Is asking for exclusivity considered needy?
I asked a women I’m dating (not married to) if we could be exclusive and she said she didn’t want to be tied down to anyone. Is the fact that I brought it up needy? What is the balance and is exclusivity a deal breaker if it’s important to me? Update: I got dumped.
Before marriage or after?
Before
I find it strange that this needs to be even asked..
| she didn’t want to be tied down to anyone Lol she’s getting that D bud.. id get myself tested. Yesterday.
Hahahaha thank you!
Why is thar a problem? You obviously don’t want an open relationship and neither do I. I don’t understand why some people prefer open relationship but that’s none of my business. Anyway, that is not needy. It’s a preference. My two cents - don’t date her.
Thank you!
Dude, you’re the other guy in her other relationship
This plot twist
Next time, "I really like what we have going, we can keep it the same if that's what you want or ramp it up to the next level. I say this because I've a few other women who have expressed interest in me and I don't play games and like to keep things clear." This is like negotiating TC, everyone is more interested in you when you have competing TCs. If you had dropped hints that you were desired by other women she would most likely be more into you. Next time, date other women, cancel dates, make yourself a prize. Btw, ignore those saying you're the other guy. You can still come out on top. Have other friends outside of her. Have a social life, go out on other dates and have fun, don't always be available especially when she really wants you to. But when you are give her your undivided attention.
Good advice
“You can still come out on top.” Why should OP fight for someone who doesn’t want to be exclusive? OP has an option to find someone who finds OP a great catch and doesn’t need to be won over or convinced. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Depends on how soon you asked her. If you guys have been dating for a few months and spending a decent amount of time together, then it’s not needy. If she still doesn’t want to be exclusive, chances are she isn’t sure about you and wants to keep her options open. Either you should do the same and not be too involved or move on.
Thank you!
Are you okay with being non exclusive? So far it just seems as a matter of personal preference. I prefer to be exclusive from the first date. As for the fear to seem needy: if one is needy it's sensible from very small details. And all it means is that two of you are not sharing same level of interest in each other and feel different amount of influence in this relationship, doesn't matter if it's a friendship or a romantic one.
Thank you! I appreciate your advice.
My wife and I chose to be exclusive after about a month of dating. We both wanted commitment and were willing to do what we could to make things work for the long haul. It’s not about neediness; it’s about whether you found the right person and want to double down on what you have. It’s all in your delivery; it can come across as needy but it needn’t be so.
Thank you!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you're probably equally bad at other forms of negotiation You essentially threw out all your cards on the table without any leverage. You handed over the little negotiating power that you had and she now controls your destiny. Enjoy that leash 😂😂😂
Thank you!
Why would you want to be tied down? Women flee clingy guys like the plague. She’s giving you the freedom to explore your options. If I were you I’d take it.
Lol as if asking to be exclusive is clingy. Stop projecting your attachment issues. As far as OP, if you aren't on the same page, move on.
@tenzena Thank you! Good to hear another point of view, which is different from my own.