Microaggressions

Taulia darknght
Jun 18 49 Comments

Did you find any cases of micro aggressions at your tech company? I feel it’s very pervasive but no one wants to talk about it. Has any one said “you speak good English” and “oh I expected you to be in user experience not backend engineering”

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TOP 49 Comments
  • Microsoft sjxnxjjs
    Snowflakes are pervasive too, no one wants to talk about this either
    Jun 18 3
  • Microsoft / Eng pingpawng
    I think people sometimes forget intent.. I've had people tell me "you speak good English" which clearly means they didn't expect me to.. But i just assume they're unaware of people of my ethnicity, perhaps because they haven't met many, and is that really their fault? In a way they're acknowledging their own ignorance and correcting it..
    Jun 18 5
    • Microsoft / Eng pingpawng
      But I've also gotten - oh you're an engineer, you should've been a PM.. That is clearly offensive..
      Jun 18
    • Microsoft sjxnxjjs
      Why PMs are somehow low class?
      Jun 18
    • Microsoft / Eng pingpawng
      Nope exactly.. Simply by looking at someone you can't assume that they're devs or PMs.. The statement makes no sense at all..
      Jun 18
    • Microsoft / Eng pingpawng
      And just to clarify.. I don't think either is "low class".. It was offensive to me coming from another dev because they meant it as "can you really code"..
      Jun 18
    • Nielsen nqED75
      Or it means you're really organized. Stop being a whiny victim.
      Jun 18
  • Amazon Bill.
    This is how I would answer those comments.

    You speak good english
    You speak good English too :)

    I expected to be in UX.
    "Why did you expect that?"
    or "I expected you would not get hired here"

    I would just make them think about it, but I wouldn't be quiet or let people get to me.
    Jun 18 2
    • The Home Depot FPQk51
      To the second one should just say “ I thought you were in UX too!!!!”.
      Jul 5
    • Indeed / Eng blindhat
      I agree with Bill. People who do things like this are often too simpleminded to fully understand micro-aggressions. It often comes from a place of being simpleminded, ignorant, or just incredibly sheltered. Don’t get bent out of shape. This is the best approach, make people think when they’re being ridiculous. Even if they are intentionally being hateful, they will quickly realize you won’t stand for their shit.
      Sep 12
  • Microsoft NFca01
    Guys, get real in the real world. Stop whining and get on. If your feelings are hurt by such small things, time to grow up.
    Jun 18 2
    • Taulia darknght
      OP
      Interesting to see your indifference towards people’s feelings. A friend of mine was told to do easy work as “pregnant woman cannot do good work”. Is that whining in your view?
      Jun 18
    • Microsoft sjxnxjjs
      Thats not whining, that’s being considerate ;)
      Jun 19
  • Expedia
    PaleoKeto

    Expedia

    BIO
    Mostly on here to snoop
    PaleoKetomore
    “You’re older than I thought you were,” “what do you wear on WFH days,” the assumption I haven’t thought things through, the ol’ mansplaining, getting punished for behavior others (men) are rewarded for, being seen as not confidently stating my ideas when my male coworker doesn’t either but people listen, being told “oh that’s just basic work stuff” when asking for a promotion though it’s clearly not in my job level description...
    Jun 18 2
    • Microsoft sjxnxjjs
      There there, here is some 🍵
      Jun 19
    • Expedia
      PaleoKeto

      Expedia

      BIO
      Mostly on here to snoop
      PaleoKetomore
      Thanks, gonna pour it on your 👌
      Jun 19
  • Tesla dizzypop
    You must be one of the diversity hires, there to make the company look “better” on paper. A protected species that demands everyone around them watch their every word, or else!
    Jun 18 2
    • Amazon Bill.
      Don't worry too much @dizzy. 🙃
      Latest census projections say that you will soon be a diversity hire yourself.
      Jun 18
    • Google / Strategy
      HoneyBoBo

      Google Strategy

      PRE
      Facebook
      HoneyBoBomore
      Betch please. I’m a female and my a$$ got reported to HR by a white dude for being sexist because I said “it’s easy for white men to say Trump isn’t that bad because they largely wont be affected by his policies”. the Bay Area is sensitive AF, it’s not just women.
      Jun 19
  • Google Methane
    A guy farted on me once.
    Jun 18 6
    • Microsoft foeow
      What if he had a fart fetish?
      Jun 20
    • Google / Product
      HoneyBoBo

      Google Product

      PRE
      Facebook
      HoneyBoBomore
      Still think it’s funny.
      Jun 20
    • Google Methane
      Farts are always funny
      Jun 20
    • Google / Product
      HoneyBoBo

      Google Product

      PRE
      Facebook
      HoneyBoBomore
      When my SIL was pregnant, she would make my brother bring her the tea cup for her to smell before he made her her evening tea, because the dishwasher left soapy residue and my brother would lie and say it was fine. One day, he farted in the cup and held his hand over it while he walked to the living room to let her smell the cup, as she did every night. She smelled the cup and immediately looked up at him in horror and legitimately gagged from the smell. To this day it’s still their favorite couples story.
      Jun 20
    • Google Methane
      That's awesome! Now that's a man! Lol
      Jun 20
  • I’m a non-engineer who works with a group of all men engineers, and I feel them go out of their way to involve me, hear me, and all around make be feel included and respected. It’s not pandering or mockingly or disingenuous, but you can tell they are making concerted effort.

    I came from another company where it was like walking out of an episode of Madmen. Disgusting environment.

    Appreciate the hell out of my new peeps.
    Jun 26 0
  • Amazon lgtmshipit
    At Amazon, micro aggression = politeness. Otherwise, we get full on aggressive.
    Jun 18 0
  • Amazon bskdja1849
    I have a tech degree. This surprised my leader who said "oh I thought you had like a liberal arts degree and just fell into this"
    Jun 18 0
  • Procore sundance
    I have said people speak good English only when someone makes a comment about English being their second language or expressing an insecurity about their English abilities. I want to be encouraging but if their English sucks I just smile.
    Jun 18 1
    • Microsoft kcif
      That’s how I interpret when people says that I speak good English.. to encourage me when I’m insecure about the words I’m choosing in English. I don’t see it badly
      Jun 18
  • Clover Health sses
    It is extremely pervasive, but the best companies I've worked at see it less when D&I helps educate people about what it is and means.
    Jun 18 0
  • Microsoft sjxnxjjs
    A guy stared in my direction for 11 seconds
    Jun 19 1
    • Taulia darknght
      OP
      Probably amazed by your sense of humor
      Jun 19
  • Comcast G0ku
    No one has said “you speak good English” but everywhere I have worked, I have felt the need to distance my work and my self from the contractors. Their work is widely assumed to be of shoddy quality and lower in impact by default. I have to try harder in communications, work presentation quality, dressing sense, who I eat lunch with etc
    Jun 18 1
  • Taulia darknght
    OP
    What’s the way to fight it back? I feel there should be a way to work against it
    Jun 18 1
    • Politely but seriously check them where they stand. Takes courage but offers them a chance to walk it back, clarify or it shuts that shit down immediately.

      Read the comments. Childish, bitter, immature is what you’re dealing with - frightened offline. Micro-aggression is just passive bullying of the weak. Stand up to it.
      Jun 26
  • Adobe VFne54
    I’m being told these often and nothing to do with gender. There is bias on race, culture, accent, gender, etc.
    Jun 18 0
  • Tektronix BazzokaGrl
    All the time.
    Jun 18 0
  • Google / Strategy
    HoneyBoBo

    Google Strategy

    PRE
    Facebook
    HoneyBoBomore
    Who caressssssssss
    Jun 19 0
  • Amazon / Eng sTOa23
    I assume in the first example the person is a native speaker? If not, there’s nothing weird about it. Second example however is just plain rude.
    Jun 18 0
  • Expedia / Eng
    xaRe06

    Expedia Eng

    PRE
    Samsung Electronics
    xaRe06more
    Because it's weird dude. Yeah, there are going to be awkward social interactions at work. You just need to move past it. Your interactions will get better once you get to know the people you work with better.
    Jun 18 0

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