Rant : Broken up due to religion

Google aVxe30
Nov 21, 2017 130 Comments

My gf broke up with me because we aren't from the same religion (me Hindu, her Christian), and view God and nature of the world differently. She says it's important to share similar beliefs as it helps the couple target similar goals. My feeling was that even the future goals for us were somewhat similar, and while some methods to were different, because we grew up differently, they aren't significant enough to breakup.

Is having a similar belief system very important ? Won't a little bit of pragmatism help here?

It hurts because she was the most amazing person me, or anyone could ever meet. Polite, intelligent, educated. The whole episode makes me think it's not worth dating outside religion/culture.

My rant ends here. I needed to get it out of my system since I have very few real friends outside to talk to.

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TOP 130 Comments
  • Nextdoor leetgod
    Now you see why religion is toxic. It corrupts people and divides them.

    You got the wrong takeaway from this experience.
    Nov 21, 2017 1
    • New derb
      Amen 🙏
      Nov 21, 2017
  • Microsoft joanna
    I've found that cross religion dating tends to work well if neither party - or at least one party - doesn't care about religion.

    If one party is devout and the other is neutral, you can survive. If both parties are neutral you can thrive. But if both parties are devout, then you're out.

    Note that people do convert or figure out how to live with each other when their emotional bond is strong enough. So this is also an indicator that the strength of the relationship wasn't there. Because otherwise love conquers all.
    Nov 21, 2017 0
  • Juniper / Ops shitposter
    if she was the most amazing person one could've ever met, why didn't you convert to Christianity? is religion that important to you? what has religion ever done to you? other than help break up with your amazing GF..
    Nov 21, 2017 5
    • Snapchat / Eng Snapdog
      Wtf. Converting to Christianity means believing in Christ, resurrection etc etc. how can you force yourself to do that 😂
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Juniper / Ops shitposter
      Hey didn't you hear OP? she's the most amazing person one could ever meet.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      If I could believe in Christianity enough, I probably would. But faking and lying is something I refuse to do.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Microsoft joanna
      Normally, this is a problem associated with parents. Parents are worried about the loss of social capital when their son or daughter marries outside of the faith. If the actual parties to the marriage don't give a shit about religion then the problem is easily solved - you just convert to appease the family so they can tell their neighbors and move on with life. I've seen that happen and work many times in my life with various friends.

      In this case, however it seems that both sides are at least somewhat religious. The girl seems super religious, and even Op seems to be somewhat religious about his own system. This is not a sustainable situation.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • T-Mobile / Eng 64Ytse5
      When Jesus/The Holy Trinity is everything to a person, then most of their life purpose will be tied to the mission laid out in Sacred Scripture. This goes beyond cultural attachment but is the person's reason for living.
      Nov 25, 2017
  • Twitch SoftPillow
    I feel sorry that imaginary friends have broken you apart.
    Nov 21, 2017 0
  • Dodged a bullet. Fanaticism only cause problems regardless of belief
    Nov 21, 2017 0
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Facebook Malzahar
      I’m not out here to defend Muslims, but literally bvnq30 is reading the wrong news. I was speaking of a different incident.
      Nov 22, 2017
    • Facebook Malzahar
      Also people all over the world get into trouble regardless of religion
      Nov 22, 2017
    • Microsoft talespin
      Well afaik i never know of christians causing trouble in any country
      Nov 22, 2017
    • New / Eng Lol 😂
      What about Christian priests approving violence and supporting authoritarian and oppressive regimes?
      Nov 23, 2017
    • BMO Bvnq30
      Afaik no scientologists have blown themselves up in the name of Ron Hubbard
      Nov 23, 2017
  • Snapchat / Eng Snapdog
    Wow. Exactly the same thing happened to me years ago. It was actually good we broke up though. Her family was super religious and me accepting Christ was a precondition to getting married. Cuz otherwise I won’t have eternal life In Heaven apparently. What the actual fuck. Many Indian Christian families are super conservative. Fuck religion.
    Nov 21, 2017 4
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      Yes, lots of similar arguments regarding belief and pretty similar situation. Conversion in my case wasn't asked though.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Snapchat / Eng Snapdog
      Are you religious? Otherwise why would you give a fuck if you aren’t compelled to believe in Christ.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      I am sorta religious. Don't accept all the elements, but think there are good things in them.

      Conversion explicitly wasn't asked, but not believing in system of eternal life and redemption were the reasons given for breakup.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Snapchat / Eng Snapdog
      Just move on OP.
      Nov 21, 2017
  • F5 Networks / Sales
    ElMariachi

    F5 Networks Sales

    PRE
    Oracle
    BIO
    Just seeking what other folks in the industry are saying.
    ElMariachimore
    So, were you guys intimate? If so, she’s breaking the rules of the Undead Jewish Carpenter she follows. Seems pretty hypocritical too.

    Confession- I grew up in the South, so I love Jesus and his homeboys, but I can’t stand his fan club. Mainly because of stuff like this. They all get together on Sunday mornings, and pretend to be all holy, then go get baked and do stupid shit like a normal person. But, they get a pass because they walked down an aisle, shook a preacher’s hand and got dunked in the Church hot tub.
    Nov 22, 2017 5
    • Snapchat / Eng Snapdog
      ☝️this guy fucks
      Nov 22, 2017
    • F5 Networks / Sales
      ElMariachi

      F5 Networks Sales

      PRE
      Oracle
      BIO
      Just seeking what other folks in the industry are saying.
      ElMariachimore
      Damn skippy I do. If I’m going to hell, I’m gonna do it right!
      Nov 22, 2017
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      Actually, no. I won't give out any more details and feed the creeps of Blind.
      Nov 22, 2017
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      I liked your "like a normal person".
      Nov 22, 2017
    • F5 Networks / Sales
      ElMariachi

      F5 Networks Sales

      PRE
      Oracle
      BIO
      Just seeking what other folks in the industry are saying.
      ElMariachimore
      So, six months dating, and no sexy time. I don’t see what the problem here is. She obviously wasn’t that into you, if she didn’t give it up in six months. When I was single, if I wasn’t getting anywhere in a couple of weeks, I got the heck outta there because she was either way messed up or way too religious for my liking.

      Just be glad she didn’t pick you and try to turn you into a “church guy” later.
      Nov 22, 2017
  • Amazon lkj23zx
    If it's no big deal why didn't you convert?

    My dad's had three different religions in his life: the one he was born with, my mom's religion, and after my mom died and he remarried he picked up his new wife's religion.

    It makes for a pretty harmonious home.
    Nov 21, 2017 2
    • Microsoft biddut
      I think he could have just told her that he believes in Almighty Dollar, and prays towards Wall Street.

      To maintain spirituality he performs pilgrimage to Wall Street (Yatra)
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Microsoft clara
      It means that he was a wise and pragmatic man.
      Nov 21, 2017
  • Union Bank / Eng Tecchan
    This is analogous to breaking up with your girlfriend because she believes in Spiderman, while you think Superman is the true superhero. Both are fictional characters!
    Nov 24, 2017 2
    • Blippar anonymous+
      Blasphemy! Batman!
      Nov 24, 2017
    • Target BalRog
      Foul infidels! Odin will find you and Thor will smite you!
      Nov 2, 2018
  • Amazon BeffJesoz
    Why don't you change your religion, if you really like her and know you'll marry her? If you too are too attached to your religion to not change it for the woman you love, you can hardly blame her views.
    Nov 21, 2017 4
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      Answered above. Faking and lying about believing in something, I refuse to do.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Amazon lkj23zx
      It seems then that YOU are the one being inflexible, or at least just as inflexible. You didn't respect her beliefs and probably gave her grief about it.

      You capital B Believe and thought your imaginary friends are better than her imaginary friend.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      This is an interesting perspective.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • Target BalRog
      Wow. Project much, @ljk23zx ?
      Nov 2, 2018
  • Cisco / Eng _silent
    Religion isn't real. Just stories told by primitive people to explain the world around them.
    Nov 21, 2017 0
  • You are better off with out her. If she really loves you and wants to be with you, she will have her own belief system, let you have your own and don't even bring it between. Who knows, she might find some other reason for breaking up later, if you do something to be with her now...love should override everything in between
    Nov 21, 2017 0
  • Visa / Eng
    pingmelol

    Visa Eng

    PRE
    Kforce Inc
    BIO
    Life is as beautiful as you just think it is. Take it easy.
    pingmelolmore
    Lol why would she date you at first place if religion was a deal breaker. This is even important as you are saying she had an angel heart. To me it looks you might have been falling in so called love for her and she needed a reason to get out. Don't get me wrong, change is always good. Vent here and move on mi amigo
    Nov 21, 2017 10
    • BMO Bvnq30
      When American life was built upon the bedrock of a nuclear family & the spiritual community
      Nov 22, 2017
    • Salesforce SYQT75
      Man, those are some very profound words. The thing is that they literally mean nothing in the context of the questions that were asked. He asked where as in location rather then when religion became this balancing power without which nobody would know what is the right thing to do and murder, rape and evil would spread like wildfire. Thank God for the 10 commandments, obviously, without it, you wouldn’t know that it’s wrong to kill your brother.
      Nov 22, 2017
    • Expedia NaaN
      BMO, America was built upon the premise of freedom. Freedom of speech, freedom to practice or NOT to practice any religion, which, unlike the rest of Europe at the time, was a sensationally new idea.
      Nov 22, 2017
    • BMO Bvnq30
      Freedom which has led to the degradation of our morals and will usher in a new age of unprecedented hedonism, self absorbable and selfishness.
      Nov 23, 2017
    • Expedia NaaN
      Again, as compared to whom exactly? Also, you could always move. Places like Saudi Arabia believe in the exact same thing as you. On that note, it should have been the land of all saints by now based on your theory.
      Nov 23, 2017
  • New UTzr53
    Depending on how seriously she takes her Christian beliefs it’s important for her that you are also Christian. Maybe it wasn’t important when you started dating but over time her faith developed and she grew closer to Jesus and wanting to be spiritually closer to Jesus meant dumping the heathen boyfriend. Christianity and all the one abrahamic religions do not view other religions as equal.
    Nov 21, 2017 3
    • Apple Nombom
      I dont think it is about equality. Its more about not being philosophically on the same page.
      Nov 21, 2017
    • T-Mobile / Eng 64Ytse5
      Definitely not about equality, Christian beliefs on paper are that there are no other religions and no other truths. One God, Holy Trinity, no other gods, no other spiritual truths.
      Nov 26, 2017
    • Apple Iamwhoiam
      Yea because truth cannot have different versions.
      Nov 26, 2017
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Facebook sum41pwd
      I’ve used that excuse before, but only in the one case when I wasn’t that into the girl. Didn’t matter in other 2 instances, sooo..
      Nov 21, 2017
  • Blippar anonymous+
    How can she be intelligent and religious at the same time?
    Nov 23, 2017 1
    • Airbnb ati415
      It’s impossible, obviously.
      Nov 23, 2017
  • F5 Networks / Sales
    RedSpectre

    F5 Networks Sales

    PRE
    Microsoft
    BIO
    A spectre is haunting Blind (U+262D)
    RedSpectremore
    Don’t let imaginary friend(s) get in the way of your relationships, and don’t date anyone who’s imaginary friend(s) are more important to them than their relationships.
    Nov 21, 2017 1
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      This is interesting, and probably puts my feelings in words. People are important, and religion should help build relationships.
      Nov 21, 2017
  • Google jghyrh
    How long were you together? It sounds like it was well in its way (more than half a year?) How come this deal-killer only came up now?

    I don't think you should discount dating outside your specific religion, but you gotta make sure these kinds of belief deal-breakers are handled upfront.

    Or, in engineer speak, it's better to fail fast than to hurdle down a bad code path, consuming and exhausting resources needlessly. :)

    Hope you feel better soon!
    Nov 21, 2017 1
    • ServiceNow / Eng ༼ つ ◕_◕༽つ
      I’d guess if it came up later, she may have had some reservations about their differences in beliefs once things like marriage and children felt more likely to be the next steps
      Nov 21, 2017
  • Salesforce FunkForce
    Long story short. I disowned my own mother because she refused give up religion.
    Nov 23, 2017 3
    • Visa woqO06
      Damn, living without mother love must be hard!
      Nov 23, 2017
    • Google aVxe30
      OP
      That's some decision. I would feel a big void.
      Nov 24, 2017
    • Target BalRog
      I feel for you. My parents are hyper-religious, and I became an atheist sometime during college. We managed to remain connected for about three decades after that. It helped that we didn't actually see each other that often. But after my father loudly declared that he did not and could not love my adult transgender child, I'd had enough. I told my mother I loved her and I'd miss her, then I turned to my father and told him to fuck off, then I walked out. That is the last I ever expect to see of either of them.
      Nov 9, 2018

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