PPD for new dads?
First time dad here. There is a lot of talk about post-partum depression for women. Is there something related for men. Me and my wife have had a wondeful relationship so far. During the pregnancy we really enjoyed planning for the baby and were super excited. I know that being a mom to a new born takes a lot of toll on your body and mind. But after the baby was born she seems to be not having the same kind of affection towards me. I feel like we lack the intimacy from before. She doesn’t discuss things with me about the baby’s avtivities. Any ideas or advice I give about the baby or about taking care of her body gets shot down. Of course she trusts her parents who are experienced and all in caring for babies. I mostly am responsible for taking care of groceries, cleaning up trash and other houehold chores. I think she’s just too tired for anything other than the baby. But I feel like being a third person and an outsider. I just want to know how other new dads felt and if they saw any changes in their partners after the birth of their baby
Dude you are the father. Please don't consider yourself an outsider. I'd say show your affection towards your baby. Basically her focus now the baby and should be yours too. Once you get involved her attitude may change with time.
I love my baby and want to contribute as much as I can.
Suck it up and just be the best partner you can be. Delivering a child is comparable to a surgery and if there was actual surgery then doubly so. Your wife needs a chance to recover. Right now looking after her so she can look after your baby is your job number 1. As your kid gets older they will start to interact more with you.
Not a Dad but if this helps.. I remember my Dad saying something similar when I was younger. He felt like he was pushed aside when I was born and my Mom was very controlling. (She Still kind of is imo lol... but that’s for other reasons) But after a while things went back to normal. Then when second baby came she was a lot more relaxed
I’ve been there. I wouldn’t call it post-partum, because you aren’t experiencing the hormones that she is. But, it is always a good idea to communicate and let her know how you feel. It’s never gonna go back to how it was, but it will get better. Having kids is totally worth it, but for your marriage to succeed through it, you need to communicate your needs.
Yes I have let her know my feelings. But it’s mostly the frustration and sudden lack of intimacy that’s killing me. Also the presence of in-laws doesn’t help
Sounds like you are doing the right things. Just persevere through it. It doesn’t last forever, even though it seems right now that it will. I was crazy enough to do it twice!
How old is the baby? I have a 2yo. We didn’t reach anything resembling normalcy for over 6 months. Be patient. In-laws can be overbearing, but they’re also a blessing. Stick the kid with them and take a date night. Communicate with your wife about your concerns. Good luck. Having a baby is hard.
It will get better after 6 months. It will get A LOT better after about 2 years. Parenthood is an exercise in patience and perseverance.
Wow ok. It’s at least good to know.
It gets way better when they leave for college. My father keeps saying every penny spent on sending me away to a foreign continent, was more than worth it.
I like my kids ( elementary grade). I don’t want them to leave. They play video games with me.
Definitely a thing https://www.postpartumdepression.org/postpartum-depression/men/