Should I give up on my American Dream ?

New lUqA41
Jun 8 52 Comments

American Dream for me is:
1. Want to live in west part of US (Seattle, California, etc)
2. Want to get decent pay with out having to count every dollar I spend.
3. Want to have a family with 0 or 1 kid.
4. want to own a big 5/6 bedroom house with a back yard (very important)
5. Want to own one premium luxury car, one crappy car to play with and one motor bike for fun.
6. Want to be able to take at least 2 big vacations per year
7. Want to go out every weekend (bars, dinners, movies, road trips, etc)
8. Want to retire between 50 to 60 with enough funds saved for a quality retirement life.

I'm an Indian currently on H1B visa. I know Green card is just a dream that'll never come true for me. I'm almost 29 with TC $150k in Seattle.

Given my age, visa restrictions and TC (assuming it'll progress over time), is that even possible ? Am I being realistic ? or Should I just give up and go back to India ?

Any suggestions/ strategies on how to make my dream a reality ? Pls don't troll. I'm looking for some good advices here...

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TOP 52 Comments
  • Facebook aNsB85
    Why do you need a 5 bedroom house for a family with 0 kids?
    Jun 8 8
    • Microsoft / R&D AFuX02
      Think whether you truly need it (instead of accessing a Gym outside). Lot of our desires are manufactured (seeing friends, highlighted as "successful" in movies, advertising, etc). If you can restrict your desires, you might get closer to something better than the so called American dream. If you want a better passport, just move to Canada, it truly gives you a lot of advantage. But chasing a 5 bedroom house is just a futile endeavor. You'll be surprised to know you'll be miserable after that too, if you've not learnt how to take control of your happiness, instead of just chasing things.

      America brought about this idea of chasing. Spending and overspending and trying to one up one another. Do you think it has done wonders? Don't get brainwashed and take control of your mind.

      My $0.02.
      Jun 8
    • New lUqA41
      OP
      thank u. but, happiness is chasing for what we love in life. isn't it ? May be what I love might change as I grow ?
      Jun 8
    • Microsoft / R&D AFuX02
      Happiness should be enjoying the ride that is life. You'll have sad parts when things don't go according to plan (losing people, health, breakups, etc) but other than that, happiness is just celebrating life.
      That doesn't mean you cannot be AMBITIOUS. You can certainly desire those vacations and cars, but not at the cost of happiness. I know it's easier said than done but if you don't do it, the cycle of wants will never stop. Instead of a 5 bedroom house, probably try for a 3 bedroom but better relationship with family? Or think about why you need what you need.
      If you need the security of being abroad, you need a citizenship. But if you just want to have a gym in your house today, tomorrow you'd wish for a private boat too. If that was the case, everyone who's rich would be "living the dream" and be happy.

      Also, it's important to have perspective and be thankful. Do you sit and wonder about the geographical lottery you won (to be able to come to America, or have parents who could educate you). Imagine if you were born somewhere that reaching here was impossible (a reality for billions). So in a sense, you are living the dream of probably 80 or 90% of the world.
      Jun 8
    • New lUqA41
      OP
      I do appreciate what I have. I have no complaints (especially when I think about where I started). But at the same time, I dont want to be content. I want to aim for more and see how far i can get. I see your point though that there's no end for the materialistic desires.
      Jun 8
    • Snapchat
      rThn06

      Snapchat

      PRE
      Facebook
      rThn06more
      Imagine what were ur dreams when u were in college? Decent income? Great family? Cool lifestyle? U got all than and more, but now ur dreams changed. There is no end to this.
      Jun 11
  • Microsoft UMbR31
    There is no concept of an American dream today, even for American citizens. If you don't get a green card, this is just too flaky and could be grabbed from you at any point. US does not want business owning/leading wealthy permanent immigrants from India, and that is the plain truth. They made that mistake for two generations leading to Vinod Khosla, Satya Nadella, Sundar and others. They will not make that mistake again.

    Luckily for you, India and China are also where the next 40 years of wealth creation will happen. You could be a rando in Canada, US Mid-West, wherever, or you could be a somebody in India.
    Jun 8 2
    • IBM nanii
      I'd rather be a rando in the Midwest than a somebody in India
      Jun 9
    • Microsoft UMbR31
      Sure. It's a personal choice.
      Jun 9
  • IBM nanii
    Depends on who you marry. If you marry someone who also makes $150, you're well on your way.
    Jun 8 0
  • F5 Networks dontalk2me
    Yes please
    Jun 8 0
  • Comcast G0ku
    Movnorth.com

    Canada is in “America” the continent. Don’t live in Toronto/Vancouver and you’ll easily afford the BMW 3 series and 6 bedroom house. Otherwise you’ll have to step up the TC/leetcode game significantly
    Jun 8 3
    • F5 Networks dontalk2me
      I’ve looked into it. Canadian payroll suck ass
      Jun 8
    • Comcast G0ku
      OP’s payroll sucks ass right here in Seattle. In a small Canadian town, and without excess healthcare expense, atleast the TC wil go farther
      Jun 8
    • IBM nanii
      ^ small Canadian towns are boring tho
      Jun 9
  • Navy Federal Credit Union / Eng danda
    Your dream is shallow and materialistic. You don’t deserve it. Give up and go back to India.
    Jun 8 0
  • New / Eng blindor
    It’s all up to you to make it happen. It’ll depend on your will and drive, no matter what advice you get.
    Jun 8 0
  • Northrop Grumman HowCouldYu
    Gunna be honest w you since most of the things on your list are what I’m seeking as well:

    Give up.

    I only say that because you will have to settle in many aspects you listed because your TC just simply isn’t large enough. With respects to your age/salary you will have to forgo many things. Just my opinion. I’m not being pessimistic, just realistic. If you become a successful CEO then yes all the things you listed are doable. Working for someone else however: will not happen until maybe you’re 60.

    Source: I’m in the same boat w/ less TC.

    Good luck
    Jun 8 4
    • Finale Inventory / Eng huHG50
      Also nothing wrong with not getting everything you dream about. 150k is a lot more than a majority of Americans make. I may have big dreams too that are unlikely to come true but even my 106k salary is still a lot of money. Making a six figure income is a dream for a lot of people in America.
      Jun 8
    • Amazon RubOnRails
      American dreams are unfortunately not what majority of Americans can afford. Isn’t it sad
      Jun 8
    • Northrop Grumman HowCouldYu
      Its sad for sure
      Jun 8
    • IBM nanii
      It wouldn't be a dream if any ole Billy from Hicksville can get it with a GED.
      Jun 9
  • Google verysundar
    Well, you have completed 1.
    2. Not many reach this stage regardless of where they were born.
    3. For this, well you know what to do, nothing to do with America.
    4. Well, this one is real, but you can surely reach there in around 10 years with some planning.
    5. Premium luxury, you can buy decent enough car - model 3. Well for lambo and Ferraris, all of us need to work hard.
    6. What do you mean by big? 6 months each. Well no. But you can definitely do couple of weeks twice.
    7. There are ways to do without spending tons of money.
    8. Start now and save each month, invest well. By 60 you should have enough balance.

    TC: more than a lot of people.

    I don't have a problem with your dream, but the your dream is based on the shitty Bollywood movies that you have seen growing up. World is much different and complex than those movies. I would just say reevaluate your dreams to understand how many of them are what you really want and discard those that are just there because you feel it's cool.

    All the best. One day we will all make it.
    Jun 8 1
    • New lUqA41
      OP
      thank you :)
      Jun 8
  • Microsoft idknbd
    Your dream is stupid
    Jun 8 0
  • Atlassian d@t_person
    Stay single and no kids and knock the house to a 2 bedroom condo and u are there!!!!
    Jun 8 2
    • New $€£
      Would be way better to have a spouse with similar TC instead of being single. Then that condo can be a house instead, plus the companionship would be priceless.
      Jun 8
    • IBM dwt
      “Companionship”... clearly you haven’t been married for very long.
      Jun 8
  • VMware / Eng op1
    I knew you were an Indian the moment you mentioned the motorcycle. :-)
    Jokes aside you can definitely live your dream.
    Jun 8 2
    • New / Eng n o s q l
      What's so special about motorcycles? Is there some sort of meme?
      I thought about it and even got a license.
      Jun 8
    • New lUqA41
      OP
      if there's one thing that I miss from India, that's riding a motor bike everyday. I cant explain you in words how I feel when I'm riding it :)
      Jun 8
  • Google Gentrified
    Probably the only way to get all that you desire is via the startup route that becomes a unicorn. This option assumes you get on a faster visa track, especially if you can get on L1A or start your own firm and qualify for Entrepreneurs visa. Read this: https://www.fundera.com/blog/entrepreneur-visas
    Jun 8 0
  • Amazon RubOnRails
    1 kid and you need 6 bedrooms ?
    Jun 8 0
  • Oracle mickjogger
    American dream doesn't need America. It's a global economy. You can make it anywhere. Go and make it where feasible.
    Jun 8 0
  • IBM dwt
    There is no way you’ll do that on 150 a year.
    Jun 8 0
  • SpaceX uevh5
    Oh boy.... I have all of that (except a bike, cause I don't want one, and my house is a 3 bedroom one). You think I am happy? I feel like shit all the time.
    Jun 8 3
    • New lUqA41
      OP
      why ?
      Jun 8
    • New / Eng n o s q l
      You will know when you hit 50.
      Jun 8
    • New lUqA41
      OP
      how would you change things if u could go back in time (say, when u r 29) ?
      I could use some of your wisdom :)
      Jun 8
  • eBay / Eng
    mDBW53

    eBay Eng

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    NVIDIA
    mDBW53more
    Give up on #1. Retire at 55 after making a consistent TC of at least $300k for 30 years. Move out to the Midwest and accomplish the rest of your goals using your savings.
    Jun 8 1
    • Comcast G0ku
      Dude’s Indian on h1b. Going to probably get kicked out/self deport from frustration long before 55
      Jun 8
  • Snapchat eeXB43
    it is not impossible
    Jun 8 0
  • Amazon / Project
    SRjq74

    Amazon Project

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    Amazon
    SRjq74more
    you make 150k do what you can enjoy your life go out on weekend chill have fun mon-fri is the same story for your life. if that is your checklist then do what u can in that today vacations trips going to bars all this doesn’t need lot of money anyway.
    Jun 8 0