I’m a quite short (5’1”) woman who looks about 15 years younger than my true age. I’ve continuously run into problems in my career with condescension, and a general sense of not being taken seriously. I know my worth, my intelligence, and I have a strong work ethic, but I feel that this unconscious bias has led to being lowballed, passed up for promotions, and has generally affected how others talk to me (think mansplaining x10.) Unfortunately it seems being confident and assertive only backfires, leads to tension, and arrogant inexperienced men still get favored. Aside from the already obnoxious gender bias, the height and age appearance adds that special layer of glass to the ceiling that I don’t have the patience for. Had anyone had any experience with this or any success overcoming it?
Try working on your voice and confidence in communicating.. People might be biased before talking to you but should know you once you talk to them.. unless you are into sales height and age should not matter a lot
Get shit in writing. There’s a lot people will say in person that they won’t say on an email chain with their manager, or some kind of forum public within the company.
I dont think it's your height. I think you come across as too uptight and that causes all sorts of problems. I've seen and met several "short" women in engineering roles. Once you have 5-7 yrs industry experience your soft skills are almost as important as your hard skills. I don't understand why women try to act and behave like men and undervalue their own innate feminine skills ? I'd rather have talented (with their feminity intact) females on my team than macho males.
Lol
Wtf
Experience this on a daily basis. My advice: bide your time. Gain the trust of your manager/peers. Nothing people can say against solidly good work.
Just good work is not enough. We don't work with machines. We work with people, so you need to have soft skills.
That’s a given. Op is asking what she should do when her physical appearance is what holds her back from being perceived as competent. Regardless of her soft skills she’s starting off at a lower perceived value than her peers. That’s not something you can talk others out of, it’s right off the bat.
We can meet for a cup of coffee may be and talk about this. I'd like to help.
U sure that’s the issue given that u work at CAA?
It’s happened my entire life although I will agree that it’s been worse in certain environments (like CAA). Shame that the companies who can most elevate a career can nearly destroy you even wanting it anymore.
Have you tried talking to your HRBP?
Perhaps my favorite manager was a female, 5’3” tall. She was well respected, ran a 60+ person organization very successfully, and routinely did business deals with male dominated technology concerns in Asia. She did this without ever acting like a man. Just plain old rational discourse and good business relationship skills. I’d call her one of my greatest mentors even though I approach management differently than she in every way. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but your height and age aren’t what’s holding you back.
I’m glad to hear she was successful, as well as one of your favorite managers. However, I never mentioned acting like a man. Confidence is not a trait reserved for men, although the idea that being confident is acting masculine is perhaps the very thing perpetuating it. And I would respectfully disagree that height has nothing to do with it. And I’m not sure how much of my post you read but I am not young, only appear to be. Gender, age, height, and appearance ALL factor into a person’s perception of you whether you’d like to believe it or not. One story of a successful manager does not negate a pattern of disrespect experienced by countless women over many years.
Sorry - wasn’t suggesting YOU were going to adopt manly behaviors. That was in response to at least one other comment in the thread. I’d frankly suggest against it, because, well, the world is mostly full of sexist jerks who will immediately write you off if you act like a guy. Yes, I read your post - the age comment was aimed at “perceived” age, since you mentioned you look much younger than you are. Height definitely hurts. I’m not 6’ tall, which sucks when you are in a leadership position. You will definitely have to work harder because of your height. But it’s not a show stopper either. Apologies if I came off as harsh. I certainly didn’t post that to negate your experience. Your experience is 100% believable. But I am also 100% certain you can negotiate yourself to a more successful outcome.
I appreciate the clarification. Unfortunately people’s personal experiences of discrimination and bias are just that, and nearly impossible to prove, especially given that so many people in this thread alone are quick to deny it exists. And zero managers in the history of ever will put into writing that their bias factored into any decisions. It’s typically stated as “they negotiated better” or some other impossible to prove scenario. Salary, promotions, job offers, and workplace relationships are not a formula. They are decisions made by humans who are prone to bias, plain and simple. And I definitely agree that it’s not impossible to overcome, it is difficult and adds an extra hurdle. And unfortunately I’ve run into instances where no matter my performance, I know that certain people’s perceptions of me are shaped by my appearance alone and I accept that. And until I can grow a foot taller, a penis, and a beard, it’s something I and many other women will continue to battle.
I may be in a similar place although I don't really push back so haven't experienced a lot of what you have. Change companies my current company isn't like that but previous ones were.
You (and others who have stated the same) might unfortunately be right. As much as we’d like to think it’s fixable and to fight through it, it might just not be worth it.