Met a girl through friends about a month ago, we went on dates multiple times. I really liked her and she was extremely into me. After a few dates, she asked me to become exclusive. From the first day we shared with each other that we both are looking for marriage. After about 10 dates, I asked her if she would be interested to get to know each other's parents as well. She immediately told me that it's too soon and that we don't know each other that well yet. She mentioned she has never introduced anyone to her parents; parents involvement would be the last step for her. I explained to her that it's totally fine with me and we will take things slow. From that moment on which was about a week ago, she has been extremely cold with me and doesn't initiate conversation really and the conversations that we have are very cliche and generally small talks. I feel really helpless. Considering that I already explained to her that I will be fine with not meeting the parents anytime soon. How can I fix this relationship and bring things back to how they were? Please and thank you. We are both professionals with TCs in 250k range. She's is 32 and I'm 37.
You sound like a 22 year old. How are you so clueless at 37?
Read Corey Wayne’s work. You’re messing up somewhere
I an pretty sure OP isn't asking for an advice here just to get a pointer to a book. Poor guy is looking for some quick advise. Have you read the book to summarize it for him? :)
I’ve read it three times. Not enough info in his post to diagnose. I’d rather teach OP to fish
Cut the loss and go for arranged marriage. Your parents would have already met your partners parents. Win win all-round
You lost this one.
I would categorize the act from her as cold feet. Maybe you're showing your interest too much and she is scared to commit when she is not fully there yet.. or she is just not interested in the marriage in which case she will let go sooner or later anyways. So I guess, you could try to restrain yourself a bit or give it a break for a few days to truly understand where you guys are. A break definitely helps to understand whether you're really into each other.
Almost pushing 40 now huh?
What a vacuous observation. Don't you have a Google interview to prep for (and fail based on your post history?)
Haha absolute savagery lol
Just talk it out. I think she got cold feet. It's also not uncommon to avoid someone for a few days to understand if you really like someone or are just comfortable with him around. In either case, talk to her.
> I feel really helpless. You feel helpless, but more like powerless. She has power over you right now. Her actions and behavior practically dictate your mood. You want this to work, so bad. You want this thing to undo just a step back. That isn't gonna happen. You need to one up her, call her out on randomly going cold. If she's going to randomly do this to you NOW, god knows what sort of communication issues you guys are gonna have further down the road? Chances are she's lost interest or met someone else. There's also a chance you've triggered some major insecurity in her. But all of this is no longer under your control. The only control you have is to confront her. If she isn't onboard, walk away. It's that simple, yet so hard to emotionally go all-in. Good luck OP.
@OP - This is the perfect answer.. @mango gets it... Exact same thing happened to me before
this is indeed solid
There's also a chance you've triggered some major insecurity in her. But all of this is no longer under your control.
Preach.
😊