love.
Other than just wallowing in my mediocrity, no. I’m going to hit 40 soon and I’ve never worked for a big 4 or big 5 or big 500. Just piss poor consulting companies run by idiot managers. Ive never made a lot of money. I’ve worked hard but just been short on luck. I’m also overweight just always been larger since I was a kid. Although I’ve lost weight via diet and exercise in the past injury and self sabotage keeps putting it back on. I’ve been single all my life. No kids. Not that I care anymore. It used to bother me being alone but now I’ve found a community on blind. Additionally prostitutes solve the loneliness problem and make me feel valued.
Pedigree is good dog food
Also: a lot of elite universities (including Stanford) have professional education departments that award certificates. Why not start with that? Although I firmly believe this won’t make you happy, I’m also of the “It’s never too late” school of thought.
Yeah but nobody is impressed by that. What’s the point?
Stop caring so much about what other people think. You will never win that game.