Husband is very loving, but I'm just not attracted to him. I love my husband. I convinced him that I need to move to Seattle for my job, but I just wanted to avoid anything to do with intimacy as I didn't want to confront this topic. Having been in Seattle for over 6 months now, I have made a lot of guy friends, and I'm really attracted to this guy from Amazon. Breaking up with my husband will break him.
TOP 186 Comments
- Amazon iAIDoes this Amazon guy know you are married? You are a cheater, and your husband does not deserve you. Hang out with this new guy till he dumps.
- Where is that commitment when you get married? If you cannot even make it, why start a family? Remember, Karma is a B
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- Huawei / Product mzwsHerm, you love your husband but not attracted to him?.. I think you should really take some personal off time and clearly think
- Wells Fargo seeyeeyeoHe is too nice?? I live in Silicon Valley and I know a woman just like that. This guy(her boyfriend) would constantly clean kitchen and make food for her. She broke up with him. Now almost three years later she regrets making that decision and does not have any steady relationship.
Don't cheat but do speak to him and break up amicably.Jun 24 4
- Thank god that her husband's TC is not that high because if it was high then this girl might have stayed with that poor guy just for 💰 and bang different guys all around seatle.
Lady please tell your husband that you want to end this relationship so that he can find a better person to continue his life and you can contine your banging.Jun 23 18
- Uhhhh. Before you do anything end it with the husband. Don’t say you love him, you don’t. You’re everything we men do prenuptial agreements for.
- If I understand you correctly, you want to move to Seattle to hang out with amazon guy behind your husband’s back?
- In your vows did you say “till death do us part”? Did you mean it?
Go with me on this, I hope it can be of some use. Attraction is all in your mind. There is nothing physical about it. It’s all nerve endings and such firing off telling your body that you are aroused. So. You have to reset your brain. First, you have to decide that divorce isn’t an option. It is off the table. Once you set that firm conviction, your mind will conform to that belief. The reason you are dealing with the grass is greener syndrome is because intimacy is deeper than physicality. Physical attraction is the most shallow feeling of desire. Attraction grows in random with trust and vulnerability. When you can trust your partner to be there for you in your ugliest moments and they have shown that nothing in all of heaven or hell could drag them from you, you have a bond that is of true substance and value. And in that space of trust and commitment, attraction grows, because this is your human. This is your person. You have chosen to love them when it ain’t easy, when their fat ass is downing twinkies after they lost their job and are mourning that ish (aka pity party), you have gone through tough times together and that solidifies your friendship. The fastest way to become madly in love is to stop looking elsewhere for what you already have in spades.
My fiancé and I have been together through the death of my sister, my brother grand theft autoing my car (and crashing it.. idiot.), me losing my good job and having to work for 7.25/hr with long days and nights, 2 years of long distance, me overcoming a porn addiction, her parents hating me, me going to a coding boot camp coding 14+ hours a day for 3 months, eating ramen, bagels and spaghetti to be able to land a job, get paid mad money, prove to her parents that I can provide for their daughter, oh, all the while working through my ptsd. I found my person and we have gone through hell a time or two and there is nothing hotter than that women that loves me like crazy and has shown it, not by dressing all saucy on a Friday night, but by fighting for us day in day out.
Is that melodramatic? you’re damn right it is, but marriage is the real thing and it is beautiful, hard and always worth it.
- That’s a great question. The moment I realized that
1. I was compulsively viewing porn + masturbating. I couldn’t stop it. I was no longer choosing, it was choosing for me. I became a slave to the dopamine hit.
2. It was affecting my view of women, seeing them not as humans to be loved/respected, but is a objects purely for sexual pleasure and fantasy
3. My thoughts became increasingly violent and dark as I sought rougher and more fringe kinks to maintain the same level of dopamine release.
4. The amount of time spent watching and the energy drained subsequently damaged my relationships and work performance
Men will say they can entertain it every once in a while and not see any negative side affects, but, I can and will (if you want) dismantle every argument in favor of porn viewing.
Also, thanks, man. My mad money isn’t Amazon money, but the moment I get envious $7.25/hr pops in my head and keeps me grounded.Jun 24 4
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- Tesla / Eng wravsyYou could have just told this to me. Why did you post it here? Did you think I'm dumb not have a blind account?
- Cool. Who said Indian girls aren't developed when compared to West. Proud of u my girl :). Do what makes u happy; just be considerate of others. The cost is lot though for attraction - but again I guess the other party might treat u the same at some point and I am sure you won't be as attractive u r right now.
- Right now what you are doing is called infidelity. You know what get a divorce because your husband deserves better than this. Win win situation, no?
- Oracle iOFR21Its always better to marry someone who loves you rather than marry someone you love. I dont know your age, but after your divorce am 95% sure a time will come when you will regret this decision. But its your life so you have the power to make your life choices.
- Lot of these depends on your culture and background... What is right for an American may not be right for an Indian.. the values differ a lot... You cannot get a well suited advice here as this forum has people from all cultures
- Amazon jQpf16I am not as attracted to my husband as I was to some of my exes, the sex is meh. BUT.... I love him and that love has nothing to do with my lack of physical attraction to him ( he is effing good looking, and extremely nice, I am not attracted to nice, I am attracted to bad, drama and losers who are mean and keep me keen). Luckily for me, I recognise that the shortcoming is in me and not in my husband. He is a gentle soul, dedicated to me and I am dedicated to him. I know I love him because even though the sex is lame, there is noone else i would be with than him, I would never do anything to make him sad and I dont allow myself to be attracted to other men. Love works in mysterious ways and if you care about the person and dont want to operate from a selfish space, you can have a beautiful relationship. or given in to dumb attraction bounce around from loser to loser and end up alone,
- Lyft qCbJ38Jesus, what a bunch of insecure men here calling you names.
You live once. If you had to move to Seattle to get sway from your husband,
I think you have your answer.
As for the new guy, do not divorce your husband for him, do it for yourself and no one else. The new guy might not stick around, so make sure you are comfortable with being divorced and single, because that might end up being the situation.
- Troll post for sure. Some sadistic pleasure some people derive from such posts.
Usually starts like this - i am unhappy with husband. Screwing a firang. Had arranged marriage. What to do?
- Stupid girl. Should have had you fun before marriage. Now you want to have fun, Amazon boy will not marry you, current husband oh well.... you guys are screwed. Don’t have kids.
- New hiLE11Common issue in indian couples. This may help. You are looking for intimacy outlet and not want to hinder your marriage. I have been a third/bull for many indian couples in bay area. The wife wants to experience hot sex back again which she may or may not have had back home. The hubby loves his wife so he agrees to it and he also enjoys it once she gets a bull/third whom all can trust. PM me if you have question.
Look into reddit subs it can really help this situation.
- Is the amazon guy married? Please think before you decide. Amazon guy might fuck you if given the opportunity but not marry you. I am guessing you don’t want to end up being alone? Even if he is marrying you I see a red flag in his character. It’s very unlikely it will last.
- From your responses OP, sounds like you should make use of the mental health resources your employer provides. That's not intended to be an attack in any way, I mean it. This situation is clearly stressing you out. Talk it over with a professional and so you can resolve it.
That said, why is your husband being nice to you unattractive?
- Attraction is purely mental, not physical. If you leave your marriage instruct your brain to value instant gratification over long term commitment. Eventually you will want your brain to value long term commitment, but it won’t because you trained it not to work through adversity, but to leave at the first sign of trouble.
If you choose to have an affair you show yourself that loyalty, trust and commitment have zero value to you. You show that your word is worthless.
You can tell yourself you deserve love, affection and affirmation, but ultimately you don’t. If you aren’t willing to choose to love, then you aren’t worthy of another’s love. Especially when you vowed to choose that human day in and day out.
- Haha, exactly! People subconsciously create neural pathways in the grey matter of their brain to leave/affair at the first sign of trouble and wonder why they can’t sustain a relationship.
People demonize commitment all the while begging for something fulfilling.
What satisfies our soul is not found in the quick fling, it’s in the tried and true friendship that only time and trust can produce.
- Google / Eng chri35All the cucks who say Indian girls are more faithful and arranged marriage is the best low divorce rate check this thread
- Yr marriage is over just break up
With yr husband. It’s his responsibility to figure out to how to live without you.
- Intuit LowtcoGet the divorce and do your thing. Your husband is probably not happy either and the divorce will allow him to find someone that appreciates him. The notion of commitment for life is outdated and unrealistic.
- Amazon kmcY20Damn, not sure what's up with the hate. I didn't know Blind was so conservative, it's almost like OP just mentioned this at church. OP, you should leave your husband. Yes it will be difficult, but life is too damned short to give a spousal amount of time to someone you don't love. (you should leave even if you think Amazon BF won't work out) Also, even if you think husband will be broken by being left, the duration of your life is too high a price to pay. We are not responsible for safeguarding others' fragility with our lives.
- LinkedIn cd-You love your husband, but does not attract to him. 🤔 Are you gay? I’m pretty sure women doesn’t work that way.
- If you’re not attracted to him physically and there’s nothing he can do about it, just break up with him. It has nothing to do with this other guy you’re seeing.
Granted, you did break trust by seeing the other guy, which is shitty of you. But that has nothing to do with your not being attracted to him.
- I think a lot of it is in the mind, and a lot of actually physical.
For example you may be initially physically attracted to a conventionally beautiful woman, but if she causes you a lot of stress and hardship and ill feelings, you could be repulsed seeing her.
The opposite may be true as well. But in either case, OP was apparently never physically attracted to her husband, and actually moved away to avoid intimacy with him.
I mean, maybe her husband causes her stress or isn’t attractive due to some of his actions or his personality, in which case the problem is solvable, but we don’t have enough information to say that.
I mean presumably OP would’ve attempted to work on her husband and convince him to be more “attractive” to her before moving to Seattle. Know what I mean?Jun 25 0
- There is an element to it that is physical, yes. However, I’m more inclined to question the OP’s mental and emotional health. If your solution to avoiding intimacy with someone who is very loving towards you (as the OP points out) is to move states... Well, friend, you’ve got some skeletons to drag out of the closet.
The OP should take a peek inward and learn why she is going to such great lengths to prevent vulnerability. You could say, “well, this is very situational and she probably doesn’t respond this way to other things”. And you would be wrong in saying that because our reactions don’t exist in a vacuum chamber. They bleed in to every choice we make.
At best OP is has zero integrity and their word means nothing and at worst they have some deep seeded trauma repulsing then from true connection and intimacy.Jun 26 0
- Barclays PLC FAANGHNTERAnnul your marriage. Do you think he did not pick this up? Give him a chance with someone who can fulfil him.