Interracial dating: Indians vs. East Asians

Google GeeGee
Sep 10 65 Comments

I’m finding it hard to ignore the prevalence of WMAF (white-male, asian-female) couples in the Bay Area. It is dominated by East Asian, sometimes Southeast Asian females. Indians seem to stay within their culture. I myself am East Asian so I can come up with theories as to why this happens for us, but I don’t know Indian culture enough to understand why Indians still stay within race - in particular why we don’t see more white male indian female couples. I’d love to hear others’ thoughts on this, especially Indian peoples’ thoughts!

Serious responses only please, as this is a serious question.

TC 450K

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TOP 65 Comments
  • Cadence / Eng
    pretzle

    Cadence Eng

    PRE
    Intel Corporation
    pretzlemore
    I am Indian (F), don't want to date an Indian, family is fine too! Sadly I can't find anyone. I do envy the asian chicks!
    Sep 10 11
    • Cadence / Eng
      pretzle

      Cadence Eng

      PRE
      Intel Corporation
      pretzlemore
      @intel - no distaste; I can concur there are some good ones.
      Sep 10
    • NVIDIA / Product coolpm
      Hey, you said you don’t prefer Indian men and envy Asian girls which led me to conclude that you didn’t get any white men - not judgmental at all, just based on what you said 🤷🏻‍♂️
      Sep 10
    • Cadence / Eng
      pretzle

      Cadence Eng

      PRE
      Intel Corporation
      pretzlemore
      You are justifying why you called me Ugly?
      Tells a lot about you!
      Sep 10
    • Oracle
      not_larry

      Oracle

      PRE
      Amazon
      not_larrymore
      So Cadence, rate yourself on scale of 1-10.
      Sep 10
    • Microsoft Fakir
      ^ hahahaha
      6d
  • Facebook rYhu00
    Cause chicks only dig white guys.
    Sep 10 4
    • NVIDIA / Product coolpm
      This is the real reason, all the excuses like culture, parents, caste, etc are just BS.
      Sep 10
    • Airbnb iAmFriski
      What this really means is that white guys are high on the dating totem pole.
      Sep 10
    • Google GeeGee
      OP
      So...why don’t Indian girls date white guys?
      Sep 10
    • Facebook rYhu00
      I have a lot of female Indian friends dating white men, not a single guy dating a girl that's non Indian.

      I don't have any problems with parents, but I think it's really hard to date girls in the Bay. I have another theory about the negative stereotypes for Indian men keeping the girls away.
      7d
  • Airbnb iAmFriski
    It’s obvious isn’t it?

    From the Asian side:

    White guys are considered an upgrade for Asian girls and families. For example, many white men have told me the Asian families love them. To be associated with whiteness is good, as is normal in our society. (Not hating, it’s just the way it is). And there’s definitely an element of girls thinking dating white guys means they’re Americanized. (This affects many races)

    Indian families don’t really fall for that. Well to be honest, I think many other Asian cultures are not that fascinated with whiteness, but I might be wrong.

    From the white guy’s side:

    There’s definitely some yellow fever going on. And, Asian girls (as a group) probably have the most amount of white girl features that are considered attractive. And of course, white men generally actively participate in the dating scene, so they get into more relationships.

    In my experience, a 7/10 white girl will at least go on a date with you if you’re decent. But the standards are much higher for Asian girls if you’re not white or Asian.

    And of course, Indian men are near the bottom of the dating hierarchy, so there’s that.

    Like if you agree.
    Sep 10 8
    • Airbnb iAmFriski
      @GeeGee I’m Indian. Married to a white female.
      Sep 10
    • Cruise Automation / Eng ⛸️
      Dislike for disagree.

      I'm an Asian woman and white guys are considered a downgrade among my family. No one in my family has dated white.
      7d
    • Google GeeGee
      OP
      @Cruise that’s interesting...what kind of Asian are you specifically? How has your family expressed that it’s a downgrade? And do you think your family is unusual in that way?
      7d
    • NBCUniversal melong
      I'm a Korean female and my family wants me to date a Korean guy. My bf is white and my family is not super stoked about it. But when I dated a Hispanic guy, they were more upset. so now I think they're taking my white bf as "at least he's not hispanic"

      I think the same goes for a lot of asian family. They start preferring their own ethnicity (not even race. My family did not like my chinese bf).
      Yes, my family is racist and it's because they're not used to living with multiple races (most of they're still in Korea)

      But as they're getting more open to America, white becomes the most accepted race because they're what's on the media.
      Indian people I think still has strong preference to their own probably derived from their long history, pride and they value their family's opinion more strongly than others in general. Also, they've prob gone through more rejections in dating pool which makes them even more hesitant to go outside of their race. East Asian girls benefit from all kinds of media exposure that started with wrong stereotypes and now is fixing itself.

      So that's my guess on asian girls liking white men and indian people dating only each other.

      I do wonder how there are so many white male/ asian female couple though. I think it's beyond my observations listed here to make it one of the phenomenon
      7d
    • Cruise Automation / Eng ⛸️
      I'm Chinese.
      We are implicitly encouraged to date Asian. My sister's bf is Filipino and at first they were hesitant but they've really warmed up to him.

      They subtly expressed disapproval with my cousin's bf (who is Brazilian) and with my white uncle who married my aunt - she only gave in because they said he stalked her and bought her flowers every day until she gave up and gave in - and how dysfunctional their family is today (they eat and watch different things and have like no overlapping interests).

      My sister and I have not dated white.
      7d
  • Google blindv
    Most Idian parents are not accepting of their children dating outside of their race. Heck, even dating outside your own caste is heavily frowned upon. For a lot of Indians, dating someone from a different country (or even caste) means permanently damaging their relationship with their parents. That is one of the main reasons.
    Sep 10 0
  • Oracle
    not_larry

    Oracle

    PRE
    Amazon
    not_larrymore
    GTFO or TC.

    (Answer is Mummy Pappa)
    Sep 10 0
  • Microsoft tpqv04
    Putting whiteness on a pedestal is definitely a thing. East Asian and Indian societies are sadly also obsessed with whiter skin colors. Many 'liberal' Indian chicks also fancy dating white guys and stigmatize their own kind in their mind. Many Indian girls suddenly start finding Indian guys annoying when they move here. Again, not all but many.

    I see lots of smart, in shape brown ABCD dudes struggling in the dating market. If you're fresh off the boat - that's even worse. Ugly ass white dudes fare better than decent looking asian men.

    Internalized racism is real folks. If the society was actually color blind, you would see as many white women dating non-white men as you see white men dating non-white women. For anyone who isn't aware, please go read OK Cupid's founder Christian Rudder's book dataclysm where he clearly reveals real data from dating apps that show that Asian men are being penalized for being Asian.

    Anyone can be attracted to anyone, that's fine. Asian girls should just be upfront about the fact that race and skin color play an important role in what they're attracted to, in addition to height and earning potential, etc.
    Sep 10 4
    • Oracle / Eng aham
      As if Indian men don't want to date non Indian folks. What are you smoking

      Most Indian men not living in India don't want to date Indian women
      Sep 10
    • Microsoft tpqv04
      That's not true. Any Indian guy will be happy to date an Indian girl who is even somewhat attractive and has a decent personality. The bar is not super high. But of course the gender ratio is fucked against dudes in the tech cities.
      Sep 10
    • Databricks strongrand
      As an out of shape & slightly balding India-raised man in the bay area, I have never felt this. No offense intended, but maybe it's you.
      Sep 10
    • Microsoft tpqv04
      Never felt what? Care to elaborate about your experiences please?
      Sep 10
  • Google GfTq22
    Serial Asian dater here. I’m also part Asian, 25%. White girls tend to be fat, look old quickly, and the fit ones seem to steer towards square jawed beef cake white guys. Asian girls are a similar build to me, and value things I bring to the table.

    I married a Filipina and then we broke up and I dated a bunch of other Asians, and am now back with the wife. We had our cultural problems but over time she became more American and I became more Filipino, so now we are cool.
    Sep 10 4
    • Granicus Eurus
      Nice man. Congrats on the re-ignited relationship. Was the time away from one another helpful in becoming more fitting people for each other?
      Sep 10
    • NBCUniversal melong
      This is it I think. It's not just white men/asian girls combination. it's a certain type of white men who get attracted to asian girls. yes, there's a yellow fever factor but i think they're attracted to asian girls' softer and feminine side than white girls. I'm not talking about submissiveness. Hate to admit but asian girls tend to be a little more dependent (not financially but emotionally) making them more intimate? My bf has mentioned something along the line.
      7d
    • eBay maybeno
      “White girls tend to be fat”, I would say Asian girls look malnourished
      7d
    • Google GfTq22
      @eurus I think so. She is very traditional and feminine, but certainly not passive/submissive. IMO Asian female passivity stereotypes tend to be promoted by people that don’t really know much about Asian women.
      7d
  • For most Asians and their families, dating a white guy is some sort of an "achievement". For Indians, they don't care about that. Historically, Indians have not idolized the white race or culture, and a fine example of that is Bollywood. While most of Asia heavily consumes Hollywood movies and English music, India doesn't despite having more English speakers than all other Asian countries.
    Sep 10 2
    • F5 Networks RRA
      No. Indians are just obsessed with fairness and complexion...
      Sep 10
    • eBay maybeno
      Obsessed with fairness but not white race people
      7d
  • Oracle / Eng aham
    Some Indians are vegetarian and prefer partner with same preference (not all). Also, there is a myth or general observation that Western society has more divorces and hence no stability.

    Many Indians are very close to their family and are skeptical if their parents will be open to a non Indian partner. There might be many other reasons!
    Sep 10 0
  • Salesforce carrom32
    Food habits - vegetarian ☘️
    Sep 10 0
  • Google toofani
    I am dating outside my race. Parents have no clue, so I would say parental pressure
    Sep 10 6
    • New / Creative
      kokinaddic

      New Creative

      PRE
      Netflix
      kokinaddicmore
      Username checks out
      Sep 10
    • Roku cruella
      Stop with the redditization of blind
      Sep 10
    • New / Creative
      kokinaddic

      New Creative

      PRE
      Netflix
      kokinaddicmore
      Stop me ! I dare you
      Sep 10
    • Roku cruella
      I wouldn't dare
      Sep 10
    • Uber yammmm
      Help us out Bobby B!
      7d
  • Uber gRtV35
    If purely on looks, Asian girls typically will not want to date anyone darker skin, and usually Indian guys are too dark on the pigment scale.
    Sep 10 2
    • Microsoft tpqv04
      This. Colorist societies. That's true for Indian girls also. The fairer you are the better.
      Sep 10
    • New / Creative
      kokinaddic

      New Creative

      PRE
      Netflix
      kokinaddicmore
      Unless you are black ...down under
      7d
  • Facebook el_idolo1
    I've gotta be honest, as a white dude who has dated mostly Asian women, I just take what I can get (given they hit my standards which women of all races can hit).

    I'm not exclusively wanting them, in fact it's boring, but I seriously can't pull white women as easily as Asian women. What's going on here? It's weird to me, everyone says I have yellow fever but really I'm trying to consciously not go for Asian women when given the chance.
    Sep 10 1
    • NBCUniversal melong
      asian girls were raised with more "women have to be nice" brain wash than white girls. White girls put what they want before their politeness. Asian girls often have troubles rejecting so go with the ask outs. But that opens more doors for them in dating pool so here's that.
      7d
  • I encourage folks to give this podcast episode a listen:

    https://www.npr.org/2019/04/04/709948132/a-very-offensive-rom-com
    Sep 10 0
  • Instacart uMNH60
    To answer your question. People probably find Asian girls more attractive than Indian
    7d 0
  • MathWorks / Eng pkfs
    TC or GTFO
    Sep 10 0
  • Roku cruella
    I am curious to hear your theory. I am dumbfounded
    Sep 10 0
  • Google aoepqlsnsl
    I don't think Indians are not interested in Asians. It's just that there are very few opportunities to interact with Asian girls. I for sure (Indian,M) would love to date an Asian but it's relatively harder compared to meeting an Indian F.

    Not sure if Asian F are interested in Indian M too (it has to be two, right?)

    Big reason why you see Indian couples is because you have more opportunities to meet Indians through local networks than meeting Americans or Asians. If you are an Indian raised on US, your chances for interracial relationships are higher.
    Sep 10 2
    • Google GeeGee
      OP
      Hmm I think I was more curious about why we don’t see more white male indian female couples. But what do you mean by more opportunities through local networks? There are a lot of Asians in the Bay Area too - do Indians do something special to mingle more?
      Sep 10
    • Google aoepqlsnsl
      By local networks I meant if you go to your friends party, they may have more Indians than folks from other countries. If you attend some social event like a festival party, more chances to meet folks from your country then any other place. Same thing applies to anyone from any country
      6d
  • Broadcom Ltd. ali_mama
    Guys, you are not getting it.
    Black > All
    Sep 10 1
    • Microsoft tpqv04
      Only if you're from the black culture, there's a difference dude. Atheletes and rappers get all the pussay
      Sep 10
  • Walmart pingpongl4
    TC?
    Sep 10 0