Loneliness - will it ever end?

Microsoft Thinker!
Sep 29 48 Comments

Immigrant in US.
Feeling great from career side of things.
Healthy, both physically and mentally.

From personal side of things, I have a few friends that I hang out with in the city on weekends. However, theres a big void that I feel with the festivals approaching.

My mom doesnt want to come meet me because I have been awful with her in the past. She asks me to come and live with her but I dont have any vacation days left.

My friends from school are distant and just share wishes on birthdays.

I have been using Tinder and Bumble extensively but don’t find anyone I am interested in.

I am 27. Wondering if this void will end soon or will it go on forever?

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TOP 48 Comments
  • Axtria user571
    You will get comfortable with it, everyone does. Then it won't bother you much.
    Sep 29 4
    • Microsoft Thinker!
      OP
      This has been going on for 4 years now. I don’t feel any better with years passing by
      Sep 29
    • Axtria user571
      Sorry to hear. Pm me if you want to talk.
      Sep 29
    • Apple —wtf—
      Going through same crap for while. Haven't found the girl, but learned how to keep myself busy and entertained. Feel free to DM.
      Sep 29
    • Axtria KzhH222
      Same. I didn't find the right guy and I didn't want to settle down with someone for any reason outside of love. I do miss companionship occassionally but I don't feel lonely since I have a baby, a pet, and friends.
      Sep 30
  • Cerner RMuh72
    Be happy with yourself instead of needing others for yourself to be happy.
    Sep 29 2
    • Amazon / Eng Beef Gates
      Be isolated for 1 yr and see if you can still say that
      Sep 29
    • Cerner RMuh72
      Excuses are for the weak
      Sep 30
  • Amazon lyfsux
    It is lonely. Atleast you have friends in the city. I don't . Every weekend is boring .but now I get jittery if I have to meet people. I learnt to embrace my loneliness and it gets better. And the problem isn't only with men..it's with girls too. I'm a girl and not interested in meeting new men for other than friendship purposes, but it's just too much work
    Sep 29 0
  • Microsoft pig pig
    If u don’t put your TC here no one will answer your question. Hahaha. Seriously, I will say enjoying your time being single for now. Later you will miss it
    Sep 29 4
    • Microsoft Thinker!
      OP
      Okay why do you say that?
      Sep 29
    • Microsoft pig pig
      Because it is true
      Sep 29
    • Microsoft Thinker!
      OP
      Sure but why is that
      Sep 29
    • Pandora / Eng joystick
      Having a partner means less control over your life and goals. You may not understand this until you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. It’s a trade off.
      Sep 29
  • Oracle fx1
    You picked a career and location that you were not wired for while growing up. That's the cause of your loneliness and dissatisfaction. You maximize for some parameter, and the other parameters get impacted. Life is a polynomial, multi-variable equation.
    Sep 30 0
  • Amazon / Other
    no--name

    Amazon Other

    PRE
    DC Government
    BIO
    If i have to do it, i will do it quickly
    no--namemore
    Get a 🐕
    Sep 29 0
  • Intel
    tiger131

    Intel

    PRE
    Microsoft
    tiger131more
    Go to ur home country to get a girl
    Sep 29 4
    • Microsoft Thinker!
      OP
      Not giving up on my career.
      Sep 29
    • Cisco aaoraja
      I don’t think going back is giving up on career! There will be good career options just the pay will be hit
      Sep 29
    • Microsoft Thinker!
      OP
      Yep don’t want that hit either
      Sep 29
    • Apple —wtf—
      How going back would lead to better dating ? I highly doubt, specially in any tech city.
      Sep 29
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Microsoft Thinker!
      OP
      Not going for arrange in my life.
      Sep 29
    • Riverbed Technology dagdaubab
      Dating is milder form of arranged marriage
      Sep 29
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • New / Eng
      TechLeed

      New Eng

      PRE
      Amazon
      TechLeedmore
      Your fucking stock is shit lol
      Sep 29
  • Microsoft LdPT02
    It doesn't really get better, the loneliness in america I mean. So much political correctness and personal space isolates people.
    Sep 29 0
  • New / Mgmt
    blind 

    New Mgmt

    PRE
    Google
    blind more
    Fix the situation with mom, that will help lots, trust me, and go visit when you get vacation days next year.

    Also, never get married to someone not aware of what they are subscribing for as a techie at a big tech... This will turn hell.
    Sep 29 0
  • Google / Eng cigsinside
    In the bay area? It has this magical ability to make you feel lonely as shit no matter what
    Sep 29 0
  • Wayfair / Eng tAcq10
    The void is eternal. TC is your only hope of salvation.
    Sep 29 0
  • Skadden 2🔜
    You have to make friends and get out there. Def don’t know why people are telling you to leave the country, little extreme lol
    Sep 29 0
  • New / Eng
    TechLeed

    New Eng

    PRE
    Amazon
    TechLeedmore
    Loneliness ends when you decide to fix it. Until then you can mope in your apartment/house. Join an online community, go to meetups, whatever to get the social aspect you need. Tinder and bumble are designed to tease you and leave you wishing you were the hot person who everyone swipes right on. It's engineered to extract money for you to find your match.
    Sep 29 4
    • Apple —wtf—
      I agree. Online dating is brutal.

      I have been looking at meetups in South Bay and they seem like sausage fest. Any better up there in SF? Or am I missing something here in South that I dunno about ?
      Sep 29
    • New / Eng
      TechLeed

      New Eng

      PRE
      Amazon
      TechLeedmore
      I live in LA, no idea what goes on up there
      Sep 29
    • Microsoft LdPT02
      Dude LA is a fun place. Not the same for Seattle or SF folks. Its brutally lonely.
      Sep 29
    • New / Eng
      TechLeed

      New Eng

      PRE
      Amazon
      TechLeedmore
      Silicon Beach 👌
      Sep 29
  • Microsoft MeThree
    I was like OP for many years, but now I’m happily married; never thought that would happen. Try to enjoy the single life; travel and do stuff you might not have time for later.

    Pro tip: visit places like Amsterdam and Thailand while you’re single.
    Sep 30 0
  • Google vrxi
    Move
    Sep 29 0
  • Riverbed Technology dagdaubab
    You don't want to give up career which means you want the dough. You want someone but don't want to go for arranged marriage. Seem like you want to have the cake and eat it too.
    Sep 29 0
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Amazon / Other
      no--name

      Amazon Other

      PRE
      DC Government
      BIO
      If i have to do it, i will do it quickly
      no--namemore
      Scam scam scam 👻
      Sep 29
    • Microsoft SnYL20
      Why you think so
      Sep 29
    • LinkedIn brooklin
      Do you even English
      Sep 30
  • LinkedIn codejunky
    Is it really worth it? Thats what you need to ask yourself
    Sep 29 3
    • Microsoft Thinker!
      OP
      Is what worth it?
      Sep 29
    • LinkedIn codejunky
      Living here. Earning those few extra bucks
      Sep 29
    • New / Creative
      kokinaddic

      New Creative

      PRE
      Netflix
      BIO
      Truth is a foreign language to all.
      kokinaddicmore
      It's actuallyore than a few tbh
      Sep 29

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