How to defeat mid life crisis? I'm turning 40, can't stand the daily s**t shows at the office, TC barely 270 after > 15 years of this work, have a house in east bay, can't afford Palo Alto/los gatos etc. Starting to feel I've wasted my life getting the equivalent life that someone in the Midwest would have working at McDonald's.
Count what you have. Not what you don't have. You have unfulfilled dreams. So what?
Transfer to the Bellevue office.
Agree with Rhp. How would you feel if tomorrow you don’t have the job? Or your TC decreases significantly? What if you have to travel for work and you can’t play with your daughter every single weekend? Every situation is prone to get worse. Always. There are a lot of people who would love to be in your shoes. People with no family. Earning the minimum and working two jobs. I know it’s not easy to be positive when you are down but maybe try to see a little bit of silver lining? Good luck.
Yeah! Give up on your dreams and live for others. Just remember there are people worse than you. Great advice.
Dreams are overrated in the western culture. It's okay to not achieve everything you wanted. He has plenty of positives to work with here.
Get out of Bay area and start living a life. Tech and career are not everything which bay area people seems to focus on. There is more to life and your 20s and 30s go in a blink. Don’t waste your precious young (well sort of) life for the sake of saving which you won’t be able to spend for you. Your saving may give you some cushion in later life but at that age, you will be willing to spend a million if you can have a week as 30 year old. That is what I don’t understand about these frugal Bay people. If you don’t live a life now, you will forever stuck in this and will certainly regret when you hit 40 and over. Spending money and living a good life at young age is worth millions of dollars of saving. If you work work work and live in a shitty house until you hit 40, the chances are you will never be able to live in a good house for variety of reasons. Once you become old, you don’t like a new challenge or moving or losing money etc. that will be a vicious cycle of regretting not living a life but can’t get out of this habit.
Sorry OP, even this guy forgot you exist and immediately after deciding to reply.
Be glad you have 270k
Appreciate what you have, count your blessings, bc there are people who don’t have what you have. Material things & money come and go. Set goals that you want to achieve and make them happen. If you don’t like where you’re at right now, make changes. I assume maybe priorities as a father may have you staying where you’re at for stability and I get that, but make calculated decisions to change your scene if you hate your job.
Spend more time with your daughter?
It really does appear you’ve wasted your life. I’m 43, lived my life in Midwest. Never had TC over 170k, retiring in 3 months with $3.6m. House is a sick 4500sf historical revival. Buying a vacation home in FL on retirement. Point is, SF & Seattle were not the only answers.
That snow though...
Not nearly as bad as Northeast. But... there’s a reason I’m buying a vacation home in FL.
Better to be over the hill than buried under it
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Do you have Family
Ya, 1 young daughter + wife. Kinda only thing I feel happiness nowadays is playing with her on weekends.