My boyfriend of 2 years is super supportive and understanding most of the times, I give him a tough time in terms of getting cranky or behaving rudely sometimes, he keeps his cool and tries to calm me . Is it justified if we get married I feel in this scenario I am taking undue advantage of him.There's pressure mounting from both the sides of family to get married soon, maybe that's another reason that's adding stress to our relationship. We both want to get married to each other, but I wanted to make sure he isn't jumping to wrong conclusions given behavior.P.S, I am trying and changing bit by bit to be a better person to have a great future together by controlling my anger issues and trying to think from his perspective as well. what other factors should we consider before jumping to decide if we are meant to be together?
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- Microsoft HksbdhChances are that you'll never change. You need to be sure that he'll be able to put up with this shit forever
- Google / EngBluthsIf the boyfriend was asking for advice, I would tell him not to marry you. You’re trying to change, but people rarely ever change.
But since he seems okay being the submissive one in the relationship, I don’t see anything wrong from your perspective.
- How do you know he's submissive? OP has a problem she isn't able to control. Have you heard of hormone and depression related behavior issues, or some inherently present in people beyond their control? I feel she is giving him the respect and control. She's accepting her limitations and is grateful to him.
- On a lighter note, yes we have observed the pattern fluctuating with the hormonal pattern, so he shows a lil bit of extra love and caution towards PMS. me on the other hand try my bit by trying to be healthier to not let it go out of hand. You really gave it a geniune thought, thanks so much for the compassion and perspective.
- If you love this guy, go and marry him. Honestly, he knows your limitations and has still proposed to you. You are self aware and the anger and pms issues you are going through and are not doing it intentionally. Give him your devotion and accept his commitment. Good luck :)
- Roku / EngWaggishmoreWow girl advantages? Is it a fancy statement these days to say I have no control on myself. Don’t you think you do this because you know for a fact that he is taking that shit and not leaving you?
- FYI: https://www.webmd.com/women/features/escape-hormone-horrors-what-you-can-do
Please educate yourself before you get a partner.
I understand that it would have been troublesome if she was taking zero responsibility. But she is, she's accepting the effect of this, giving credit to him for dealing with it well and is trying to deal with her issues!
- Microsoft HtdifgAsk him his expectations of you. Is either of your decisions based on a hope that the other person will change for better (read different) in future? Then maybe it’s not the time for marriage yet.
But if both of you take each other for what you are right now, then go for it! That way, there will not be any regret in your future if things don’t turn out as expected. And about changing behaviors/self improvement, that’s human nature. But you know that whatever either of you change to be, you both will change together, in the same set of circumstances and experiences and trust me, that’ll be acceptable for both of you.
- You seem self reflective and honest. You are ready to take responsibility for your actions. Please have a heart to heart conversation with him. I feel any man would prefer a woman who accepts her mistakes, is honest, is appreciative of him, even if she has faults than plenty of worse off options. If you feel insecure say that to him.
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- At least you are self aware and trying to improve. Don't marry because of pressure but only if you guys are in love and see yourselves together long term
- Proofpoint / OthergaaanduKey questions: how do you think he would do as a father and how well do you get along with the family. Those are the big ones, along with the money issue. Everything else secondary.
- I have not met his family yet, but they seem to be good folks, as far as money issue is concerned, can you please elaborate- they are not financially too well off, but I have enough trust we as individuals would be able to take care of finances via our jobs. As far as he being able to be a good father is concerned, what should I take into consideration? Apologize if I sound too naive.
- Apple / EngOxKingmoreYour personal decisions should not be overly influenced by family. I understand people come from a variety of backgrounds but if you live in the USA a marriage can destroy you if it goes sour.
Also, does he have a problem with you being cranky? I know guys who get chewed out by their wife and seem to love it. 😎