Fellow Indians who went for an arranged marriage - please comment how many years has it been for you together, do you love your spouse, and how did love develop, if at all? Or is it more compatibility/respect that's still keeping you guys together more than love. I am trying to understand if love can actually be developed if you have a mutual respect and understanding.
It’s a tough question, getting married to someone who you don’t love is a bad gamble
Getting married to someone you do love is statistically also a bad gamble
Falling in love is not easy
The concept of an arranged marriage is fucking ridiculous. You wouldn't let your parents pick out your clothes, why would you let them pick out your spouse? I'm Indian myself btw.
Love between unrelated human beings is just a manufactured emotion. You can create it and work on it. It is transient. Else every love marriage would last a lifetime. So whatever type of marriage, if you have the willingness to manufacture this emotion and sustain it, you're good.
I think so too. Trying to understand the take of people who have been there.
I did not realize what love is until I had kids..the emotion the parents feel when the kid is sick even with simple things like cold etc is love.. you feel the emotion even before the baby is born and it does not take one years to build the emotion. Likewise one can have emotions immediately after marriage no need to live for years together before getting married. But I agree there are cases things might not have worked out in arraigned marriages but this is true in love marriages as well..
Actually arranged marriage is more gamble than love marriage.. mine is arranged and I’m lucky that we both have same interests and lifestyle. But I can see how so many things can go wrong with arranged marriages. In love marriage two fall in love when they have things in common like hobbies, way of thinking,lifestyle etc..so less chance of incompatibility??
If that was true, most love marriages would last a lifetime. But they don't. Arranged marriages are less of a gamble if you choose wisely.
What were the things you looked for when you were checking out arranged marriage prospects? It would help if you can provide specific pointers instead of vague/wide ones (like compatibility).
I am ok being called a loser/ugly. I am ok not equating love to sex. I am ok not following your 'simple' approach to marriage. Do you know why? Because it's my fucking life. And do you know what's not ok? Culture-shaming, which you just did.
If your culture is irrational and sucks then fix it we are in 2019 not in 1940.... I don’t understand why rational people becomes emotional when something relates to their culture.
Folks love is not science it’s an art!! Don’t try to debate love marriage or love after marriage, it like debating Picasso paining is better or Ravi Varna’s. Both are beautiful..
What? R u high as a kite?
No matter what you do Love / Arrange ... Buy a JD as you will be sleeping in living room after every fight
Why include parents in deciding who to marry? It just shows you are not mentally capable to make decisions on your own.
You are stressing on wrong point. End game is to be happy, be content with life, feel fulfilled, and have lived a meaningful life with friends and family with loved ones. Arranged marriage or love marriage is just means but not ends. Stats for love marriage is worse in achieving ends than arranged marriage so why not?
36 people and counting had arranged marriages?
Arranged marriages in India are more common than you think. Indeed, love marriage is a very recent concept in India.
Even in the 21st century with millennials in India?