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Single engineer (Female) AMA!
Married 9 years and father of 2 and sex starved. Wife is always busy with kids and work (household and job). Kids want to spend time with her on weekend nights listening to stories, etc since they sleep early on weekdays due to school. Looks like there is no slot for me all week. I’ve been at Microsoft for several years, so I definitely have time for her due to the excellent WLB. Spoke to her once and then one Saturday we did it after 3 years. It’s been a several months since then. I see no initiation from her. May be she is just not interested in doing it anymore. She says she is too scared to have another kid but at the same time doesn’t want to take pills thinking it might affect her body. She doesn’t trust condoms. I understand she is tired and kids need time too. But what should I do in this situation? No, porn and masturbation are not sustainable for too long. This is driving me nuts. We love each other a lot. How did I land up in this situation!!! Please no trolls. Update: on my part I’ve started helping her out with household chores. Got a beautiful gift for her on Valentine’s Day and kiss her every now and then when I get a chance. No, both of us are not ugly and fat. I wish there was some effort from her side too. That’s what makes me sad. Update 2: I do feel sad talking to my wife again about this. I mean aren’t the kids needy enough that she has to deal with one more needy guy! But then I thought sex is about both of us, not just me. Don’t know man, I’m probably getting crazy due to all this. Update 3: we sleep in different bedrooms. She sleeps with the kids because the God damn kids (toddlers) won’t sleep in their own rooms. The younger one doesn’t even sleep through the night. Freakin so frustrating. Update 4: Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful responses. I’ll help out more with household work and explore various contraception options that makes her comfortable. Let’s see how it goes. I shall pray. I’m committed to this marriage no matter what.
Check if she is going through Menopause. Lack of interest in sex is common symptoms of that and it will go away eventually.
Nah. She has periods regularly.
TMI
So you have to deal with wife and kids and you don't get the single benefit. Loser
Dude, this happens to a lot of people. This is going to take a bit of effort on your part but it will be worth it. Turn up the charm. Go on dates, find a babysitter (ideally outside you home, do you have family that is local?) and go out somewhere. Make sure the kids have time with mom but understand dad and mom need their own time. It’ll be tough the first few times but should get easy pretty quick. This may look like an easy plan but it can be difficult to get it started. The main challenge is keeping this going for a few months so it becomes regular again. Good luck
Dude, sorry that’s too long and really bad situation. If pregnancy is the concern, you can take care of it on your side assuming you don’t want anymore kids ever. Then sit down and talk. Tell how it’s important to you. Get where she stands. Start date nights with arrangements for kids, but don’t make it a sex night! Just get more 1:1 time to start with. She also needs to realize the importance of intimacy. Otherwise, something else is going on. If she wanted it, she would find a way!
Do you ever get a baby sitter? Go on vacation? You need time for the two of you.
Is it possible you got fat and ugly?
You know she might be getting it from somewhere else.... I'd start checking up on her to see if she is having an affair. Getting a full panel STD exam wouldn't be the worst idea either. Also get the gardisal 9.vaccine in case she is cheating... Or you decide to cheat.
Looks like you need to contribute from your amazing wlb so she isn't busy all the time with work, house, and kids.
Things have gone stale. You need to spice things up! When was the last time you got her flowers? Don’t just expect shit to happen on its own
Go leetcode!
After solve 3 hard you have 30 min to watch pornhub then go back to leetcode