We've been married for 3 years, been in a relationship for 5. It was like a dream for both of us. We hardly had any major issues and got along really well. Almost no friction in our relationship. We were so close to deciding on when to start a family. Then he comes along. When I met her she seemed wise. She was happy with life and grateful for everything it offered. She understood the meaning of both desire and compromise. I had dated a few women, but this understanding of life was missing. This was my final consideration in asking her to marry me. Over the last year, she's struggling to find a "meaning". I have tried handling things lightly and kept it casual. She's started reading all those books and even started talking to her single co-workers about her issues. Sure enough, they reminded her of all the ways she didn't have fun. But she seemed to forget all the ways we did have fun. This guy she met at a restaurant by accident (table number confusion) seemed to occupy quite a bit of her time. Then they started a business relationship. My wife was often going out with him to meet his clients and make connections. The business trip changed everything. After the trip, it felt like she didn't struggle with "meaning" anymore. She altered her schedule and seemed refreshed. 2 months later, she comes and says "I need a break, I don't know how long". I asked if something's serious and she says "yes". I took about a week and said "okay". She says "I also want to see other people". I immediately lost it and a huge fight later, she packed her bags, moved into her sister's. Some of the phrases from the fight: "He's different" "He's a risk-taker" "Knows influential people and can potentially boost my career" "Has a better house" (I'm not kidding!) Few weeks later, we meet up and come to a conclusion on the divorce situation. Oddly enough, she didn't want my assets even though we didn't sign a prenup. As of right now, documents are under processing. I still can't believe it. What happened to her? She didn't confide in me regarding some issues and I respected her right to do so. But I didn't think the situation would spiral out of control this bad. Part of me wants to believe she's still the same person and I'm the culprit. I don't know what to do from here. I'll be honest. I'm not "broken" as such. I want to change for the better. But I'm left in limbo. I don't see a beginning, I don't see an end. Edit: Please don't DM. Thanks for understanding. TC - 315k YOE - 8
He may just have a bigger you know what
House?
You know what = TC
You’re not even half the man you used to be
Just move on mate. So many fish in the pond. Be glad that at you didn't have kids with her and she didn't want your assets.
That is definitely something to be relieved about.
Tell her to wait for someone who is better than her new boyfriend, richer, handsome. This is very good thing happened to you before kids. You need to celebrate
Sounds like a case of you guys grew apart slowly. Stuff happens, don't dwell too much on it. If you need help processing it, you should see a therapist.
But to be clear though: she definitely fucked the guy during the "business" trip
And she liked it. OP, how often did you give her orgasms when u were together?
You didn’t use the word “love” at all. Telling. A no friction relationship over 5 years likely means you’re both problem avoiders. Or you failed to notice when there was friction or objection from her. Most of your post sounds observational regarding your wife. “Oddly enough she didn’t want my assets” is telling. Wouldn’t “our” assets be what you’d say in a “dream relationship”? Why the boundary? Sounds like she didn’t see any spark and you don’t know what a spark is.
I don't disagree on the spark thing, but compatibility and easy going seemed to make up for it. I think you're focusing too much on the grammar.
Words matter. It’s not just “grammar”. Compatible and easy going will never stand up against “spark”. As you’ve found the hard way.
Fuck her. Obviously she wasn’t mature and ready enough for a committed relationship and you seem like a decent guy. Make sure you complete the divorce as flawless and as quickly as you can. There are so many women out there. You’ll be alright OP 👍
Cut your losses and move on. You would heal and be stronger.
You married someone who was not mature enough and not committed enough. Divorce. Make all paper work rock solid so that she never comes after you later. Never look back.
Agree with ☝️. Seems like she lacks a serious dose of maturity.
> Oddly enough, she didn't want my assets even though we didn't sign a prenup. OP, you’re extremely lucky! Get divorced asap before she changes her mind. It sounds like she’s a moron and also very immature, but you won the lottery on that one!