Not Attracted to Husband

Microsoft / Other abcde4
Jun 23 185 Comments

Husband is very loving, but I'm just not attracted to him. I love my husband. I convinced him that I need to move to Seattle for my job, but I just wanted to avoid anything to do with intimacy as I didn't want to confront this topic. Having been in Seattle for over 6 months now, I have made a lot of guy friends, and I'm really attracted to this guy from Amazon. Breaking up with my husband will break him.

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TOP 185 Comments
  • Amazon iAI
    Does this Amazon guy know you are married? You are a cheater, and your husband does not deserve you. Hang out with this new guy till he dumps.
    Jun 23 5
    • Microsoft / Other abcde4
      OP
      He knows but he is much more open minded than my husband.
      Jun 23
    • Amazon iAI
      Ofcourse he is open minded, you are not his wife.
      Jun 23
    • Berkeley Lab paba
      Open minded until he finds another attractive chick with or without a husband. Your move is a wrong one
      Jun 23
    • Google dumbfcuk
      He is open minded only when he lets his wife fuck someone.

      Actually he sounds very intelligent he gets to fuck you and get credit for being open minded!!
      Jun 23
    • New
      memegen@

      New

      PRE
      Amazon, Facebook, Google
      memegen@more
      Abcde4 was born yesterday
      Jul 2
  • Huawei / Product mzws
    Herm, you love your husband but not attracted to him?.. I think you should really take some personal off time and clearly think
    Jun 23 7
    • Netflix AQhA27
      Husband is friendzoned.
      Jun 23
    • Leanplum pastaman
      Have you tried rough sex?
      Jun 23
    • Axtria DesiLaunda
      Can I have your husband? I am gay.
      Jun 23
    • Cisco BoomBlues
      ^axtria will seduce your hubby and steal him away from you. You can continue the romance with the Seattle dude. Hubby wants a divorce for his new found interest. Win-win!
      Jun 23
    • Wells Fargo seeyeeyeo
      He is too nice?? I live in Silicon Valley and I know a woman just like that. This guy(her boyfriend) would constantly clean kitchen and make food for her. She broke up with him. Now almost three years later she regrets making that decision and does not have any steady relationship.

      Don't cheat but do speak to him and break up amicably.
      Jun 24
  • Berkeley Lab paba
    Where is that commitment when you get married? If you cannot even make it, why start a family? Remember, Karma is a B
    Jun 23 15
    • Leanplum pastaman
      Dude of course it's not a "law".
      But I am much more comfortable being a dick to someone who has shown dick-like behavior before. And many people are the same. Hence, if you're a dick, the likelihood that people will be dicks to you is much higher.
      Dumbass
      Jun 23
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Amazon ChivalryAF
      It’s funny how you both call me names because I disagree with your opinion. I’m laughing over here.
      Jun 23
    • Google dumbfcuk
      Brainfreeze!! Can we get back to sexy oral
      stuff she was talking about
      Jun 23
    • Oracle / R&D
      uuummmmm

      Oracle R&D

      PRE
      500 Startups
      BIO
      no nonsense guy 😂😎
      uuummmmmmore
      @ChivalryAF --
      ofcourse it is definitly Newton's laws.
      3rd one - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

      Clearly you have a rationale for all things happening in your life.
      put your dunce cap back.
      Jun 30
  • Google ugHc25
    What's each parties TC?
    Jun 23 8
    • Salesforce / Eng Gjjdhjekej
      Can u push to do more leetcode? Never expected leetcode save Indian marriages :)
      Jun 23
    • Microsoft shambu
      Leetcode can especially save Indian marriages. If husband's TC was 🌲 fiddy, this gal wouldn't even be looking 😂
      Jun 23
    • Thank god that her husband's TC is not that high because if it was high then this girl might have stayed with that poor guy just for 💰 and bang different guys all around seatle.

      Lady please tell your husband that you want to end this relationship so that he can find a better person to continue his life and you can contine your banging.
      Jun 23
    • Amazon Bill.
      You have to find out BF TC first before making a decision.
      You may see him differently after.
      Jun 23
    • Amazon / Eng unionset
      Well he works at amazon so his TC is definitely more than the 115 her husband is bringing in. Still shouldn’t base a decision on TC alone. But yeah regardless she should leave her husband since she’s already found a side hustle
      Jun 23
  • Microsoft / Other abcde4
    OP
    What should I do?
    Jun 23 5
    • F5 Networks indian in
      Troll post for sure. Some sadistic pleasure some people derive from such posts.

      Usually starts like this - i am unhappy with husband. Screwing a firang. Had arranged marriage. What to do?
      Jun 23
    • Cisco Infensus
      The needful
      Jun 23
    • F5 Networks indian in
      Yup. Do the needful!
      Jun 23
    • Roku
      nutcra

      Roku

      PRE
      Yahoo
      nutcramore
      Do whatever you are currently doing, the extra martial affair.
      Jun 23
    • Google / Data noobler
      Threesome ?
      Jun 23
  • Salesforce / Eng Gjjdhjekej
    Yeah. I think it's better u leave him otherwise u screw him a lot. Have proper discussion. Tell him I am still thinking like teenage girl, and u deserve better. Or hook him up with better option. Win - win
    Jun 23 0
  • Cisco webecisco
    Uhhhh. Before you do anything end it with the husband. Don’t say you love him, you don’t. You’re everything we men do prenuptial agreements for.
    Jun 23 1
  • Twilio APIs FTW
    Gfys.
    Jun 23 0
  • Amazon
    weeeeeeee

    Amazon

    BIO
    AWS
    weeeeeeeemore
    If I understand you correctly, you want to move to Seattle to hang out with amazon guy behind your husband’s back?
    Jun 23 6
    • Amazon
      weeeeeeee

      Amazon

      BIO
      AWS
      weeeeeeeemore
      Definitely break up with your husband then, wtf?
      Jun 23
    • Booking.com / Other
      ɐᴉpǝdxƎ

      Booking.com Other

      BIO
      🤬🤪🥴🥺🤫😜🤦‍♂️
      ɐᴉpǝdxƎmore
      "hang out" equals to had sex?
      Jun 23
    • Google Naxnax
      Does it really matter what hang out means. Even if its a coffee date, its bad
      Jun 23
    • Booking.com / Other
      ɐᴉpǝdxƎ

      Booking.com Other

      BIO
      🤬🤪🥴🥺🤫😜🤦‍♂️
      ɐᴉpǝdxƎmore
      Not really. Having sex with the guy is at least friends with benefit. A coffee date is just a casual meeting with a friend or acquittance
      Jun 23
    • Clover Health sses
      Someone doesn't believe in emotional cheating.
      Jun 24
  • Wayfair / Eng
    lLmi30

    Wayfair Eng

    PRE
    Wayfair, Cognizant, Tech Mahindra
    BIO
    software engineer
    lLmi30more
    How old are you?
    Jun 23 0
  • In your vows did you say “till death do us part”? Did you mean it?

    Go with me on this, I hope it can be of some use. Attraction is all in your mind. There is nothing physical about it. It’s all nerve endings and such firing off telling your body that you are aroused. So. You have to reset your brain. First, you have to decide that divorce isn’t an option. It is off the table. Once you set that firm conviction, your mind will conform to that belief. The reason you are dealing with the grass is greener syndrome is because intimacy is deeper than physicality. Physical attraction is the most shallow feeling of desire. Attraction grows in random with trust and vulnerability. When you can trust your partner to be there for you in your ugliest moments and they have shown that nothing in all of heaven or hell could drag them from you, you have a bond that is of true substance and value. And in that space of trust and commitment, attraction grows, because this is your human. This is your person. You have chosen to love them when it ain’t easy, when their fat ass is downing twinkies after they lost their job and are mourning that ish (aka pity party), you have gone through tough times together and that solidifies your friendship. The fastest way to become madly in love is to stop looking elsewhere for what you already have in spades.

    My fiancé and I have been together through the death of my sister, my brother grand theft autoing my car (and crashing it.. idiot.), me losing my good job and having to work for 7.25/hr with long days and nights, 2 years of long distance, me overcoming a porn addiction, her parents hating me, me going to a coding boot camp coding 14+ hours a day for 3 months, eating ramen, bagels and spaghetti to be able to land a job, get paid mad money, prove to her parents that I can provide for their daughter, oh, all the while working through my ptsd. I found my person and we have gone through hell a time or two and there is nothing hotter than that women that loves me like crazy and has shown it, not by dressing all saucy on a Friday night, but by fighting for us day in day out.

    Is that melodramatic? you’re damn right it is, but marriage is the real thing and it is beautiful, hard and always worth it.

    Anywho, blessings,

    Yeti.
    Jun 24 10
    • Taylor Farms pipp
      Yeti, totally unrelated. How long ago did you do bootcamp ?
      Jun 24
    • Hello! I started in August and finish in November (2018). I went to DevMountain.
      Jun 24
    • Taylor Farms pipp
      Do you mind if I DM you with regards to that? I may be up for a similar journey and would appreciate any information.
      Jun 24
    • Go for it! I’d love to discuss more.
      Jun 24
    • Taylor Farms pipp
      Thank you. Just DM’d you!
      Jun 24
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Amazon
      weeeeeeee

      Amazon

      BIO
      AWS
      weeeeeeeemore
      I am interested to hear how “female attraction works” though, if it’s a static universal thing
      Jun 23
    • Microsoft kebabs
      Cheating, as in emotional cheating rather than physical? She didn’t say she put out for the other guy yet
      Jun 23
    • Apple / Eng tWBu16
      Just a reminder: you are your own person. You don’t have an obligation to be faithful to anyone, not even your husband. If you think you would be better off leaving your husband for this other dude, why not go for it?
      Jun 23
    • Microsoft
      Hodor

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Expedia Group
      Hodormore
      @tWBu16 plot twist: OP is your wife
      Jun 23
    • eBay five100
      tWBu16 this is YOLO bs. Why did she marry him if she had to leave, he has not done anything wrong? What if after 5 years she wants someone new. No one has the right to waste life if someone else.
      Jun 24
  • Tesla / Eng wravsy
    You could have just told this to me. Why did you post it here? Did you think I'm dumb not have a blind account?
    Jun 23 4
    • Wayfair / Eng
      lLmi30

      Wayfair Eng

      PRE
      Wayfair, Cognizant, Tech Mahindra
      BIO
      software engineer
      lLmi30more
      Lol classic
      Jun 23
    • New / Cust. Srv. Yuqv51
      Omg are you for real ?
      Jun 23
    • Google dumbfcuk
      Omfg this just got hilarious... I thot op is intelligent enough to use different city names and different componies.. well 🍿

      We are making history here. First blind post to be used in court for divorce
      Jun 23
    • Berkeley Lab paba
      That says so much about Tesla
      Jun 23
  • Salesforce / Eng Gjjdhjekej
    Cool. Who said Indian girls aren't developed when compared to West. Proud of u my girl :). Do what makes u happy; just be considerate of others. The cost is lot though for attraction - but again I guess the other party might treat u the same at some point and I am sure you won't be as attractive u r right now.
    Jun 23 7
    • Microsoft / Other abcde4
      OP
      Yep, shaadi.com
      Jun 23
    • eBay
      J Snow

      eBay

      PRE
      eBay
      J Snowmore
      Wtf did I just read, Salesforce? Is this your definition of “developed”? Are you fucking dumb?
      Jun 23
    • Salesforce / Eng Gjjdhjekej
      Haha. I am being sarcastic...
      Jun 23
    • Microsoft shambu
      Indian girls in the West are 😂😂
      Jun 23
    • eBay five100
      Indian girls going Wild Wild West😂
      Jun 24
  • Google / Eng
    sqrt(-1)

    Google Eng

    BIO
    Top Contributor or GTFO
    sqrt(-1)more
    I knew it! The moment you started with the bullshit about moving to Seattle I knew it. Do whatever you want baby. I don't care anymore.
    Btw, I've been fucking Sarah all this time. Best of luck.
    Jun 23 0
  • Facebook tGTv63
    This is a guy thats bored and has nothing better to do. Stop wasting your energy.
    Looks like a lot of people got triggered, good job trolling OP
    Jun 23 0
  • eBay
    J Snow

    eBay

    PRE
    eBay
    J Snowmore
    Right now what you are doing is called infidelity. You know what get a divorce because your husband deserves better than this. Win win situation, no?
    Jun 23 5
    • Microsoft / Other abcde4
      OP
      It'll break him. He has done so much for me, and if I now leave for some other guy, he'll kill himself.
      Jun 23
    • eBay
      J Snow

      eBay

      PRE
      eBay
      J Snowmore
      Knowing you are fooling around with someone else is going to break him even more. And anyway you cannot have the best of both worlds forever. Things will get ugly at some point, save yourself before that.
      Jun 23
    • Leanplum pastaman
      Don't leave him "for some other guy". Just leave him. In fact, leave both men for like 3 months. Then see if you really prefer your husband or the new dude or maybe none of them at all.
      Jun 23
    • Amazon
      llpp

      Amazon

      BIO
      “Life has no meaning. That’s why there’s love.”
      llppmore
      No it won’t OP. You’re not that great, trust me
      Jun 23
    • New
      memegen@

      New

      PRE
      Amazon, Facebook, Google
      memegen@more
      Come on OP. Do him a favor. Just leave.
      Jul 2
  • Oracle iOFR21
    Its always better to marry someone who loves you rather than marry someone you love. I dont know your age, but after your divorce am 95% sure a time will come when you will regret this decision. But its your life so you have the power to make your life choices.
    Jun 23 2
    • Optum / Eng hqt
      Exactly what I was going to say. There will be a time when the attraction for the new guy will end as well. That's when reality will hit
      Jun 23
    • Cisco BoomBlues
      95 seems to be too accurate :/
      Jun 23
  • Amazon ChivalryAF
    Is your husband out of shape?
    Jun 23 6
    • Amazon ChivalryAF
      Would it help if he was muscular?
      Jun 23
    • Microsoft / Other abcde4
      OP
      Nope.
      Jun 23
    • And how is your shape op? A little underweight?
      Jun 23
    • My guess, a little heavy, aunty type with hair. Common in southern India.
      Jun 23
    • Booking.com / Other
      ɐᴉpǝdxƎ

      Booking.com Other

      BIO
      🤬🤪🥴🥺🤫😜🤦‍♂️
      ɐᴉpǝdxƎmore
      Who has a bigger winkie?
      Jun 23
  • Marvell sowjeg145
    Lot of these depends on your culture and background... What is right for an American may not be right for an Indian.. the values differ a lot... You cannot get a well suited advice here as this forum has people from all cultures
    Jun 23 3
    • Cisco webecisco
      She’s in the US and not India yes? Culture or not some states have laws where she can lose everything and it would be well deserved if she’s cheated on him.
      Jun 23
    • Marvell sowjeg145
      Law is different from sense of morality and values.

      Also, being in US doesn't restrict anybody to follow value system of their choice. It is land of free. Oh, yeah.. you mean "native american" culture? It is extinct when Columbus landed on this continent.
      Jun 23
    • Cisco webecisco
      My family is Native American, do go on. Law is law regardless of values, culture. When you are in a host country you will abide then full stop.
      Jun 24