Parents with kids diagnosed with mild autism/learning disabilities

GE Fvbf57
Aug 11 36 Comments

Just recently my almost 5 year old was diagnosed with mild autism. i knew somting was wrong was he was 18 months old, but was in deniel and thought it was just a phase and would get better ( me being first time mum and not being around kids for a very long time, wasnt sure what was typical and atypical development). im still not sure if he really has autism, he has very been very social and has a good sense of humor. His struggles with writing ( behind in fine motor skills) and also his attention span is very low, which has impacted his academics. We enrolled him in tutoring class, but he now hates even trying or making any attempt. I’m so at loss, if he will ever grt a job or live independently in future..i know im a bit overthinking , but just dont have a first hand experience growing up or met any kids on the spectrum.

Update - wondering any teaching strategies worked for you? Did you guys hire any tutors specialized in learning disability to help kids?

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 36 Comments
  • Splunk / Other
    Goldmann

    Splunk Other

    PRE
    CrowdStrike, Splunk
    BIO
    Incident response and cyber security.
    Goldmannmore
    You're worried if your child with mild spectrum issues will ever get a job? Have you been to the bay area?
    Aug 11 2
    • Microsoft ezpzgc
      Could you please explain what you mean by this
      Aug 11
    • Splunk / Other
      HBE838DH

      Splunk Other

      PRE
      CrowdStrike, Splunk
      BIO
      Incident response and cyber security.
      HBE838DHmore
      The bay area has a reputation for being autistic, especially when it comes to single woman trying to find a man. Nerdy, awkward, too talkative or doesn't talk enough, hyper focused on work, doesnt know how to joke, socially inept.

      However, this usually turns out to be a good thing for work. Who else would be so worried about things like leet coding everyday?
      Aug 11
  • Uber / Eng sporg
    Early intervention is key. Many issues with speech & language and fine motor skills can be completely resolved if caught and treated early. Since your kid is approaching 5, get these professional services ASAP. Request an IEP with your school (if not already in progress) and demand Speech & Language and Occupational Therapy. Don’t focus so much on a diagnosis (though an Autism diagnosis really helps get you services), but focus on getting treatment/therapy for the important deficits.
    Aug 11 1
    • Microsoft 0xC0000005
      Get as much professional help as you can as soon as you can.
      Aug 11
  • Oscar 🐨koala
    Have you gotten multiple opinions yet? OP, sorry about this. Hopefully he isn’t, just being a kid. Good luck!
    Aug 11 1
    • GE Fvbf57
      OP
      I got mixed opinions , development pediatrician thinks it could be language disorder which can affect his education. Child psychologist who specializes in autism thinks he is on spectrum
      Aug 11
  • Microsoft / Eng badtofu
    First thing is to have him evaluated. Get multiple opinions if needed. Trust your instincts. Don't worry about labels - he was your child before any diagnosis. He will still be the same child. You owe it to him to give him all the support he needs.Remember, ASD is a spectrum, so there's a lot of variations in skills and challenges. Early intervention and therapy is your best bet to give him a normal life.

    Call up Autism Speaks helpline or visit Understood.org for more resources. Build a support network of your friends and family as it's a tough road ahead. Good luck.
    Aug 11 0
  • Amazon mauddib
    Don't ever let the American school system let you feel like your child is lesser than or let them bully you around if your kid doesn't fit their mold. I have a 7 year old boy who was barely not on the spectrum, and multiple schools in a "good" school district tried to force him out because he was a handful. Long story short he was bored and wouldn't put up with anything from kids or adults, and he didn't fit in. They would wind him up and then when he had meltdowns would restrain and seclude him. My wife fought hard and ended up getting an IEP, submitting a civil rights complaint (for being told kindergartners didn't qualify for section 504 protections, principal was gone the next school year), and so on. Kids will grow at their own pace, start reading books like The Explosive Child, No Drama Discipline, etc. Even if your kid doesn't have behavior issues it gives great insight into the developing human brain, and can be applied to your own person and how you interact with people at work. Let me know if you have questions, it can be a very difficult time in life...
    Aug 11 3
    • GE Fvbf57
      OP
      Yeah, that is something I see here American versus south Asian cultures . I feel the schools here are less inclusive if the child does not fit a certain mold. He is a smart happy kid, and I just don’t want him to feel that there is something wrong with him and he gives up trying . So I was not very thrilled with the labels (I know it can get us services ) . It is just about how he will be treated by his peers or others when he has a label.
      Aug 11
    • Google wkkjy
      Did you put your child in daycares and preschools early on? Doing so makes them socialize more and they realize that they are not the center of the universe. Puttting them in school directly at 4 or 5 is going to be problematic.
      Aug 11
    • Amazon mauddib
      My boys issues started at 2 when he stopped napping at daycare. This continued because our school system in Michigan expects kids to have 45 minutes of rest time. For the kids who don't nap, they expect them to sit on a cot in the dark so the rest of the kids can have their mandatory nap time. Ridiculous.
      Aug 11
  • Microsoft
    Scion

    Microsoft

    PRE
    Taco Bell, Campbell Soup, Jack in the Box
    Scion more
    Did you give him vaccines when he was younger? They are known to cause these types of issues. So sad.
    Aug 11 8
    • Microsoft
      Scion

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Taco Bell, Campbell Soup, Jack in the Box
      Scion more
      Im gonna interview at oath just to give you the cooties.
      Aug 11
    • GE Fvbf57
      OP
      Most of the parents started seeing symptoms few days after their child got vaccinated and think vaccines triggered these symptoms . Still there is no real proof either way. But there is something we are doing wrong (if we rule out genetic) lately that the more children are being diagnosed as being on the spectrum
      Aug 11
    • Oath Atinlay2
      Or just too much screen time
      Aug 11
    • Uber / Eng sporg
      Better and more widespread diagnostics are playing a big part in the increase. Age of the father and genetics are also likely factors. Vaccines do not cause autism.
      Aug 11
    • Microsoft
      Scion

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Taco Bell, Campbell Soup, Jack in the Box
      Scion more
      Sounds like something vaxxers would say
      Aug 11
  • GE Fvbf57
    OP
    With both us working full time, it has been really hard to accommodate therapies in our schedule. More over they have a huge wait list for all these services. He has caught up in speech an language but still behind his peers. but now I notice that he does not feel confident and tends to be quite in school.
    Aug 11 6
    • Microsoft / Eng badtofu
      Yeah, at 5 you should be able to get an IEP from school district and that includes in school support AFAIK
      Aug 11
    • GE Fvbf57
      OP
      We recently moved to Bay Area from Seattle , I tried few therapy centers but was unsuccessful . I was thinking of holding him back a year, but looks like that is not an option here. I need to check if public schools if they evaluate and give OT and speech for kids who are behind
      Aug 11
    • Uber / Eng sporg
      Do you have an IEP from your time in Seattle? If not, schedule a meeting with your school and request an assessment (district will provide the assessment). Autism is a qualifying disability. An assessment will determine if and what type of accommodations/services/therapy they need. Google “IEP” or “Individualized Education Plan” for basic info.
      Aug 11
    • Microsoft fatty🎃
      You are going to let your work schedules prevent you from getting your child help?!
      Maybe he's behind because he's abandoned all day long with caregivers who don't love him as their child...
      Aug 11
    • Uber / Eng sporg
      @fatty That might be a little harsh. OP might simple be unaware of the services available to his family.
      Aug 11
  • New / Eng calgaryboy
    Holy shit he's 5 years old and you're worried about his academics? A private tutor? LOL. And yes I'd say your overthinking. He's 5, let him play Lego.

    ps. I was diagnosed with almost that exact same thing when I was 12, and am one of the very few from highschool to become a "computer genius" . It's a huge asset for focusing on sitting onfront of a computer alone all day shitting out hashmaps and iterators and test harnesses and trying to keep up with the latest React state management system.
    Aug 22 1
    • GE gydP56
      @calgaryboy - Thank you! I needed to hear a positive story. If it’s ok to ask what were your struggles? Wondering if it will get better with age? I know it’s a life long ( which the docs and therapist tried hard to convince me, as I was hopeful he’ll get better with age )
      Sep 11
  • Netflix GvYi87
    OP - good news is that you are Not in denial anymore . He is only 5 and you know there is *something* off / special . Diagnosis is the key . Continue doing . Also don’t even think of job as is is so young . He might be good at something else which you don’t know .
    Aug 11 0
  • Splunk / Other
    HBE838DH

    Splunk Other

    PRE
    CrowdStrike, Splunk
    BIO
    Incident response and cyber security.
    HBE838DHmore
    Get your child into things that will challenge him. Stop trying to fix what he's not good at all of the time and lift him where he excels. Figure out what he likes and let him go to town or get a personal instructor for it. I'm talking about things that people may only start learning later in life, like programming, an instrument or anything else that could turn into something professional if you started doing it when you were young.

    Leverage the gift instead of molding him down into a half-normal person.

    Also, kids don't realize how quickly they can get good at something. They could be experts in something without even realizing it because they have no expectations vs what other adults could or should be doing.
    Aug 11 0
  • Facebook Decoupled
    I feel for you OP. I hope you find the right answers.

    Were you putting a 4 year old in tutoring classes? Like Kumon? Early focus on academic achievement is detrimental to long-term outcomes: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201505/early-academic-training-produces-long-term-harm%3famp
    Aug 11 1
    • GE gydP56
      Just confused and lost , trying to help and do the best I can. It’s really hard to understand what his struggles are. I tried reading and educating myself , still it didn’t really make any sense to me.
      Sep 11
  • GE Fvbf57
    OP
    Wondering how did you all cope with the diagnosis ? It has not been easy for me.
    Aug 12 0
  • Splunk / Other
    HBE838DH

    Splunk Other

    PRE
    CrowdStrike, Splunk
    BIO
    Incident response and cyber security.
    HBE838DHmore
    I don't know why people think ot6s vaccines. It could be a myriad of other things. Shit they put on crops, diesel fumes, lead paint, you name it.
    Aug 11 0