Leave husband or stay in relationship?

Intel FNiy40
Sep 13, 2018 503 Comments

It's been 5 years to my marriage. We dated very shortly and got married. After marriage I saw a completely new man than he was before marriage. Meaning, less respectful, more authoritative as in I am his property, taking me for granted. I try to fix things by talking about it when everything calm down and by avoiding fights wherever I can(because I truly love him). Fast forward 3 years, I caught him sexting with his ex. Then I dig deeper, I found he is still in touch with her all 3 years even while we were together. I moved to my parents house and ask for divorce. He don't want to. He along with his whole family apologized for his deeds and ask me to come back.
Seeing him crying and apologizing, I forgive and moved back. Then I got pregnant gave birth to a son. All going great. No complains. He has a desk job and , spent NOT even a single night outside. I thought he truly changed after accepting his mistake.
Now our son is 2 years old, just an hour before I found accidentally he is still in touch (exchanged flirtatious message ) with her. I am in tears, not sure what to do. He is great father and now doing well as a husband too. But not able to understand why he is still in touch with her ex, exchanging such messages.

Please advice, my mind is not working. I am not sure what I should do.

Update1: I am really thankful for all the support and suggestions 🙏🏻

Update2: some people saying marriage is not slavery and should be allowed to do what he is doing. Just want to tell you that I am pretty open and easy to talk to person. I told him many times and in many ways my expectations (that I won't accept such behavior). I just want from him is clarity. Either let me go, or do what you promise. Just don't lie.

Update3: reason for posting here is: 1)I was in pain, and have seen many wonderful people here, giving great advices to people in their tough time (except few noise and anomalies); 2) wanted to gain a perspective esp from men- why anyone do that. If you have a wife who loves and care for you. Still, What makes you do that? Divorce is tough, so trying to understand from others perspective, to get insight whether it is really needed.

Update4: Please do NOT comment anymore. Seems like folks are not able to unsubscribe from this thread and it is spamming everyone who come forward to help with their suggestion/advice. I again thanks everybody for sharing their point of view.

Update5: After some discussion with my husband, I decided to move on. I along with my son are living separate now. I won't able to provide much details on it, atleast for now. So kindly do not ask.

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TOP 503 Comments
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Intel FNiy40
      OP
      Nothing. I was feeling helpless and alone, so posted here for help. This is my first ever post, so may be that's why blind asked for tags. I tagged all other than my own company.
      Sep 13, 2018
    • Northrop Grumman iCallBS
      Lol
      Sep 13, 2018
    • Microsoft / Mgmt ⚾️ has
      You missed microsoft :(
      Sep 13, 2018
    • Intel FNiy40
      OP
      Because only 3 allowed
      Sep 13, 2018
    • Google / Eng
      L4 / Eng

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Symantec
      BIO
      L4 Eng
      L4 / Engmore
      I guess we can Google a good lawyer, buy chocolates from Amazon, and get an old friend to keep you company on Facebook.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng onMyWay
      Give this man a raise^
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Uber / Eng oOBb03
    Consider a throuple relationship.

    Problem solved.

    If she's nice, maybe you and she can get along.

    Also, I know a throuple relationship that a woman used to get out from her man. She set him up with another woman. They all were in a relationship together, then she bowed out.

    But you don't even need to bow out. Three is better than two sometimes.
    Sep 13, 2018 11
    • Apple / Eng
      Mea+Ba11s

      Apple Eng

      PRE
      Apple
      Mea+Ba11smore
      Nope, he’s (i doubt it’s a she) from Uber.
      Sep 13, 2018
    • LinkedIn tLnQ54
      How is this stupid? I know a few people in this arrangement. The wife made it clear to her husband she does not like sex and would like to only have sex once a month. Husband wanted to have sex more frequently so he told the wife if you're not willing to give it up at the frequency I want then I'm going to go out and find it. She gave him perimission to do so. That is the sign of a good wife IMO.

      You can easily read the stories here on Blind of sex starved marriages usually with the wife not willing to put out. Its bullcrap. If that was the case they should have never gotten married.

      Its not stupid. If your arrangement works, great. But don't judge others. Relationships are not one-size-fits all.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • New / Eng
      Xhsrvhyds

      New Eng

      PRE
      McGraw-Hill Education
      Xhsrvhydsmore
      The word throuple makes me want to vomit. Not because of what it means. Just a terrible word lol
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Amazon hsl44428q
      Nobody is saying there's anything wrong with the idea, suggesting you start a relationship based on a lie is the issue. That's stupid.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Uber / Eng oOBb03
      Where's the lie part? I don't think anybody lied. I suggested the first woman used the situation, once established, to get out. I believe she was honestly going to stick around at first. They were in SCA. That stuff is common in the Society for Creative Anachronism.

      I don't do throupling myself. Been a couple for almost two decades. But it's a possibility to consider.

      My partner told me they didn't care if I did something with somebody else so long as I used protection. That never happened, as I had no desire for anybody else. And they never had a desire either.

      I just find relationships are best when based on openness and honesty, where people see that each other are happy, despite cultural norms.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Amazon
      UbDR20

      Amazon

      PRE
      USAA
      UbDR20more
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft pusshat495
      Not all rides in life are improved by Uber's Express Pool.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng onMyWay
      Liberalism is a mental disorder
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Google Easy704
      @pusshat495 best response ever!
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft AndyBates
      Don't claim until you've a prototype
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Microsoft Kaeop
    I think you should really go talk to a reputed couples therapist and seek advice. Please don’t follow stupid random suggestions from this forums. I know you are in pain but life is complicated. People are complicated. Don’t throw away a relationship (and a child’s future) by just quiting. Show him tough love. How awesome and independent you are through tough situations. He should see that. Ask him if he really wants to invest in your relationship he should go through couples therapy with you.
    Relationships change if both of you engage with therapist live and he sees your side of things.
    Find a good therapist who can spend time. All the best.
    Sep 13, 2018 7
    • No child's future is destroyed. The whole west has grown up with parents divorcing being a pretty normal phenomenon. Asian cultures, particularly in the Indian subcontinent, have put up with bullshit far too often and far too long. This psychotic mentality of winning back your love and staying in toxic relationships belongs to stupid Indian films that have utterly messed with people's minds. Women, especially, are the ones on the receiving end in these cultures. The asshole of a husband will cheat again and OP will once again find it even harder to leave. Folks need to grow up and understand that it's not cool to cheat just because you can.
      Sep 13, 2018
    • Microsoft / Mgmt ⚾️ has
      I agree - this person needs therapy or atleast needs to feel the pain you are feeling
      Sep 13, 2018
    • Intel FNiy40
      OP
      Thank you for this comment, @sonde3.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Amazon amaman
      Cant agree more with sonde3’s comment. Ppl dont change. Move on
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Apple / Eng
      Sjvv

      Apple Eng

      PRE
      Intuit
      BIO
      Engineering, devops,AI,database
      Sjvvmore
      Don’t move on , you just need realize what he is doing wrong . No one is Bay Area or most of USA are very serious for marriage and just do time pass , you need to give me some more care and trust
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Apple TXfr63
      I agree with sonde here but a BIG assumption is he is Cheating. I’m not sure if exchanging a text with ex can be construed as cheating. You have not heard his side of the story. So please don’t make any rash decisions and throw away what you have (apart from what you found in last hour, apparently you are happy with how things are)
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft Kaeop
      I’m not saying you should stay in an abusive relationship. I’m saying give it a really really good chance before you think of divorce. He should put in 10 times more hard work to win you back. If that doesn’t happen then yeah sure you can separate ways. People bring up divorce as the first option these days it’s kinda sad.
      Sep 17, 2018
  • Intel FNiy40
    OP
    It is not friendly flirting.

    Sharing old videos together saying still miss those days everyday. Sharing hardcore porn links and sharing desire to be in that with her.

    All I always told him and expect from him is - to be clear. Do not keep me hanging. If you really like her, say so, I will get out of picture. If you want to be with me, don't lie and play hide and seek games. It is matter of trust and bond.
    Sep 14, 2018 6
    • Amazon / Eng Am A Bot
      You are more understanding than most wives would be under the circumstances. He needs to just make up his mind as to what he wants—that’s all you’re asking of him.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Intel FNiy40
      OP
      Yes, exactly. Don't keep me hanging. That's all I want.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng Am A Bot
      Honestly I would give him a deadline. And if he doesn’t choose—you will. It’s not fair to leave you in limbo like this.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Salesforce / Eng
      AeIq03

      Salesforce Eng

      PRE
      Tata Consultancy Services
      BIO
      Lead software engineer at Salesforce
      AeIq03more
      Appreciate you and you are mature enough to handle him.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Facebook / Eng Bootcampe
      Leave him. I understand it might be a difficult decision considering ur son, but it’s not worth ruining ur life completely for that. U can make sure to be a better parent to ur son in several other ways. When he grows up, he will understand why u decided what u decided and will not expect that u shud have stayed in a broken relationship just for him.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • LeanTaaS desi-giri
      Sorry but looks like he is taking your for granted...there is nothing like keep you hanging....you are having false hopes...

      Just get a good lawyer and file for divorce...make sure to have some proof of those text etc....
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Amazon / Mgmt good_bad
    You are female, the courts are completely in your favor. Divorce him and get as much money out of him as you can. Make him your slave for the rest of his life. The family courts will do that for you.
    Sep 15, 2018 7
    • Amazon Enkel
      ^ This is why I have no plans to get married. Marriage is entirely of benefit to a woman, and of no benefit to a man.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Google Romyy
      Good-bad - This is most ridiculous comment I have seen. This kind of mentality is breaking the marriages and putting most of men keeping on emotional abuse in marriages.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon / Mgmt good_bad
      It's not ridiculous, it's real life. Think about it. The OP has an opportunity to:
      * get full custody of the kid
      * help herself to over half his assets and future income
      * date / sleep with whoever the hell she wants
      * have the public view her husband forever as a piece of shit scumbag and her as a poor damsel in distress

      Just keeping it real. There is a reason why 80% of divorces are initiated by women, and it's not because men cheat more or are worse partners or parents or anything like that. Divorce is bad for men, but can be very viable, in fact, even a pretty sweet deal, for women. I'm just saying the OP has a great opportunity to take advantage of that and she should.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Yahoo a-frame
      Wow, MGMT, you’re world view is so distorted.

      It’s nuts to think being a single working mother in Silicon Valley is “a pretty sweet deal” and “a great opportunity”.

      Certainly it’s fun to sleep with all the men who are looking for mothers with small children, on the one night a month when you can arrange a baby sitter in your hectic single parent full custody schedule.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Yahoo a-frame
      Also “help herself to over half his assets and future income”

      Half “his” assets? In a marriage, it’s “their” assets. You’re assuming this guy is in tech and has higher TC than she does. Nowhere does it say either of those. SHE is the one at Intel. She would be taking half HER assets from THEIR marital assets. If she takes the child, yes he has to pay more... because kids are fucking expensive.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Deloitte uAag27
      Mgmt forgot that the assets that will be halved are the couple’s assets (anything acquired after the marriage), not his or hers. If OP works, there is good chance that she will be the one losing money. Regarding alimony, if she works, it will be low, so stop giving greedy advice to hurt people even more. OP should just cut the losses and move on.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Google Romyy
      What about breaking the whole life for herself and kid? Are you even thinking about the impact on poor kid, due to greed factor here? You are ready to spoil a kids whole life, because u can make some money out there? What about the struggles, single mother life for rest of life, just u can sleep around with more men? If sex was only motivator, what was the need to marry? U can always sleep around daily with a new man, no responsibilities and enjoy ur life, if u prefer that way..What kind of men will be interested to sleep around, her life will go total mess if she follows ur advice..
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Microsoft baaaaallls
    Why would you ask for this type of advice on a forum with a bunch of socially inept engineers?????? 😕
    Sep 13, 2018 3
    • Salesforce IceCreme
      May be because her husband is an engineer.
      Sep 13, 2018
    • Apple kNhN24
      I’m sorry but that’s one hell of a stereotype...
      Sep 15, 2018
    • A10 Networks / Sales
      Thundar

      A10 Networks Sales

      PRE
      F5 Networks, Oracle, Vertafore
      BIO
      I yam who I yam - Popeye
      Thundarmore
      Obligatory TC or GTFO post.
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Sorry to hear about it. Reconciliation is useless. You tried it. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Divorce the asshole and make him suffer paying you alimony. Call a lawyer, really. Nobody deserves this.
    Sep 13, 2018 0
  • New / Eng hrme
    Women have been in this position for millenia. It has been recent phenomena that men are expexted to be monogamous. Just accept him as he is as long as he is there for you and your kid. We are not meant to be monogamous although the media and religion would like us to believe that.
    Sep 15, 2018 6
    • TD Ameritrade / IT hexs
      If you don’t want to be monogamous, don’t enter a monogamous relationship.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon tfswj
      Rulers for centuries for society stableness purpose had made us believe that relationship is forever ever monogamous. And we have believed so, for years -- confusing it with romance. So this lady is betrayed, based upon her belief. Asking her to accept is not possible, she as many others are taught about a monogamous world.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Microsoft M$FT🥜
      Most men at least are wired to be polygamous. Once you factor that in your options become clearer
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Google / Eng YLKQ60
      +1
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Netflix / Eng LWFX53
      Can you believe these self apologists?
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Microsoft / Eng !QWERTY
      🙄 it’s not her problem if her dick of a husband is unable to stay monogamous. There’s like millions of men successful at being monogamous and happy in their marriages. So, really stop asking others to put up with your bullshit and monogamy is hard don’t enter into a monogamous relationship.
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Uber / Other PiGVomit
    Are you Asian? Is your husband Asian?
    Sep 15, 2018 9
    • Microsoft UMbR31
      Guessing both are Indian
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Tesla / Other qfczDfc
      Mostly likely. “Family”
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Google Gary page
      Hehe. Also probably just smileys on chat bring construed as flirting then??
      Sep 15, 2018
    • IBM / Mktg pxDx83
      Seems like it. That’s how the post reads
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Symantec / Product bosspm
      How does it matter and how do you assume?
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft Wahh28
      How can she slap?!
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon tfswj
      What? Which post indicated "Family"?
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Netflix / Eng LWFX53
      This is not necessary
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng bmfartz
      There's that Uber mentality
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Google Not_John_M
    Let that mango
    Sep 15, 2018 6
    • Capital One / Eng desu
      I wish there was a downvote button.
      Your post is the pinnacle of reddit shitposting.
      This is not the time or place for your shitty pun.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon sde-iii
      I wish there were an eye roll emoji for when commenters get melodramatic about mangos 🙄
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Capital One / Eng desu
      I wish you understood how moronic and frustrating these stupid puns are.
      You're contributing ZERO value to a topic that is very stressful for the OP.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Chase bcEO41
      Humor heals.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Capital One / Eng desu
      I like your "humor heals" comment. I can agree with that. I still don't think a shit pun is appropriate here
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon tfswj
      I like this post. Better than saying 5 sentences and then conclude the same thing
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Google BBOM48
    Aside from @onspring, not one message suggesting she look at herself. You can t control him, you can only control you: and if you choose to stay you will have to change how YOU are, to be happy. Marriage is a lifelong commitment you made to your husband (and maybe God). Are you doing everything you can to make him happy and keep his eyes on you?
    Sep 15, 2018 2
    • New / Ops TechLeed
      Lol fuck this mentality. He made a lifelong commitment and thought it wasn't good enough. Send him off to cry and pout like the manchild he is.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft gfba68
      This is incredibly stupid and sexist advice
      Sep 15, 2018
  • GE nhCd35
    Look at a mirror, check your body. Are you still sexy enough to attract him. Small waist bubble butt n boobs. After all Love understanding n soul connection and all emotional things , people still have hormones and when feel horny then shape matters a lot. Go to gym , make it. It’s good for you and him. That might help stop him being an asshole. And find what he needs all in you. Just to be ridiculously honest with you
    Sep 16, 2018 5
    • Facebook / Eng IGFBWAMSG
      @GE, are you serious?!
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Netflix
      6@up0wP

      Netflix

      PRE
      Informatica, Microsoft, SAP
      6@up0wPmore
      haha.. I like your perspective of a relationship.. 😂
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Cisco Viet
      Lol you’re assuming he’s hot. A lot of wives lost interest because their husbands get fat and ugly
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Yahoo Blam
      I understand your point, but to someone who likes to cheat, it doesn't matter how hot their woman is, the forbidden fruit will always be tempting
      Sep 18, 2018
    • HauteLook FleurDeLis
      This is what a bozo sounds like.
      Sep 18, 2018
  • New aLuu55
    Some guys just can’t handle monogamy. Either accept it or leave him. If you decide to stay, tell him no more secrets, you want to know everything.

    My boyfriend and I have been in an open relationship for years and it’s great. He doesn’t really have a super high sex drive but I do, so it’s mostly just me. And it works. I don’t hide anything from him. I would say it’s actually improved and deepened our connection. Monogamy works for some people but not all. Give an open relationship a shot.

    It would be a shame to ruin an otherwise excellent marriage over just this...
    Sep 15, 2018 2
    • Intel blackpink
      Gimme your number
      Sep 15, 2018
    • IBM / Mktg pxDx83
      I do think this is a good point. Sounds like monogamy is not the right answer for him. Could an open relationship be the right answer for both of you?
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng YOLOL
    TC or gtfo
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • Google kweJ64
      You need to calm your tits down. Not every post deserves this bullshit.
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Microsoft / Product
    😂lurker😂

    Microsoft Product

    BIO
    Anonymous
    😂lurker😂more
    This unfortunately is the last place to be looking for advice when your mind is not working.
    People on Blind will mess you up.

    But since you are already here and have asked, it's only respectful of me to say what I think
    1. It might not be as bad as you think. You seem to be getting into a negative spiral thinking about really bad thing.
    2. Talk with an open non-judgemental mind
    3. If he opens up and tells you then figure out how to react after you have given yourself a lot of time. Do not react immediately
    4. Breaking a marriage is easy, nurturing it is difficult - so give it a thorough thought.
    5. Talk to a professional, people on Blind are unqualified pricks. That includes me too...
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Google / Eng rRPD43
    Ask him why he's still in touch with his ex. It sounds like he doesn't respect you, but people are complicated.

    Maybe it's just an escape for him or maybe he's unhappy. Have you tried couple's therapy?
    Sep 13, 2018 0
  • Microsoft / Sales rainsucks
    Start giving him blow jobs again, he will be nice!! Bet you stopped that once you got married!! Also, pay attention to the balls...
    Sep 15, 2018 6
    • Google / Eng rRPD43
      Why do the blowjobs always stop? It's such a bait and switch.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • @rainsucks
      Have a really cool suggestion for you. Try not generalizing your own awful story for the rest of the world?!
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft / Sales rainsucks
      I get regular blow jobs.... tinder and bumble, still single for a reason.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • So why the F are you giving useless advice if you haven't been in that space yourself? Are you like thirteen?
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Hustle Con sfgalm
      He clearly is 13 lol what a loser
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon tfswj
      I will never consider Microsoft
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Salesforce / Eng
    AeIq03

    Salesforce Eng

    PRE
    Tata Consultancy Services
    BIO
    Lead software engineer at Salesforce
    AeIq03more
    What makes you happy ? Staying with him or going away?

    Think about it, life is too short to complain all these issues. If you’re are happy and he is caring you and loves you, it means it is important to consider. But if he is looking for sex from someone else. May be your are not making him happy in sex.

    If you forget all, means he is really caring you and loves, wants to stay with you.

    You need to think what is missing from you and what makes him get away from that ex. Don’t make life miserable with wrong decisions.
    Sep 13, 2018 2
    • Yahoo hgsltw
      pathetic response!! Husband makes a mistake and somehow it’s wife’s fault that he chose that path. OP ignore this response
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon XyIO75
      This is a terrible response..I can’t believe someone would actually write this. OP, stay strong, make a decision that works for you and ignore this response
      Sep 15, 2018
  • HPE WCmF21
    If you put up with it, he will NEVER stop flirting. Most likely he is having an affair with her. If you go back now, I guarantee it will happen again in 3-6 months. This is exactly how abusive relationships get permanent. After a while you will get used to it and look the other way.

    Look online for how abusive relationships develop. Is he physically abusive too? Emotional? These are classic patterns, starts slowly... He was wooing with love bombs before, slowly love bombs stopped, then good behavior stopped, then fights, then anger against inanimate objects (throwing mail on the floor, breaking glass, etc.), humiliation through external sexual escapades, physical abuse ... Ring a bell with you?

    Are both of you Asian or Indian? Must be if his family apologized to you... Asking his family to get involved BTW is another form of abuse, you are put under a lot of guilt. What did your parents, just allowed you to go back?

    Leave now when u still are sensible and have retained your self respect. Do it for your child if not for yourself.
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Oracle TCtv65
    Don't listen to strangers who don't know much about your life. Consult with your family and get counseling. This is not an easy decision and you are the only one who can make the right judgment.
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • Booz Allen Hamilton Cisa 101
      Nothing wrong with listening to other viewpoints. Having a close mind approach is never healthy. in many cases the family member will want people to stay in unhealthy situation despite the signs. a personal decision has to be made. Seeking a marriage counselor can provide another viewpoint regarding what is best.
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Amazon tfswj
    No need to follow random advices here, talk to marriage therapiest. The complicated matter cannot be explained well here.
    Nevertheless, I still want to say one thing:you are the one who's been through a lot of things with him - not the ex on msg, you as a lifelong spouse to him is unbeatable.
    Hope you all the best.
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • Amazon Nsgdbp
      She is not competing with anyone and who cares if she is unbeatable in this cockroach race but loses her dignity and self respect in the process. Agreed he will always come back to her but will keep fucking around anyone. When he is sick or failing in life he will use her support, then she should console herself by thinking she was unbeatable? What is the prize - an asshole?
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Microsoft / Mgmt MadonnaMia
    This is my opinion. And my sole opinion: Honestly... I don't think you have a real issue. I promise you don't.
    My dad has three wives at the same time.. and me and my siblings come up fantastic! The whole monogamy that the society is imposing on you is what is Killing you. The guy is a good husband and a good father. Please let him be happy if he needs to flirt or see other woman. Technically marriage doesn't mean you own your husband. Also men by nature are straight up polygamist. All men who are faithful to their wives are doing so purely and simply because of the non sense society norm.
    I swear we will have a much better and happier people around if polygamy were acceptable in the US. At least accepted everywhere. This is an uptight super hypocritical society, tie down by monogamy law which don't make sense. That's why there is so much gun violence and suicide. People don't get laid enough.
    With that said.. before you ask. Can I also go out and have another boyfriend? Yes you can if deep down that is what you really want to do. Otherwise please let the guy screw a little outside and keep coming back to you and your son happier. Therapy won't solve this.. only freeing his balls will do. My 2 cents. Please be happy. Love you!
    Sep 15, 2018 12
    • Microsoft / Mgmt MadonnaMia
      @destiny.. I swear I am not trolling. We all out ourselves under the wrong pressure for no reason. @Nsgdbp is that what you got from what I said.. my dad was 100 there for all of us. And all wives were happy and help each other out. And he wasn't fucking around.. he married all 3 of them.love and respect them.. it is ok if your mind is that narrow to understand. You are probably a result of the society I was describing.
      Other folks are way more advanced and that is also ok. Monogamy is for the birds. A man isn't meant from his deep core to be with one woman. Impossible! I repeat, please don't leave your husband just because he is flirting with his ex.. let him be. Heck join the conversation.. ask him to add you to the chat. Life is too short to stay faithful... Nonsense!!
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon Nsgdbp
      No, you are a product of a patriarchal society which is worse in more religious and backward communities. Why have none of your three mothers have had extra relationships outside of this one? PATRIARCHY. You clearly are from another fanatic backward world and so do not advise OP.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft gfba68
      All blind adherents to stupid cults see non-adherents as "not as advanced"
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Facebook BasicApe
      What’s with the islamophobia, Amazon? Check your white privilege
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft / Mgmt MadonnaMia
      Oh poor thing.. you are getting agited. None of my three mothers didn't feel the need of going elsewhere. They were free to do so. You are jumping to fast conclusion booboo.
      Also who defines? Who is the judge of a world been backward or fanatic? So any society which does adher to the US Norm is backward?? 😂😂😂🤔🤔.
      Maybe if you take time to slowly digest what I explained you might eventually get it. You sound irritated already.. you are the product of the society that I was defining. Men are by basic nature meant to mate with multiple women. If a woman feel like it as well... I am fully on board. Sex is better than doing drugs or becoming alcoholic. Have you ever heard about the #Metoo movement? Ask yourself why so many cases? American men balls have been jailed for too long. All because everyone is trying to fit in a societal norm that doesn't fit the human nature. You may not ever understand..
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft gfba68
      LOL how would you know what your mothers felt the need to do? It's not like they would have told you.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft / Mgmt MadonnaMia
      How do you know that they didn't tell me?
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft gfba68
      Because you aren't credible
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon Nsgdbp
      MadonnaMia don’t assume I am white or American. How do you ‘know’ men are ‘meant to mate’ with multiple women? Which gene or chromosome defines that? Do you have sisters among your multiple mothers? I bet you guys don’t believe in family planning either or in using condoms as men clearly in your world would be ‘meant to enjoy sex without hindrances like condoms’. Do your sisters all feel the same way about your hunky dory dad? And that they will one day share a husband with multiple women happily?
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Yahoo Blam
      This poster does have a point. I'm not on board, but I'm not going to knock it down.
      Sep 18, 2018
  • Microsoft Diversary
    Counseling. By professionals not an anonymous social media site.
    Sep 15, 2018 3
    • Deloitte uAag27
      That’s BS. Marriage counselors are quacks.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Microsoft BiIlyG
      Counseling worked for my parents, so strong disagree uAag27
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Microsoft Diversary
      I really wish the stigma of counseling would die. It can be wonderful.
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Intel chacha1
    Give him a fucking stern ultimatum to stop his bull crap or get ready to live without his kid. That will put some sense in him. Also talk to the other girl and tell her to f*** off and leave your husband. Good Luck 👍
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • Deloitte uAag27
      Put on your big girl suit and do it! ROFL
      Sep 16, 2018
  • LeanTaaS desi-giri
    One more excellent idea.....

    Blackmail him anonymously that you know all about him and you want money else you would inform his wife and entire family
    Sep 13, 2018 5
    • Splunk Trim
      Watching too many movies?
      Sep 14, 2018
    • LeanTaaS desi-giri
      Yes.... 😀
      Sep 14, 2018
    • PayPal Jamba21
      That was really funny movie!
      Sep 14, 2018
    • New
      onspring

      New

      PRE
      RSA Security, Dell, EMC, EMC Corporation, Sirius Computer Solutions, Cerner Corporation, Sprint
      BIO
      Nope
      onspringmore
      That's illegal and can get you put in jail
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Zillow Group Z💤💤💤💤
      Anonymous mail to threaten to inform family is illegal?
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Google / Eng fSqyN91
    Define "sexting". I am still friends with two of my exes. We talk about all sorts of things, sometimes about relationships and sex. I find it very useful to have a woman's perspective, I guess they need the same from a guy. On occasion it gets borderline flirty, but I make sure it goes no further than that.

    I would never cheat on my woman, physically or emotionally - it's a truly shitty thing to do. But on the other hand, I can't imagine being told which friends I am allowed to talk with; that would be a huge red flag for me that emotional abuse will soon be coming down the road.

    It's not clear from your post what your husband was doing. If he was cheating - he's no good for you, time for divorce. If it was some innocent flirting - realize that this is a part of being human.
    Sep 16, 2018 4
    • Spotify WizzAir
      Agreed. Determine if this relationship is salvageable or not, then go from there. And IMO it probably is. Doesn't seem like he is a bad person overall.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • SAP wmmpd
      You guys should first read OP's comments made elsewhere in this post/ thread. She mentioned very clearly what kind of messaging it was, and it was anything but innocent messaging or flirting. And btw, I'd be wary of judging someone by my own standards. What may seem restrictive to you may be par for the course for another, and what may seem like having your own independence/ space (in this context) may well be equivalent to borderline cheating for another.
      Sep 18, 2018
    • Spotify WizzAir
      For me the definition of unsalvageable cheating is something happened physically. It's like difference between a broken laptop or a laptop with virus. One you have to buy new one, one you reinstall ubuntu and good to go.
      Sep 18, 2018
    • SAP wmmpd
      Hardly. That's not always the case. There is such a thing as emotional cheating/ affairs, you should read up about it. It can be more insidious than just a physical relationship. Anyway, to reiterate, we are not here to discuss our definition of cheating. Limits have been crossed here, and crossed MORE THAN ONCE. (Limits, if one must know, that most people hold dear). So that decision HAS been made. There is no debate there, not as far as OP & her husband are concerned anyway. And top of that, he has ALREADY ACCEPTED his guilt! So why this is even being discussed still, is not clear to me!
      Sep 18, 2018
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Apple / Eng dangerduck
      Don’t be a heartless turd.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • SanDisk Gfsedcu
      You are pathetic
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon Nsgdbp
      Petty insecurities? Oh man you are going to have so many relationship issues in life. How old are you?
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Hustle Con sfgalm
      Omg if this person is in a relationship they are the worst and exactly like the shitty husband she’s describing
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Indeed / Sales
    rWPK40

    Indeed Sales

    PRE
    Indeed
    BIO
    New venture as a cloud broker
    rWPK40more
    What! Reality check. At no point did he cheat based on your post. He is an ass to talk to his ex, but he might also be unhappy about your relationship. Talk to him, understand the situation and then assess if it is worth fighting for or not. Why is he doing that. You stated he already changed for you and your kid, so what's the issue? He wouldn't have done shit if he was beyond saving. From a guy who made one mistake in 10 years and does all he can to buy redemption everyday (my wife doesn't know).
    Sep 15, 2018 2
    • Apple gorillla
      Are you serious? You’re placing all this responsibly on the victim? He should be the one talking to her if there is something wrong in his mind. She’s not a mind reader! There is absolutely no justification sexting anybody but your significant other while in a relationship.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft tlKM06
      Omfg. People on blind are so fucked up. Seriously. It wasn't innocent conversation. It was sexting. He was hiding it from her and he knew it would cause serious ramifications within the relationship. That's cheating.
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Wish DfDq81
    Once a cheater, always a cheater
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • That’s the dumbest thing people unfortunately say all the time. A man can truly change!!
      Sep 15, 2018
  • VMware cnYR72
    What's your TC
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • Salesforce 2cloudy
      MY MAN!!!
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng
    azzy

    Amazon Eng

    PRE
    Oracle
    BIO
    Hey.
    azzymore
    I am sorry to hear this but if you want my honest opinion, it's gonna be the hard cold truth so if you want to avoid getting upset if you're not prepared to hear it, then stop reading now but I'm not gonna sugar coat it or blame the guy (yes I have a good reason). Okay so you want to know? Reading this I see some huge relationship issues, flags, and just plain ignorance when keeping a relationship together. This is exactly just doing what everyone does and running into the problems that everyone run into when they make decisions like you. You have the power to avoid this crap. Yes you have a shitty husband, but youre also just like everyone else, blaming the other person not realizing that you allowed yourself to get to this point even though all the warning signs were there. but don't feel bad, the majority of people have no idea what they're doing when it comes to having a healthy relationship. For example, whether I was a male or female I would have ended the relationship right when I felt any VALID distrust with my partner. YOU CAUGHT HIM SEXTING... THAT WAS THE SIGNAL. THAT WAS VALID. END IT. I know it would have been hard but you're in an even more messed up situation now and it's of your own making. Also, again most people would blame their shitty partner.. I agree he is a jackass, but if it was me why am I better when I accept a jackass as a partner? The signals were there, you should have ended it to get away from this jerk. No man will ever take you seriously and will also do whatever the fuck they want if they don't respect you. No one will respect you if you don't respect yourself. If you don't break up with a cheating sexting husband as a favor to yourself, then you do not respect yourself. There's a lot of other stuff I can also add regarding this but this post is already too long. I know wasn't clear on some parts so if you want clarification just ask.
    Sep 16, 2018 0
  • Ellie Mae SxmE80
    There are a lot of high TC low IQ morons on Blind. So be careful whose advice you head too. Have a conversation with him and ask him if he is still in touch. If he says No then involve your parents and take the necessary steps. MAKE SURE you have proof that this has happened and you don't have a perception bias. If he says Yes ask him why and go back to the parents. It doesn't matter whether he is a good father or employee. What matters is your self respect. Tomorrow your son does the same your husband will be fine with it and you will be responsible for screwing up another life. Don't go to any therapist and shit like that. I am assuming you are Indian. In our culture we have parents who are the best therapists. Take them and a few good friends confidence and go from there. These things need to be corrected early in a marriage.
    Sep 16, 2018 5
    • Intel FNiy40
      OP
      Thank you.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Deloitte uAag27
      “Involve your parents?” “Have proof?” Are you 12? Who cares about what your parents have to say about YOUR marriage, they are not the ones living in it! All they can do is guess, and you can guess too! Your guess will always be better than your parents.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Facebook / Eng IGFBWAMSG
      Yes, please do not to listen some of these aholes. A lot of them don't care about you. One of the best community I have come across is r/relationshipadvice. People are so thoughtful and nice there.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Facebook Oktheny
      You should definitely see a counselor and trained professional to discuss this situation
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Google guugly
      Good advice. Another thing to note is that a lot of Indian women in the bay area become fat, ugly, and unkempt after marriage. Don't be that person.

      Work out. Wear cute and fit outfits. Fix your hair and straighten it. Check out if your appearance is ugly compared to east asian women of your age, and take action.
      Sep 18, 2018
  • Qualcomm / Eng
    ChicaBoom

    Qualcomm Eng

    PRE
    Qualcomm
    BIO
    Embedded software engineer
    ChicaBoommore
    Is it just flirting over texts or is he actually sleeping around.

    The thing is women are entertainment for men. Some times men take their families seriously, e.g. provide and care for them but they cannot help themselves to add a little spice in their lives.

    It sounds he has this casual connection with his ex that apparently gives him something that perhaps he doesn't have with you.

    If so far you're satisfied with the marriage and you've a kid together don't be so quick to throw it away. Did he give you permission to check his phone. If so ask him plainly to explain his recent interaction given the history.

    If not, still confront him and give him the opportunity to explain his behavior. The important thing is to get clarity on whether he's just forced by habit or actually making up for something that doesn't exist between the two of you.

    I only know your side of the story. Please know your life will change drastically if you get separated. If you're unhappy and dissatisfied then by all means make a well thought out decision and then don't change your mind. You've to take that step with the mind to move on. You've a kid to take care of.
    Sep 16, 2018 4
    • Yahoo a-frame
      “women are entertainment for men. Some times men take their families seriously, e.g. provide and care for them but they cannot help themselves to add a little spice in their lives.”

      Yeah, we have reptilian brains and we are not fully in control of our actions.

      Horse shit. Don’t fool yourself, men are not all cheating sex addicts.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Cisco Viet
      So what you’re saying is all men cheat... wrong
      Sep 16, 2018
    • LinkedIn FlyinHigh
      Men flirt because we want to feel like we still got it. It's just a chase. As long as he is not sleeping with the other women and is home every night. Let him have the fun. I see men who are obsessed with golf. That's 5hours a pop away from you. And yes, that's a relationship! If he made you happy, a good husband, good father. Forgive him and move forward. Divorce is hard.
      Sep 17, 2018
    • This guy is sick. I would never start such conversations with other woman.
      Sep 18, 2018
  • Facebook / Eng
    Easy Going

    Facebook Eng

    PRE
    Microsoft
    Easy Goingmore
    Sorry you're having to go through this.

    Would you mind sharing a recent example of a flirtatious text from him to his ex?

    The reason I ask is because a lot of people have very different ideas about what constitutes flirting.

    Not everyone becomes enemies with their exes. For those people who remain friends, it can be a different kind of relationship while still being "innocent". I'm not saying that he's not cheating on you because I have no idea.

    You asked for other opinions though and I can comfortably say I'm not enemies with any of my exes and the closeness we used to have makes it possible to have conversations that can seem closer than conversations with other friends even though I have no interest in getting back together with any of my exes and I'm confident that's true vice versa as well.

    Note: my wife is actually good friends with one of my exes.
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • Amazon tfswj
      Partly agree. It's fine to keep in touch with ex, I do too. But the conversation should be far far from being flirtatious. It's OP's judge though what makes a message flirtatious. IMO: Greetings on birthdays, holidays is not. Talking about recent life and work or interest is not. Exchanging photos is a bit flag, talking about sex is red red flag.
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Microsoft Qztujse157
    Be sweet. Pretend to go back. Stack up some cash, set yourself up, figure out his finances. Then take him for every single penny he’s got.
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • Only a bitter woman can post something like this. The perfect marriage is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Disney actjae83
    Just leave that fucking asshole and live your life independently with your son.
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Okta / Other falkan
    Been there. Like one of the previous commenters, it took me 11 years of marriage to do what I should have done after 4 years, when I found out she was cheating and sneaking around on me while we had a youngster. I divorced her (meaning I’m the one who dragged her into a mediator’s office) and said we can do this the easy way or the hard way with a drawn out divorce. She chose wisely and I’ve been happy and successful ever since. My kid is doing great too. You’ll be a better parent to your child when you are happy. It won’t be easy, but I’ll be honest, it’s way easier than fooling yourself daily, being unhappy, and forcing to make something that is broken and out of your control work.
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Amazon sde-iii
    It seems like your husband has sexual needs that aren’t being fulfilled in your marriage. You should talk openly with him about how those needs can be filled in your relationship. Are you open to try the things in the hardcore porn he’s into? It might be fun and might simplify your marriage.
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Apple / Eng dangerduck
    I’m so sorry this is happening you. I would suggest asking this question on a more compassionate website such as Metafilter. They tend to give really good advice for these kinds of questions.

    Seriously, this website is full of stupid, spoiled kids.
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • HPE llill
    If a man loves his wife and son and he is being a good husband then what else do you need from him? Fidelity? What an archaic word from medieval times. Wake up people, you are changing jobs like nurse is changing gloves. And you are talking about fidelity? Am I missing a sacred point here? Go ahead read a prayer.
    Sep 15, 2018 13
    • New / Ops TechLeed
      Go back to the backwards country your culture comes from
      Sep 15, 2018
    • HPE llill
      :) guess who have no more arguments
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Facebook / Eng Bootcampe
      I hope u are being sarcastic
      Sep 15, 2018
    • HPE llill
      Slightly sarcastic:)
      I’m trying to be neutral and not judgmental like 99% ppl here. And I’m trying to see what’s going on from the common sense prospective, and without any societal cliches.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • TD Ameritrade / IT hexs
      Yes you are missing a point. The husband apologized and said he wouldn’t do it again. Then he did it again. If you don’t intend on being monogamous, then 1) don’t enter a monogamous relationship, and 2) don’t lie and say you won’t sext your ex and then do it anyway.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • New eft1987
      I promised I wouldn’t embezzle any more money from my company.

      Then I did it again.

      Should I get fired?
      Sep 16, 2018
    • Microsoft tlKM06
      I won't disagree that the construct of marriage is outdated. However he promised fidelity when he got married and then broke his promise twice. If he wanted an open relationship he should have been up front about if from the beginning
      Sep 16, 2018
    • HPE llill
      You cannot twist arms of your fiancé and sign in blood his/her promise not to look at other women/men forever (and I am not only talking about sexual relationships). This would be immoral and hypocritical in the first place. All you need is his saying that he loves you now. However Love is not a contract. Love is not a legal matter. Therefore you should resolve your soul, feelings, emotions matters between you and your spouse, instead of getting them out to public, let alone in court.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • TD Ameritrade / IT hexs
      No one said it was a legal matter. The point is he agreed to be in a monogamous relationship and then he violated the terms of the relationship.
      Sep 16, 2018
    • HPE llill
      If your husband told you he loves you at the wedding and then in 10 years you feel that he does not love you anymore, do you think categories like “violated terms”?
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Sephora / Design LastScout
    Do not divorce. Marriage is work. It’s not perfect. It starts with acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional love. Just tell him to cut the shit.

    Do not divorce, your son needs a mother and father together or statistically he’s more likely to have a hard life. Look into it.
    Sep 15, 2018 6
  • Microsoft qPnW62
    You should see a therapist. Also look up narcissistic personality disorder (for him, not you. Do NOT mention it to him, though). Also see a divorce lawyer without him knowing and tell them EVERYTHING. You want to collect evidence and be able to get your fair share of the marital $$ to support yourself when you leave him without him suspecting something beforehand.

    HE WILL NOT CHANGE. This is false love. Actions speak louder than words. Do not let your son grow up to be like his father.
    Sep 15, 2018 2
    • Microsoft / Mgmt MadonnaMia
      Therapy is not the solution.. please let the guy taste other woman vgg outside. It is really not that much of a big deal. Sex is better than alcohol or cocaine. You leave your lovely husband and good father is not a good advice. There is not a lot of men out there any more to marry. Don't leave for such a little thing.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Microsoft qPnW62
      Sounds exactly like someone with NPD would say.

      Therapy is very helpful in the healing process as long as you are open to it.

      And why do you assume OP is already off wanting to marry another person. She has a son and should be strong for him and for herself. Everyone deserves to have self respect. She doesn't need a marriage to define her. If she finds love again, that's a different story. But you won't attract different people than her current husband without changing yourself, which is where therapy can also help.
      Sep 16, 2018
  • Microsoft / Eng
    Gintama

    Microsoft Eng

    PRE
    Microsoft
    Gintamamore
    I can only help you if he needs to disappear.
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Apple kosm81
    In my opinion, every person have their own journey and their own perception of what is wrong and what is right. For some people it might be ok to stay and sort things out with therapy etc and for some it’s totally not fine.

    At the end of the day, it’s your life and you have to stand up and say these are my limit this is what I want and this is what I believe in. When you take that decision there will still be people who will say you did wrong and you could have done this and done that etc. ignore everything and just go with what you want. I totally understand you are currently in a-position where you need advice, take that from someone you really believe in and you respect their opinion.

    Few years from now when you will look back at your decision at least you will have sense of satisfaction that it was your decision and you accepted the fate of it.

    Remember, life is too short, enjoy the time because by the time you want it’s time to enjoy, it’s already too late.

    Do what you like, go where you like. Take your kid where he likes, take lot of pictures, go meet your parents, take them on their dream vacation, meet your best friends, get yourselves what you really wanted, at the end this is what will really matter and this is something you will remember when you reach time of your life.

    Your friend!
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Victra / Mgmt MacJM
    Sounds like role reversal of my first marriage and the exact situation my new (as of 9/1) wife was in with her ex husband. Emotional abuse and disrespect. My ex wife tried to apologize several times and I stupidly took her back. My wife kept forgiving her ex husband until enough was enough. So my question to you is when will enough be enough?
    Sep 15, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng
    ime&myself

    Amazon Eng

    PRE
    Sabre Corporation
    ime&myselfmore
    Get out of the marriage. Took me 12 years to realize that about my wife. I am filing divorce next week. We've been separated for about 2 years now. I am at peace.
    Sep 14, 2018 13
    • Amazon / Eng
      ime&myself

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      Sabre Corporation
      ime&myselfmore
      She wants to stay married to me so I can run the home. So she was using the kids to force me to stay married to her. She manipulated my daughter into hating me.. And my daughter doesn't want to live with me now. She is 12 by the way and she has a say in the custody.

      Long story short, i gave up my home and kids to get rid of her. I walked out with my 401k and stocks. It was heading no where for two years and taking a toll on me. My relationship with my daughter was detoriating. I just wanted out of the marraige. Took me two years though.

      I'll get to visit kids and see them over the weekends. I live 3 hrs away though.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Intel FNiy40
      OP
      How she manage finances, then? You provide for kids tuition and food bills ? Did she work?

      I think in my case, it is also the same. He is getting loyal wife and good free salary.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Facebook / Eng Bootcampe
      It’s very easy for stay at home parent to manipulate kids. I have seen that happen with my uncle. Basically, kids spend most time with stay at home parent and get attached to them. The earning parent has lesser time and also they do not make an extra effort to spend more time, because they depend and trust the stay at home parent. So if divorce or separation happens, kids choose the stay at home parent, without understanding that the other parent was also as much invested in them.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng
      ime&myself

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      Sabre Corporation
      ime&myselfmore
      My wife works too but nothing connects to a daughter better than some tears. It was easy for my wife to manipulate her, cry foul and tell the kids that I am the bad one.

      I tried to explain myself to the kid but it only made it worse.
      Of
      My wife (soon to be ex) works. I pay for the kids tuition and expenses though. By law i am required to pay 25% of my salary.

      The peace of mind i have once I broke the marriage is priceless. You cannot be in between for a long time.
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Oracle Orcleite
      Cannt that cheating thing help you to save your house?
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng
      ime&myself

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      Sabre Corporation
      ime&myselfmore
      Oracle... I am in a different city now so house didn't make sense to me. And I kinda hated to live in the neighborhood after the divorce.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Oracle Orcleite
      It’s not about staying there. You can sell the house. But the point is how can you allow her to get all your properties despite she cheated on you
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng
      ime&myself

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      Sabre Corporation
      ime&myselfmore
      Not all. We split our net worth equally. Finances would not be THE priority while going through a divorce.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Oracle Orcleite
      Oh okay, the would be the big dent for husband in many cases
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Apple kNhN24
      You can always make more money. Might have to dish out alimony but time is priceless. You deserve to spend that time with someone who respects you.
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Juniper jca
    Who dates shortly and gets married ?! Also , the whole family apologized ? Why is the family getting involved ?
    Sep 15, 2018 4
    • GlobalFoundries / Eng yiRW27
      Jca, keep your frustrations at work. She is asking for suggestions not your critical thinking.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Apple / Eng NRxt00
      How dare you assume their gender!!!
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Uber / R&D jidao
      Hard to get pregnant when being a man
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Juniper jca
      Dating shortly and getting married , family getting involved : all of this points to a South Asian culture ( arranged marriage ? ) I really have no idea how that culture works but can say it's hard to jump straight to marriage after hanging out for a few days. Also why is the guy assumed at fault always. It could very well be that she misinterpreted his intentions or maybe she is just lying.
      Sep 15, 2018
  • IBM Parmish
    Is he only sexting with ex or cheating you as well ?

    If only sexting, maybe he just only wants to add some spice in life. But surely chose the wrong person for that
    Sep 13, 2018 3
    • Intel FNiy40
      OP
      As much I know, only sexting
      Sep 14, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng Rontoto
      Don’t lie to yourself. Would you sext several years with someone if nothing happens between you two? I can tell you for sure that’s not what happening. I have been someone’s affair for several years and these type of men lie both to their wife and their lover.
      Sep 15, 2018
    • Apple gorillla
      Sexting is just as bad as sex. They’re both cheating. One can argue that mental cheating is worse than physical cheating
      Sep 15, 2018
  • First Republic / Eng friendojim
    “....less respectful, more authoritative as in I am his property” is already a red flag. Add the (repeated) lying and emotional (AT LEAST) infidelity?

    You don’t need to do anything right now. It’s probably best if you don’t. Get your calm back and then ask yourself, “What would I advise my best girlfriend to do?”

    I’m sooooo sorry—this sucks. Take good care of yourself.
    Sep 15, 2018 1
    • New / Other
      Tzal02

      New Other

      PRE
      Blue Cross Blue Shield
      Tzal02more
      ^^^^Having been in an abusive relationship, i agree with this one
      Sep 15, 2018
  • Amazon Wlaons
    Marital counseling
    Sep 15, 2018 0

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