If there are world war between FAANG who would win?

Microsoft manoi 🤯
Oct 11 33 Comments

Who would win a war between FAANG if the employees are the soldiers? Here's my analysis of armies:

Amazon - like China; largest army and can outnumber anybody; uses oppression tactics to win over small business like China does with Hong Kong and Taiwan; Bezos = Xi

Google - like U.S. army; most intelligent army and most advanced weapons; tries to predict and know everything about their enemy; other countries/companies aspire to be like them

Apple - like India; big army and rose to power due to a single man; Steve Jobs = Gandhi; makes the spiciest weapons/products

Facebook - like Russia; spies on everything you do; not the biggest army but can inflict the most damage in a single strike; deadliest weapons; led by a dictator who pretends to be democratic; Zucc = Putin

Netflix - like France; small but powerful and respected by others

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TOP 33 Comments
  • What? It’s obviously Facebook, absolutely scheming ruthless leadership willing to do anything it takes to win, plus an army of extremely smart engineers who work their asses off with fanatical dedication.

    Google people would be too laid back, everyone just resting and vesting writing design docs about the theory of projectiles or some shit, meanwhile some crazy ass Facebook terrorists sneak in and suicide bomb the fuck out of Google HQ.
    Oct 11 4
    • Microsoft manoi 🤯
      OP
      Amazon can outnumber them and Google has better tools/weapons. Dedication isn't everything in war.
      Oct 11
    • Google vs Facebook would be like...US vs Afghanistan or Vietnam. Would be a bloodbath but the US could not win.

      Amazon workers have too little morale. They’d be working their asses off but would be paid like half of Facebook, plus their food would be strictly rationed in the name of “frugality” while general Bezos is the richest man alive. So most Amazon people would defect to other camps.
      Oct 11
    • Oath LxSY42
      Also, Zuck is the only one I can literally imagine trying to order his employees to fight to the death to defend his wealth. Bezos would consider it, but he isn't quite that far gone. Ellison would certainly give the order, but all of his true believers are long gone from Oracle. The rest and vesters there would just mark the 'die for your godking' ticket complete without reading it and get back to eating Lunch. Oracle might be like the Egyptian army. It was a legit power at one point, but all the generals have just been in business for themsves for decades.

      Zuck has the right blend of detachment, resources, following, confidence, that I wouldn't be at all surprised to see him order employees to do life threatening things For The Cause.

      Also can't count out Uber. They took out a pedestrian, so they were the tech company that drew first blood.
      Oct 11
    • Yeah I mean, Uber and Oracle and the unicorns aren’t even in the picture here, those would basically be like the pawns that FAANG would buy and use on each other.
      Oct 11
  • Google Ben Dover.
    Good poll 👍🏻
    Oct 11 1
  • Google giannis
    Slow Friday?
    Oct 11 1
    • Microsoft manoi 🤯
      OP
      Here at Microsoft everyday is slow day
      Oct 11
  • eBay usbahsiwb
    Comparing Steve Jobs to corrupt Gandhi family is the worst analogy I’ve ever heard
    Oct 11 4
    • Southwest Airlines spdlfjaoe
      Gandhi family isn't related to Mahatma Gandhi though I thought?
      Oct 11
    • eBay usbahsiwb
      Didn’t gandhi died just after Indian independence, he didn’t contribute to the slow growth of the country
      Oct 11
    • eBay usbahsiwb
      However apart from Apple/India, your analogy makes sense
      Oct 11
    • New xzYN53
      Idk tho look at the aftermath of Jobs ... look at how he sold total bullshit like the App Store ... that’s not corruption?
      Oct 11
  • LinkedIn kXzR14
    MSFT gonna win
    Oct 11 1
    • Microsoft manoi 🤯
      OP
      That's why I didn't include us because it would be unfair to others. MSFT = NATO
      Oct 11
  • Bezos is damn near a real life war general. Rumor has it their army are zombies that never run out of energy thanks to all of the free bananas. Amazon will shit on any other FAANG in a war.
    Oct 11 0
  • New Ab44
    Where is Albertsons
    Oct 12 1
  • You guys obviously don't know Gandhi and what Indians think of him.
    Oct 12 0
  • Apple / Eng eztc
    I love this because I often feel like I’m in India when I’m at work
    Oct 11 0
  • Facebook geFhu7
    Google always win every poll.
    Oct 16 1
    • Google topCon
      But FB pays more.
      Oct 16
  • New MikeJM
    L
    Oct 11 1
  • Cummins EvOc34
    Great poll
    Nov 12 0
  • New / Eng _95
    of course, majority will vote Google based on your descriptions.
    Oct 12 0
  • Symantec NGge16
    What a waste of time.
    Oct 12 0
  • Google cjjdjd
    World war would have ended by the time Googlers done with design doc and invasion okr
    Oct 12 0
  • Google topCon
    WeWork will kill all. It's like the Night King leading the undead. Kinda like a cult.
    Oct 12 0
  • New nqUl88
    makes the spiciest weapons 🤣
    Oct 11 0
  • New / Eng maag
    Google > Fb > Amazon > Apple >> Msft (unfinished weapons, laid back army and dependent on Google's chrome and Android)
    Oct 11 0
  • New xzYN53
    Def Facebook anyone who voted otherwise has quite a low IQ. Fb employees are soulless psychopaths. (On average.) Google are smart but too frail and autistic and chill. AA are h1 gulags they obv lose any war. And N too small.
    Oct 11 0

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