Did you find any cases of micro aggressions at your tech company? I feel it’s very pervasive but no one wants to talk about it. Has any one said “you speak good English” and “oh I expected you to be in user experience not backend engineering”
TOP 49 Comments
- You should read https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/gender-equality/women-in-the-workplace-2018Jun 18 4
- I think people sometimes forget intent.. I've had people tell me "you speak good English" which clearly means they didn't expect me to.. But i just assume they're unaware of people of my ethnicity, perhaps because they haven't met many, and is that really their fault? In a way they're acknowledging their own ignorance and correcting it..
- This is how I would answer those comments.
You speak good english
You speak good English too :)
I expected to be in UX.
"Why did you expect that?"
or "I expected you would not get hired here"
I would just make them think about it, but I wouldn't be quiet or let people get to me.
- Indeed / Eng blindhatI agree with Bill. People who do things like this are often too simpleminded to fully understand micro-aggressions. It often comes from a place of being simpleminded, ignorant, or just incredibly sheltered. Don’t get bent out of shape. This is the best approach, make people think when they’re being ridiculous. Even if they are intentionally being hateful, they will quickly realize you won’t stand for their shit.Sep 12 0
- Microsoft NFca01Guys, get real in the real world. Stop whining and get on. If your feelings are hurt by such small things, time to grow up.
- “You’re older than I thought you were,” “what do you wear on WFH days,” the assumption I haven’t thought things through, the ol’ mansplaining, getting punished for behavior others (men) are rewarded for, being seen as not confidently stating my ideas when my male coworker doesn’t either but people listen, being told “oh that’s just basic work stuff” when asking for a promotion though it’s clearly not in my job level description...
- Tesla dizzypopYou must be one of the diversity hires, there to make the company look “better” on paper. A protected species that demands everyone around them watch their every word, or else!
- Betch please. I’m a female and my a$$ got reported to HR by a white dude for being sexist because I said “it’s easy for white men to say Trump isn’t that bad because they largely wont be affected by his policies”. the Bay Area is sensitive AF, it’s not just women.Jun 19 4
- When my SIL was pregnant, she would make my brother bring her the tea cup for her to smell before he made her her evening tea, because the dishwasher left soapy residue and my brother would lie and say it was fine. One day, he farted in the cup and held his hand over it while he walked to the living room to let her smell the cup, as she did every night. She smelled the cup and immediately looked up at him in horror and legitimately gagged from the smell. To this day it’s still their favorite couples story.Jun 20 2
- I’m a non-engineer who works with a group of all men engineers, and I feel them go out of their way to involve me, hear me, and all around make be feel included and respected. It’s not pandering or mockingly or disingenuous, but you can tell they are making concerted effort.
I came from another company where it was like walking out of an episode of Madmen. Disgusting environment.
Appreciate the hell out of my new peeps.
- Procore sundanceI have said people speak good English only when someone makes a comment about English being their second language or expressing an insecurity about their English abilities. I want to be encouraging but if their English sucks I just smile.
- Comcast G0kuNo one has said “you speak good English” but everywhere I have worked, I have felt the need to distance my work and my self from the contractors. Their work is widely assumed to be of shoddy quality and lower in impact by default. I have to try harder in communications, work presentation quality, dressing sense, who I eat lunch with etc
- What’s the way to fight it back? I feel there should be a way to work against it
- Politely but seriously check them where they stand. Takes courage but offers them a chance to walk it back, clarify or it shuts that shit down immediately.
Read the comments. Childish, bitter, immature is what you’re dealing with - frightened offline. Micro-aggression is just passive bullying of the weak. Stand up to it.Jun 26 2