Indian American Prejudices about Indians

Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
Aug 23 118 Comments

I am an Indian Guy from India. Being young and single I do alot of online dating. I don't have a racial preference and have been on dates with almost races white/black/asian/mexican/indians/indian Americans.

I get quite a few first dates, some of them go well some don't. But I have noticed a pattern with American born indian girls that they would be really interested at first , but the moment you tell them you are born and raised India. They just freak out. I can literally see a change in their facial expressions and body language. They lose interest right away.

On the other hand, if girls from other races find out that I am indian, they get more involved and I can see them being curious about he culture.

Have you guys(Indian Guys) noticed this at all? Is this just racist prejudice or what?

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TOP 118 Comments
  • Snapchat BlindAsA🦇
    Most people care a lot less about race than culture. They probably don't want to deal with the culture norms from the old country. I would try to understand what they don't like about it, and then ask yourself if you exhibit those qualities or not. If you don't, then maybe try to be proactive and mention how you love American culture and not Indian culture.

    Indian culture is pretty alien to most people born in the US, so I wouldn't blame them for making some assumptions.
    Aug 23 14
    • BYTON cJKu57
      Two points here :
      1. U r wrong about who's in "majority" and who's "some". I would contend majority is men (even women) who believe in patriarchy and "some" are the ones who are for equality.
      Evidence : current prime minister of India elected democratically.
      Evidence 2: https://news.gallup.com/poll/24004/gallup-world-poll-women-rural-india.aspx

      2. I am not saying it's okay to judge an individual based on group property. I am saying it's a human tendency to do so. And we all have to try and overcome that tendency. Source: https://www.socialsciencespace.com/2018/08/mahzarin-banaji-on-implicit-bias/
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      On your 2. Point, so you do agree that we need to overcome this tendency then?
      Aug 23
    • BYTON cJKu57
      We should. But there's not always time or reason to do that.

      How much time would u spend figuring out a tiger when u see it coming towards u? U better just run away in that situation.

      It's not a perfect analogy and sure when it's appropriate u should give a person enough chance to know them as an individual but there's also a place and time when u need to just steer clear.
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Hahahahah you just compared dying from a tiger attack to dating an indian guy. Hilarious
      Aug 23
    • BYTON cJKu57
      Dude. U need to get into some abstract thinking.
      I am comparing a thought process by giving u an extreme example. It's a tool often used in philosophy to cut to the heart of the matter. Cuz an extreme example easily demonstrates the reasoning behind something.
      Aug 23
  • BYTON cJKu57
    A LOT of Indian raised people (mostly guys) come with a lot of old transitional ideas about male patriarchy and racist views in my experience.

    PS. I am India raised guy.
    Aug 23 25
    • BYTON cJKu57
      Considering animal rights (read a bit of peter singer) and how whale population is declining, I don't think it's shitty to have concern for killing whales
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Dude you are all over the place right now
      Aug 23
    • BYTON cJKu57
      I am. Cuz u r not getting the point. And I am trying to make it easier for u to understand by coming at it from different angles.
      Aug 23
    • Walmart XQLb37
      You are right, @Northwestern Mutual. I am out of this thread now.
      Aug 23
    • SAP tjjj
      Implicit bias is not right, and cannot be. What can be generalized at a population-level cannot necessarily be applied or assumed at an individual level. Just because men in the Bay have a hard time dating due to the skewed gender ratios here, does not automatically mean that every woman complaining about not getting good enough dates, is a lie. Snap judgements are OK when they involve just you. It's when they are applied on ANOTHER along with implicit bias working alongside, that there is a possibility of it being wrong - if not directly for you, for the other person (and therefore, indirectly, also for you). Just because someone doesn't have or want to invest time in knowing every individual, does not make their decision, in the context of THE particular person they are interacting with, necessarily right. Is it their choice? Certainly. Is the assumed bias right? May be not (the degree depending on how severely the bias has the potential of impacting the one you are interacting with).
      Aug 23
  • McAfee JohnMcPee
    Here is a conversation that was going decently until I revealed my ethnicity.

    One of many.
    Aug 23 11
    • Move aguA47
      ask for her mom's #
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      😂
      Aug 23
    • Oracle / Eng aham
      @John you should have asked what she means by that kind of Indian? She really sounds stupid and arrogant.
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Lol she is
      Aug 23
    • Amazon Kdey-82ocd
      This is the type of Indian American who most likely hates being brown, are ashamed of their parents or family that were born in India and grew up wanting to be something else.

      Do not waste your time on coconuts.

      As for others, it could be mainly about cultural differences, patriarchal thoughts and fear of lack of compatibility.

      I don't think you got to worry about your conversational skills or other stuff others are talking about. Coz if you're getting those many right swipes, I'm sure you don't look or dress like someone FOB.
      Aug 23
  • New MITftw
    In my opinion, it's because they look down on people from India due to their own insecurities and inferiority complex they have, growing up here and never being identified as an American even though they were born here! (Even though there is nothing wrong in being identified as Indian American) All that insecurities turned into resenting people from India and they see them as their only chance to act Superior over them.
    Aug 23 6
    • New MITftw
      Read the post again. They were born here aka in America! The so called toxic culture you say they experienced must be here as well!
      Aug 23
    • Amazon TRuc81
      Perhaps from people they know? Uncles, parents, cousins who were Indian born and don’t adapt?
      Aug 23
    • New MITftw
      Not everyone's Uncles parents and cousins are toxic like yours! Or even like you! What's with you trying so hard to paint someone's culture as toxic. Who hurt you man?
      Aug 23
    • Amazon TRuc81
      lol not even Indian, just trying to explain why they would feel this way, as opposed to your explanation of inferiority complex
      Aug 23
    • BYTON cJKu57
      Amazon is right. Old people and old traditions don’t change easily.

      And that’s not just about Indian culture. There’s plenty in American culture wrong as well. Just not the same things and not in the same way as Indian.
      Aug 24
  • Amazon hermit
    According to my friend who is Indian American, she is wary of dating guys from India because there are a lot of them who are just in it for an easy way to get a green card. Not generalising but thats how it is.
    Aug 23 3
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Why do you think other american girls of different races Don't have that opinion? Most of them do know about our visa issues and how marrying an american can solve those issues
      Aug 23
    • Google big onion
      Not generalizing, but a lot of such girls think of themselves as a prized commodity too.

      Indians are usually not known to marry and dump, so even if there might be an added advantage of guy getting a green card, why would thar be a problem?

      Could it be somehow related to the girls' tendency to find a male who has status, and not having a green card makes them think of the guy having lower status?
      Aug 23
    • Microsoft bh77!63?)7
      She is wary of such men because her father was one such man once 😂
      Aug 24
  • Oracle / Eng aham
    Not limited to Indian American women. Many American raised don't want to date FOBs.
    Aug 23 10
    • Amazon TRuc81
      Depends on what they know about German culture etc. I doubt an UK born Indian would face the same problems you are facing
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      So if a UK born Indian won't face the same issue, then how is it a fob issue? Then clearly it is a cultural bias
      Aug 26
    • Amazon TRuc81
      Yes that’s clearly what I said. “They don’t want to date people with different cultural values”
      Aug 26
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      True true.. i am just trying to know why so much of indian culture hating lol
      Aug 26
    • Amazon TRuc81
      There are tons of replies in this post, I feel as though they are pretty explanatory lol
      Aug 26
  • New Stunt
    Weird they find out that late. You’d think they’d have a clue when you start with “can i see bobbies n vagene pls?”.
    Aug 23 2
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Hahaha, I am just gonna take this as a joke.
      Aug 23
    • New Stunt
      Haha you’re a good sport, brother
      Aug 23
  • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
    Is all your dating sourced from dating apps?
    Aug 23 7
    • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
      Yes. You have more dates with low rate of success
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      I know lol . Sad life
      Aug 23
    • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
      Not at all. You’d have fewer dates with higher success if it wasn’t online. It’s a matter of preference which way you go. With online dating it’s the lack of pre dating information that causes failure. Whether it’s your place of birth or something else is just a red herring
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      I agree , its quite difficult to get an actual date in person ( atleast for me). But my point being that with american indian girls its always a red flag that i am indian. It does not have anything to do with how i get a date.
      Aug 23
    • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
      Green card
      Aug 23
  • ShipStation / Product EoqI41
    Speaking as an American born Indian, a lot of times there's a belief that Indian culture is pretty patriarchal and toxic to women. The American girls don't want to deal with that. They want to be able to pick the good parts about the Indian culture and not have to continue the bad parts. There's always the thought that you might be in it for the green card
    Aug 23 2
    • Oracle / Eng aham
      Well that's partly true considering even American born Indian men don't want to date women not born and raised here
      Aug 23
    • Walmart XQLb37
      So true. Agree
      Aug 23
  • BYTON ChwV35
    Well Indians especially the FOB’s have racial views. I have never seen an Indian guy hanging out with an African American girl......
    Aug 23 1
    • SAP tjjj
      Do African Americans follow all the same culture & traditions as their Caucasian counterparts? Do they have the same general set of values? Serious Qs.
      Aug 23
  • Epic Games OjgYfV
    Women complain all about not stereotyping them but they do that to others. American born Indians are racist. I know my niece in 1st grade was discriminated by an American born. She apparently told her white friends not to talk with my niece because she wasn’t born here. These people have lot of bias. But they preach others on how trump is bad. Remember this when u vote!!
    Aug 23 1
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Sorry your niece has to go through that
      Aug 23
  • Oracle djjdhbw
    They prefer white man too
    Aug 23 0
  • VMware yomanx
    Because they are actually culturally different. Same thing with Chinese. How many ABCs have you seen dating Chinese? They are very different people
    Aug 23 4
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Lol so it sounds like everyone should just date the same culture/religion/race . Bravo , kudos to this progressive thought
      Aug 23
    • VMware yomanx
      Not really but of course culture plays a big role in relationships. Each person has their own preferences regarding who they are attracted to, and culture plays a big role in that. Also not dating you only means she doesn’t want to date you, whatever the reasons are. That has nothing to do with discrimination.
      Aug 23
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Trust me I don't wna date people with such narrow view point of the world either. I am just having this discussion to learn more about this and to see if i am the only one who is facing this
      Aug 23
    • Facebook zlatan123
      No they're not.
      Aug 23
  • Airbnb kYFK02
    It’s because they know better than other races how bad Indian culture is, and everyone already dislikes indian culture
    Aug 24 2
    • PayPal anbuselvan
      It’s bad but not that bad.
      Aug 24
    • Amazon EsThree
      Compared to most races, Indian culture is great.
      Aug 24
  • Amazon EsThree
    They realize they are just a ticket to America for you
    Aug 23 0
  • Facebook zlatan123
    Indian Americans are a farce. Most of them try so hard to fit into groups full of white people. Their parents are the most Indian parents out there, and ban them from going out until junior/senior year of high school at the very least. There are negatives to going out with them as well. There are also negatives to dealing with their family if it comes to things like marriage.
    Aug 23 1
    • Amazon EsThree
      And what's wrong with that?
      Aug 24
  • Uber informnow
    Just date girls from “that kind of India” :)
    Aug 23 1
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      😂
      Aug 23
  • Twitter / Eng YuhYeet
    So just fucking date your own kind lol
    Aug 23 1
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      😂 back to the dark ages
      Aug 23
  • Facebook zlatan123
    Americans in general are racist people. Ever seen Asian-Americans even bother to make friends with people from their home country? Fuckkk no
    Aug 23 0
  • PayPal anbuselvan
    Yes. They look at you like a giant piece of trash. I have had numerous such experiences. Just be focused on your part of India. North vs South is a big deal too.
    Aug 24 1
    • Northwestern Mutual OUQN34
      OP
      Yes. And I honestly can't figure out why. Lol i know who i am as a person. And i am definitely not trash lol. But ya i guess
      Aug 26