Second kid + Job search + no nearby fam...how to cope?
I just gave birth to my 2nd (VBAC with 2nd degree tears). Unfortunately my LO is suffering from severe jaundice and had to be emergency hospitalized this weekend. We are free now - not in danger, but not cured yet - but my dr visits are now doubled and my sleep is nil (LO needs a lot more breast feeding to wash this crud out of her system). On top of this all I need to keep applying for jobs. Despite landing a few interviews before delivery- I haven’t landed anything offer wise. Going back to my current role is not optional (long story - don’t ask). I need a new gig before my leave ends (3 mos paid) due to childcare costs (...given the demand in Seattle, if I don’t keep both kids enrolled ...I’ll lose my childcare coverage for at least a year). Today I did a 3 hour application with a yellow babe attached to my boob, bleeding out large clots (tear is very sore and I keep forgetting my meds), and fielding 6 Dr calls ( PPD survey requests, scheduling for more appts...etc etc) and 1 follow up visit for the LO. Also did some laundry, house cleaning, and daycare dropoff for kid #1. I feel loopy and exhausted. If I even had an interview this week I doubt I could stay standing at the white board. How do I survive this- and get back to fighting form without compromising my family (both in health and finances?). 🙁
Are you a single mom ? Wheres the other parent ??
Not to be an asshole, but moms tend to do the vast majority of childcare and household work, even when both parents work full time. There have been numerous studies. Also, daddy doesn’t make milk, so...
Don't get me wrong but where is the father of your kids while all this happening?
Father is involved as he can be - he just doesn’t have boobs or much paternity leave.
If father is involved, why not go on his HC? Having a child is a valid trigger for reenrollment if you choose; can relieve your ticking time bomb
Congrats on your LO and so sorry it is so rough! What kind of role are you seeking?
I’m a senior dev - 10 YOE - hoping to go into data science or management at this point.
one thing at a time. You need to prioritize. It looks like like you are dealing with many things. Make sure your health is intact, this is the time you need to take care of you also. Don’t worry about job, it looks like you need it but health is more imp. It is adding an another layer of stress for you. Just think you are laying low. Sometimes tiger takes few steps back just to make a powerful jump. Think you are laying low.
Good luck for the recovery ❤
Where’s your man? Is he dead? Why can’t he take some time off and take care of the elder kid? Seems super irresponsible to me.
Sorry for your hardship. Things that might help: seeking supportive care (even if you need to pay for it. Some health insurance will partially or fully cover it). Goes without saying but I am sure you have considered using formula to supplement, this is particularly helpful with fathers and will let you get some sleep.
My heart goes out to you. Take care and feel better. Focus on you and your baby first...I know it's easier said then done but really, take a week or two for yourself
WTF is your husband doing. I’m assuming you have a SO
You do this by stop trying to do everything at once. I know it sounds counter intuitive but it sounds as if you are in no state to present your best self in interviews so your best bet is to slow down for a week and get better and then kicking off the search again.