Hey everyone, I work very closely with a British software engineer at work and there have been many instances where I felt he is not friendly or kind enough with me. I will admit he has never said or done anything that's outright racist. I am an Indian and I am pretty much experienced, though not as much as he is (10+ years). I've noticed many times that he doesn't properly respond to my messages or emails, and if he does, the tone of his replies comes off as rude. He wouldn't really talk much, and he seems to be "serious" all the time with me. I saw him behave the same way with other Indian colleagues as well, but it doesn't matter as no one deals with him as much as I do. On the other hand, he seems to be pretty friendly with my other American colleagues. I don't ever remember messing with him or not having been polite with him. I keep things to myself and I highly doubt if I ever bothered him for things other than work. I feel low and disturbed every time he does these things. Sometimes I just feel like he is still lagging behind in the days when Britain used to rule our country but we're way past all that. It just feels stupid. How do I approach this situation? Leave the company?
First of all, I’m so sorry that you have to be going through this! That sounds frustrating and infuriating. I find that oftentimes just repeating (in a polite but incredulous tone) whatever offensive thing was said to me by someone out of bounds and asking “did you hear yourself?” seems to do the job, but since this class-A douchebag already doesn’t seem to be an ace at seeing others as equals, I wouldn’t approach him directly on the matter. I would document these behaviors so you have some examples, and take it up with your supervisor, and depending on the sort of company and org you are in, potentially consult HR or a diversity resource. Good luck!
Stop being so sensitive
I'm not, it just is disturbing
Why do you beleive he or she is sensitive?
Maybe he is just introvert and/or doesn't share your interests/passions etc. chill!
Fuck him. Who cares? Reply to him in the same tone as he does. You need to learn to give it back.
Maybe he was raped by some Indian dude. Who knows.
This actually is true at my company too. The one British dude is a butt and thinks he's the shit. I just try to avoid interacting with him and when I do, send as few messages as possible by compiling everything into one message
Fuck the brits
Europeans are racist as fuck
Yeah, right. You definitely sound pretty kind and free of any prejudice 😂
Yeah, because Indians aren’t racist at all... 😂😂😂
Which company ?
Be professional at all times. Make your point politely but firmly (that's a soft skill by the way). Same with verbal interactions- watch Americans when they argue professionally, politely but firmly if your data/arguments are on your side.
That's what i already do
In that case, all is well - just don't let that get to you. You don't have to like everyone at work you know 😀