Misc.

No motivation to work or do anything

Intel godzila
Mar 13

Because I am going to die anyway..

I am questioning my own existence. Suddenly everything appears to be meaningless and there is no desire to live basically.

What are you all striving for? Perhaps for your family?
What if you have no family, what would you do then?

I am single and 27. Never been interested in a relationship or getting married and raising a family. Never been in an intimate relationship. I am a good performer in my team and if I want, I can work exceedingly well. But now, I see no value in it.

I realized, all the actions I do (from the moment I wake up), is out of fear. All the drama is for my own protection and security. The world will go on without me and it was all perfectly fine before 1991. Who cares if I don't have food to eat or place to sleep? Why do we all desire money, fame, health, relationship, family etc?

Why do we desire so many things and talk so much! Why do we think what others think about us. Why do we have to wear a mask all the time?

I have spiritual interests and the only thing that makes sense to me is to follow the path of a great saint (read about him and his teachings last year).

I just want to run away. But no matter where I go I will take my mind along, so i could just stay where I am currently and still continue to practice his teaching. But my current lifestyle is bothering me too much (focus is too much on money, internal politics, career development and material things) and I just want to get out of this...

Sometimes, I feel like I can just go somewhere (probably my native country) and start fresh. I would like a very peaceful life (true that when you have inner peace nothing else will effect you.. but I am going in search for my own peace) where I don't have to rush to work every morning. Away from technology.. perhaps settle down in a small town or village and I can teach kids there or something, help as many people in ways I can. I would like to be invisible and lead an anonymous life.

And with this mental attitude, I don't think I will be a fit in US. I was just wondering if anyone felt the same.. what did you do?

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  • Facebook Vcf014
    Am going through this right now. I didn't know how to put it into words, but your post resonated with me quite a bit.

    I feel overwhelmed with work and feel like I've been doing my job just out of fear like you said.

    Lost someone close to me recently, which has made me question even more why we spend so much time at work.
    Mar 131
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      I lost someone close to me too. Death is certain. Which makes me question why I am doing what I am doing, even more..
      Mar 14
  • Microsoft
    MP3

    Microsoft

    BIO
    Troll living under the I-5 overpass
    MP3more
    “Suddenly everything appears to be meaningless and there is no desire to live basically.”

    Meaningless means lack of meaning, absence of meaning. It is like a blank page. Do you think a microbe needs to create meaning in its life in order to live, or that it simply lives? It loves a meaningless life because it isn’t aware of there must be a meaning to it.

    Depending on culture, upbringing, individual interests, that blank page gets filled with meaning relevant to the person at the given moment in time. Meaningless isn’t a bad negative thing, but absolute and total freedom of choice.

    “I can work exceedingly well. But now, I see no value in it.”

    You’re followed the meaning created for you by your culture, current culture, media, parents, friends, yourself, etc, and it worked great for you before but it anymore. It doesn’t mean life is over, it simply means you realized you’re no longer ok following your existing meanings, beliefs and behavioral programs and hence the existential crisis where you start to look for new meaning in life.

    “I realized, all the actions I do (from the moment I wake up), is out of fear. All the drama is for my own protection and security.”

    You’re using your rational mind to solve (potential) problems. You know you need retirement savings, you plan for it. You know you need a new job, you plan for it.... You know you need to enjoy life, so you plan for it. But it doesn’t work this way. If you are forcing yourself to love something it is not real love. Therefore if you want you life to root not in your rational mind and fear, it needs to root in life itself, in its inherent existence. Small children are full of vitality and excitement of life. Why? Because they are curious, they are learning, they are loving it. But as you grow older you learn more, you start to think more, analyze more, and some lose that spark of life. You can get it back. There is an inherent property to life, in feeling of depth/space, awareness, where you can find joy in simply being. It changes how you think. You perceive life differently.

    “Why do we desire so many things and talk so much! Why do we think what others think about us. Why do we have to wear a mask all the time?”

    This is a byproduct of democratic society where each person is equal. If you’re not rich, it is because you chose to not be rich. If you don’t have a gf, it is because you chose it. If you’re a drug addict, same story. And so you’re either a loser, you’ve made it, or you’re on your way to making it. This leads to constant personal dissatisfaction of one’s existing life as no matter what you achieve there is more. In a society of never ending progress and wants there is no room for enjoying life simply for what it is. Watch “Status Anxiety” documentary on YouTube.

    “I just want to run away. But no matter where I go I will take my mind along, so i could just stay where I am currently and still continue to practice his teaching.”

    There is a school of Dzogchen that specifically teaches you how to move past the non-dualistic, logical, cause-and-effect thinking, to make peace with the analytical mind and use it as a tool.

    “Sometimes, I feel like I can just go somewhere (probably my native country) and start fresh.”

    You can, and it might bring you what you’re looking for. However here your goal isn’t to start a fresh life but to feel OK. You goal isn’t fresh life in itself, but a feeling you want to feel within.

    “what did you do?”

    Find new meaning in life by following my intuition. I take the feeling of that meaninglessness and look at it very closely, observe it, and it becomes my teacher.
    Mar 133
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      Thanks for a great answer :)
      "There is an inherent property to life, in feeling of depth/space, where you can find joy in simply being. It changes how you think. You perceive life differently."
      Mar 13
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      How do you go on with your day-to-day activities with that feeling of meaninglessness?
      Mar 13
    • Microsoft
      MP3

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Troll living under the I-5 overpass
      MP3more
      I don’t have that feeling anymore. Once I truly internalized/understood what it means to seek meaning, to create meaning, to have meaning, then I realized it is nothing but a thought. If you weren’t aware that you needed some sort of meaning in your life then you wouldn’t seek it in the first place. Of course, I may still ask myself “what’s meaningful?”, but in a practical sense, more like “what am I to do now in this moment?” as opposed to existential “what am I to do with my whole life?”

      When you’re having fun, are enjoying your life, in that moment do you ask the question “what’s meaningful? What am I to do with my life?” or are you simply loving and enjoying life? Find something fun to do and your feeling of meaningless disappears in an instant. But sit still and let your mind wander and suddenly you need meaning in your life.

      Do a simple exercise. When you feel like you need meaning, tell yourself “From now on I will serve all of humanity in the best way possible!” and see if that helps you. It won’t. It’ll make you feel more miserable. Because you’ll feel like not only is your life still meaningless, but now you are also forcing yourself to do good, and it comes with a sense of resentment towards all those you’d be helping. 😉 You’re not looking for meaning itself, you’re looking for a sense of complete engagement and interest with the world.
      Mar 13
  • Microsoft maxiam
    You are burned out bro.
    Mar 130
  • Intel selectfrom
    Honestly, you need to get laid. More seriously, you need to get into a relationship. You will have some motivation to do things. Even more seriously, nothing is stopping you from going to back to your home and start teaching underpriviledged kids. Just go.
    Mar 131
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      Happiness is the goal of mankind. Your suggestions give temporary happiness/satisfaction. I have come to understand nothing in this world can provide true happiness but ourselves.

      Some kind of fear/uncertainity is stopping me, as of now. That's why I am asking how others had the courage, if they did it.
      Mar 13
  • eBay abababbb
    I go through this relatively frequently, in cycles..I guess questioning life and meaning of it is part of being smart and gives you the potential to change stuff in your life. You don’t want to realize you fucked up just when it’s too late..I learned to see this as a positive thing that helps me grow but the process can be painful..I guess the important part is not to ignore what your guts tell you and try to act on them as long as it’s reasonable..change job..leave for a long trip..experience something new..that’s the conclusion I reached so far but it’s evolving
    Mar 130
  • Twitch RbOv54
    But first. Tc and yoe plz. Thx
    Mar 132
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      Does it really matter if my TC is 500k or 50k..
      Mar 14
    • Twitch RbOv54
      Yes, on Blind, it's tc or gtfo
      6d
  • Accenture / DataGachon
    Lol. I'm your age in the same boat working out of the bay area thinking the same thing. If someone came to me and said I will give you 75k to travel and teach for only a few hours of the day, I would do it in a heartbeat. Sitting down staring at a screen and fixing code line by line is daunting when you think about how much it consumes your life.
    Mar 130
  • Microsoft naaam
    You're not alone. I'm exactly the same as you. Thoughts of running away to Yukon cross my mind often 😔
    Mar 130
  • Autodesk VoPr12
    Hey man keep your head up, you’ll get through this. I’ve definitely been there before, and am kinda there now. I’m not sure if it will help you at all, but someone mentioned the myth of sisyphus by the French philosopher one time, and I found it to be a really good perspective bump for me. Not sure if it will mean much to you, but maybe check it out. For me, the main thing that helps is to consume myself with a hobby/friends outside of work. Hope you get through this man. Feel free to DM.
    Mar 131
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      Thanks, I'll check it out.
      Mar 13
  • PayPal mnm3
    I used to get these thoughts for more than 3 years. And now I am back to normal. I started helping the poor and needy, with donations, giving guidances and volunteering . which gave me much relief and a sense of usefulness in what I am. Yes, I did take help from the psychiatric Dr.
    Mar 131
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      I think we are conditioned very much that we say our life in this society, the way we are living as 'normal'..
      Mar 13
  • Salesforce hfgnntunv
    we all have been there, I know ai was and sometimes I go to those places still.
    I would strongly recommend to build up support system. Better yet, start by seeking professional help, I am sure your company or insurance covers some counseling. Just go talk to someone, there is no shame in that.

    Feel free to dm me if you just want to chat
    Mar 132
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      Why do you think I need help?
      Mar 13
    • Salesforce hfgnntunv
      Well, you are here, asking for advice on how to deal with it, aren’t you?

      I am not an expert but that you described sounds a lot like burn out, maybe even depression.

      I don’t know about intel, but Salesforce offer 8 counseling sessions in which you can discuss anything you want. It’s through 3rd parry provider and totally confidential. I used them, and it was huge help to just talk about things out loud.
      Just see if your company offers anything like that.
      Mar 13
  • Booking.com Mr.4
    People will try to treat you like you are sick. You are not. It is normal. Trim down your desires such as money and aim for a simple, healthy and invisible life.
    Mar 131
    • Booking.com Mr.4
      Relocate to Europe: it’s great for those things, except money :)
      Mar 13
  • MathWorks / EnggpJv07
    I found a lot of solace in this awesome George Elliot quote from the last page of Middlemarch, hope it rings true in you as well "...for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs"
    Mar 130
  • Axtria DesiLaunda
    I thought about this sometimes too, but then I started paying attention to how much people valued me. I may be a small particle in this universe but I don't want to be big anyway. If getting out of the rat race is your calling, take a few days off and try it. For me, people keep me going. A beautiful family, close friends, and good colleagues. I want to meet them often, together they mean a lot to me. Feel free to ping me if you need a friend or just someone to talk.
    Mar 130
  • Gusto YQkh12
    If you can afford taking some time off to travel or live abroad for a month or more, I recommend it. There are a lot of options to live places for free and volunteer your time during the day. You can teach, build, farm, etc.
    Mar 130
  • LinkedIn nobody7
    Find a non-profit organization to do some volunteering work
    Mar 130
  • Facebook
    machghost

    Facebook

    BIO
    that would be telling
    machghostmore
    “I am single and 27. Never been interested in a relationship or getting married and raising a family. Never been in an intimate relationship.”

    ^^ how do you feel about this part? Is “never been interested” for real, or is this something that you want to change?
    Mar 141
    • Intel godzila
      OP
      I don't actively seek a relationship. A few were interested but our aspirations didn't match. That said, if I 'happen' to find the right person who can be a lifelong companion, I am open to it.
      Mar 14
  • Indeed akducu
    I have recently gone through this. Send me a direct message
    Mar 131
  • Mode DvVM00
    take up a sport or an adrenaline or endorphin inducing hobby. skydiving, cycling, running
    Mar 140
  • Indeed akducu
    Or I guess reply below to remind me to get back to you later
    Mar 130

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