I met a gorgeous woman engineer some months back and we have been exchanging messages for a long time now. I have tried my best to help her, play polite and give some no-nonsense advice when asked. But before all this, she had declined me for a coffee ( this was months back). Now, I want to ask her for a date. How can I do this better and at best continue to be civil and courteous? I don’t want the friendship to go sour. Edit : — Not in the same organization — not from the same race — I’ve tried to move from beta to alpha after some changes to lifestyle but I can’t say if those are conspicuous enough for her. — this is purely platonic, I am quite sure this would be a first of its kind for each other .
Have you cleaned your room?
Dont try to be too nice. Be very casual, shouldn't even look like you asking her out for a date.
Being too nice is a quality of beta, and shows that you dont have any other options.
lol'd
What did she say for why she declined you for coffee? Just busy or she wasn’t comfortable? Is she a friend or someone you want to be romantic with? Are you too available to her? Just be prepared in case she says she’s not attracted to you.. lots of nice fish out there, get fishin
You have to ask her out again. If you don't, you'll just be her friend zone puppy forever, so she can complain to you whenever her real man dumps her
Not going to let that happen
Tbh dude. Probably time to take the hint and move on.
Move on dude
If she declined you once, move on. *Maybe* see if she's interested in joining you along for some event where some mutual friends are involved, but it just sounds like she's not interested.
Yeah I’d say go the mutual friends route. Or invite her to the next party at your place.
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If she declined coffee, she might not be feelin ya like that. That being said, over time a platonic girl friend could develop feels. This would likely only happen if you were able to project confidence while acting like you’ve totally moved on for a decent period of time. However, if she’s a coworker, do not ask her out again. You’ll be entering “unsafe space” territory.