(Inflammatory) Why do women feel entitled to be treated fairly for their life choices?

New oh1
Nov 1, 2018 21 Comments

Inflammatory topic! Only on blind!!

A recent blind post reminded me of this argument I have always seen. Usually it goes like the guys go out to drink, but I can't tag along because I don't drink and have to pick up my kids, so therefore tech sucks and I am being discriminated.

Here's my take
- Discriminating by genitalia when there is an objective measurement is not ok
- Discriminating by lifestyle choices that are correlated (but not caused by genitalia) is not ok

What does this means?

In the first situation, if the best person for team lead by all objective criteria - leadership, people skill, experience, technical skills... points to a woman. She gets the job. Your buddy who doesn't know how to reverse an array does not.

In the second situation, usually related to child rearing is not an excuse. In that after office hours example, it was YOUR choice to have a kid (I assume you were not raped or coereced) so you know it will come with consequences. So why do so many women feel so entitled when they know life style choices may impact their career negatively?

Yes we can argue women bear an unfair burden and workload for childrearing but that's a SOCIETAL problem not an issue related to a professional workplace. And you always have a way out don't have kids.

Then this usually leads to I have to compromise argument. Guess what? That's life!!! If I work 30hrs/wk I will likely not do as well as people who do 40hrs/wk. And if you have a kids, the probability that it will affect your career is going to be nonzero. You know the risk, you are adult, you make a choice then you live with it.

I'll give you a third scenario. I must my watch evening cartoons, so I can't hang out after hours. Why then am I not entitled to speak out that people are not treating me fairly? I give you a ridiculous examples, yes... But what makes my lifestyle choice less important than yours...?

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TOP 21 Comments
  • Salesforce rcno01
    Why do you care so much ?
    Nov 1, 2018 2
    • New oh1
      OP
      I don't. I just wanted to see if blind can have a rational objective discussion on this.
      Nov 1, 2018
    • LinkedIn / Eng
      Gill Bates

      LinkedIn Eng

      BIO
      [Insert epic sax here]
      Gill Batesmore
      It's doubtful you'll get a decent discussion on Blind about this, TBQH. I'd love to be proven wrong on this.
      Nov 1, 2018
  • I mildly agree but also think the concerns are overblown. Environmental concerns aside (which maybe should be the main question, idk), societies have a vested interest in encouraging people to procreate and then raise healthy functional humans. It’s more than just a purely personal choice. So for the same reason that I’m OK with funding public schools even though not every taxpayer have kids, I’m ok with workplaces making reasonable extra accommodations for parents.
    Nov 1, 2018 1
    • New oh1
      OP
      Ok... I can somewhat understand with for the greater societal good point of view, although I don't fully agree.

      I would be more inclined to agree if childrearing is a burden that nobody wants. So then way we find ways to compensate and make things fair for those with children. But most of the times, these families want children, it's something they opt into, not shoved into their faces.
      Nov 1, 2018
  • Amazon Tough life
    Anyone else feels like this post is too long to read.
    Nov 1, 2018 2
    • New oh1
      OP
      tldr. If you have children, be prepared for the negative consequences that it will have on your career, learn how to manage, life is never fair so stop complaining about every minute 'sexist' thing. If you don't want to deal with this, don't have kids, this is not the 19th century, women are not baby making machines.
      Nov 1, 2018
    • Fidelity Investments PvrtyGhost
      Yep. Saw that I had to scroll to read the OP, made an audible nope, scrolled right down to comments.
      Nov 1, 2018
  • The cant drink after work issue applies to the father too, not just the mother. Whoever thought that's only a problem for women is sexist.
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • Google alumnius
    Lay off the pipe.
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • Oath Moath
    Having children is not necessarily a “choice”. There are many people who would love to have children but cannot and vice-a-versa. Also, while perhaps as you describe a choice at the individual level, having children is not a choice at the macro-level. Children perpetuate the species and drive the economy. Why should a woman bear the full burden of her “choice”, which is not really a “choice”, since no fucking man is going to spawn a little brat out of their dickhole, while, as you state, this is a societal problem? Society presumes you are including both men and women. Seems like your way of dealing with it as a society is to say “sorry, it was your choice to reproduce as human biology intended and it is my choice to drink with my tech-bros and jerk off”. Pretty sure your viewpoint is because 1) you are not a parent, and 2) you are a douchbag.
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng nutboy39
    It’s easy to say “that’s a societal problem, not a professional workplace problem”.

    Ok, so let’s talk about the societal problem then. Shifting around definitions and playing semantics doesn’t change the fact that there’s a prickly problem underlying all of this - I’m not sure why you’re so eager to sweep it under the rug.
    Nov 1, 2018 2
    • New oh1
      OP
      I'm just saying women have a choice on whether or not to have kids.

      From that sense many gender complaints are lifestyle choices not inherrent things like your race (can't change that) or medical disability (didn't ask for that)
      Nov 1, 2018
    • Oracle / Eng ToniBraxtn
      I wish your mom had made that choice decades ago. You wouldn't be here saying all this nonsense.
      Nov 1, 2018
  • Amazon stories
    Hilarious and sad that this is directed specifically at women...of course, a man’s perspective. Dads don’t seem to face the same career pressures that Moms do for their “lifestyle choices”. Shame.
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • Google yODa40
    Aren’t you glad your mom sacrificed her career to have and care for you?
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • MapR Technologies v5gfrj6
    This is a Male dominated perspective... and narrative... you first have to accept that some of the 'choices' that you say a woman is making are not really choices the way you see them. Once you understand that maybe you will have a better appreciation for this perspective
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • Amazon Tough life
    I have a teenager and another in elementary. One of them has special needs. It’s all a collaborative effort. Again don’t mean to be rude but will read your post clearly and think and answer. The weight of the world is on my shoulders and work is just beginning now after my 1.4 hour commute.
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • Amazon KOHy81
    Why do men (such as yourself) see child rearing as a women’s duty? Why do men (such as yourself) feel that they can judge a women’s work participation when they refuse to split work at home thereby preventing women from progressing in their careers?

    Having a child almost NEVER has a “consequence” with men. In fact, men tend to be seen as a stronger leader. Do you think they are doing 50% of the work at home? Answer: no.

    It is an issue at the workplace when the same men who dont participate at home only want to acknowledge other men who don’t participate at home.
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • VMware / Product lRQQ72
    Op, you clearly have no fucking idea what is going on in the world. Do you know Italy has now a program that gives free farmland to families that will have a 3rd child?! The western world is having major issues with population getting old and dying....
    So we have laws to incentives companies to treat those that can reverse that that trend (women) in a way that would not discourage them..
    Nov 1, 2018 0
  • Infor RWjI10
    My husband and I switch off watching the kids after work. I have work events three nights next week and I know that he'll take care of stuff while I'm gone. Having kids is a choice and this was kind of a stupid post.
    Nov 1, 2018 0

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