She checks from time to time with all the messages and asking questions about people and interactions. Very unpleasant conversation when you feel controlled and then any time you chat with someone you already know that the message will be checked. I’m happy for you guys, who don’t have this problem. I don’t know how to fix this..
Does she know your password or does she grab the phone while you are using it? Why would it be ok to feel controlled? If you are ok with this, then it may not be limited to the phobe and she would also be controlling in other areas of the relationship.
It’s a bad start and will only get worse. Time to move on to someone else who trusts you. The fact that she thinks it’s OK to do, is worse, than if she did it behind your back. (I almost feel it’s better if she hides it, because at least she knows that it’s wrong.)
I've only heard of couples checking messages after one of them cheats or are suspected of cheating. Could be that it has nothing to do with you and that she has dealt with cheating before and now she sees it everywhere. It's very toxic. If you can't trust your partner you shouldn't be together. Has she told you why she wants to do this?
Too many times. It boils down to her speech like “I’m a jealous person and you should accept that”. Funny thing that she is Brazilian and my friend has the same issue with his Brazilian gf...maybe it’s a cultural thing🤔
Me and my wife don't have that much of a private life to worry about the other reading any specific message. We look at each other's phones almost every day to gossip on different things that happened over the day..