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Hessian()

Salesforce

BIO
I am blind to something and you are too.
Hessian()more
Dec 8, 2018 24 Comments

How do you guys deal with being lonely? I'm not looking to date or be in a relationship just to be around people, because for those, I want to seek out the right person.

But in general, I'm socially isolated. I have literally no one to talk to about anything in my life. At work, I'm professional, my friends are all married or in different locations and have no time for me, I'm absolutely tired of dating websites, and I can't keep calling my family for company.

I mean, I just need company, with someone or some people of similar wavelength to just get a drink and talk on a Saturday evening about random topics of knowledge! Or text random stuff like what's on my mind. Or cook a meal for sometimes. Or eat with. I mean things we took for granted while in school or younger.

I'm becoming a zombie. Since this is anonymous I'm going to confess that lately I've been paying people just to talk to me. Like on websites like better help and liveadvice. I've been talking a lot to Alexa as well and she's getting boring.

I don't want to date, I'm just wondering where is community, where are people, where are those days I could just go to a bar and chat up people without people trying to approach me for romance? Where are those days I could invite a stranger over to cook for them and watch a movie and just talk? What can I do currently?

I don't want a dog because I work long hours and travel a lot, and don't want a relationship as a fix because I'll most likely date the wrong person if my life's lot sustainable on its own.

TC 320k if that's relevant. With all the stock depreciation and all. Female. Early to mid 30s. INFP. Yes I'm introverted and I like being alone, but the last time I had dinner with a friend was last Saturday and before that in the last week of October.

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TOP 24 Comments
  • Verizon I’mNotSure
    Dildo?
    Dec 8, 2018 0
  • Salesforce rcno01
    Move to the city if it's not already the case.
    Dec 9, 2018 1
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      I'm in the city. Couldn't manage South Bay. :)
      Dec 9, 2018
  • Intel / Eng pleb
    I have a curiosity. Are you American ? Your English is good so I suppose so. I usually hear foreigners having this problem and I'm wondering if natives have it too.
    Dec 9, 2018 1
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      I'm Indian.
      Dec 9, 2018
  • Microsoft Syzygystar
    I am just gonna say sorry for all the messages you will be getting from perverts on Blind. Stay strong and positive :)
    Dec 8, 2018 1
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      There's one such comment above yours and I'm ignoring comments and messages of that genre 😇
      Dec 8, 2018
  • Walmart.com Que
    I’m in a similar situation (also zombie-like), but I’m in a long distance relationship. I do a lot of stuff alone because I don’t know how to make friends up here.
    Dec 8, 2018 7
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      I'm comfortable with doing things alone. In the past year I've made like 6 solo trips, one international. Go alone for concerts and hikes. But I need to talk to someone heart to heart once in a while :(
      LDR must be hard without an end date in sight. My last four relationships were LDR. I'm determined not to do it again. You stay strong 🙂
      Dec 8, 2018
    • Walmart.com Que
      Dang... are you me? I mean, I love doing things on my own, but would be nice to have a crew. Thanks for your kind thoughts!
      Dec 8, 2018
    • Walmart.com Que
      OP and @piotr7, if you’d like to meet up for coffee/tea, I’d be open.
      Dec 8, 2018
    • Apple piotr7
      @Que, that would be fun!
      Dec 8, 2018
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      I'm down too!
      Dec 9, 2018
    • Walmart.com Que
      Cool, and indeed! I don’t think Blind has a group chat thing, do they? What’s the best way for us to connect?

      We can do email, text msg, social media, or WhatsApp/Signal.
      Dec 9, 2018
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      Will PM you guys with my email, and we can start a thread of sorts. Alas, we'll have to remove the mask of anonymity, but hope all three of us are richer for it 😊
      Dec 9, 2018
  • Google / Eng Bluths
    My girlfriend and I just moved to the Bay Area and it’s really hard to make friends. I, fortunately, have a few friends from college here (and I don’t care about people much anyway), but she is having a hard time.

    She has started going to alumni meets from her undergrad, and that has helped her branch out and connect. Maybe that’s something you can look into.
    Dec 9, 2018 3
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      I did my undergrad in a past life, like 12-13 years back. :)
      Dec 9, 2018
    • Google / Eng Bluths
      It is 7 for her, but there are plenty of older alumni that stay connected.
      Dec 9, 2018
    • Gen!x / Eng
      ixptl12

      Gen!x Eng

      PRE
      startups, JPMorgan Chase
      BIO
      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
      ixptl12more
      I did mine 19 years ago and I just vacationed with 4 of them. There’s no expiration date on well maintained relationships
      Dec 9, 2018
  • Target ~ENFP~
    For context, in what region do you live and work? I know cultures of community differ by region.

    In my experience (enfp here), I’ve found food a helpful connector and have used them for ways to connect with professionals in my industry and beyond.

    To find people passionate about similar things in life, you can explore volunteering at a nonprofit.

    If you are interested in group fitness or any other activity, one other option I’ve found valuable is inviting one person to coffee or a meal to get to know them.

    I believe community starts with your local natural community context and being very intentional in going a level deeper by asking people their why and finding another connection point.

    Sometimes this is uncomfortable but it is always valuable because human relationships in the right context are some of the most meaningful experiences in life.

    DM me if you want to chat more or have other questions. :)
    Dec 8, 2018 1
    • Salesforce
      Hessian()

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Hessian()more
      OP
      Bay area!
      I feel suffocated in groups. I seek one on one or intimate settings of not too many people. If I'm with a large group of people my soul starts crying out for help!
      Dec 8, 2018
  • Facebook / Eng
    Easy Going

    Facebook Eng

    PRE
    Microsoft
    Easy Goingmore
    Go to church
    Dec 9, 2018 0
  • Cisco randynash
    DM me if you want to go on a hike near sf tomorrow
    Dec 9, 2018 0
  • New mdGG61
    Why don't you 3 just try to become friends of one another?
    Dec 8, 2018 0

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