I'm in a weird situation where a gay friend of mine is getting set up in an arranged setup with a girl from India. To my moral confusion, the girl is just more than an acquaintance. Met her in a couple of gatherings and parties. I tried to convince my friend that this would end up badly but he is too afraid to come out for family reasons and societal judgements and want to work on a straight marriage. I could just give up and cut this out from my life but I feel like I should be doing something like convincing my friend. I asked him to discuss with the girl about this but he says that it's only going to be complicated. If in my place, what would you do? Btw, I'm straight and have no intention to explore.
Anonymously email the girl
This would be childish and not sure how seriously the girl would react to an anonymous email. If at all she tries to discuss with my friend, I will be the first suspect!
Actually if you don't want yourself to be known to be the person who revealed it, just mail her anonymously. Tell her you know me, but I want to stay anonymous for some reason. Tell her why you think this may hurt every one because an idiot couldn't man up and face his problems. The parents of the guy are clueless and they may still not care about her life even if they knew, but she deserves a reasonable life just like anyone.
Fuck your friend as he is being ass to other person and tell the girl
Yes, I feel the same but I feel like I'm getting involved in something I don't need to. His reasoning of saying that he can work it out even with a girl sounds unreasonable to me but there are scenarios of gay men working out straight marriages happily.
Yeah, people can work those situations. There is nothing wrong. But both parties should know the info. After you tell the girl he can still try to work it out. Otherwise it's outright cheating. Fucking grown ass men can't stand up for simple stuff but want the world to stand up for them.
Conundrum. On one hand is it your business. On the other hand should u stand by and watch a life or years of it destroyed.
I know a guy who was in this exact situation. They married and he loved her for several years but after 5-10 years divorced. He is now out and proud since his late 30’s, and much happier. I can’t comment for the other side of the family.
True, I believe he will grow up and not worry about a judgemental society far from where he lives in a few years and come out. Another person's life is involved and wasted in the meantime.
Do the right thing and tell the girl. You know its the right thing to do that's why you are struggling with your conscience. If you turn a blind eye, you will destroy two lives. One of your friend and other of the girl, not to mention if they decide to do something stupid like having kids in the future and then get divorced. Tell her, keep your conscience clear and sleep well at night.
For me too it’s clear that telling her is the right thing to do. My only holdup would be Is it my business. And I am willing to be easily persuaded otherwise.
This is my conscience too. But, I never liked a person involving in my personal matters - be it my friend in my relationships or my extended family giving suggestions to my family or things as such. Is this any different? Am I not deciding what's right for them?
I just feel really bad for the girl.. :(,
Tell the girl ASAP. This is a nobrainer. You friend is trying to ruin someone’s life. Do you really want that on your head?
I think you should not get involved. 1. Anyone who marries without even trying to kiss or make out or at least a long hug is taking a huge risk or just doesn't value physical intimacy so much. Yes it's an arranged marriage but she is in the United States and she needs to see if they hit it off herself. 2. It's possible your friend is bi. In which case there's no problem with making it work. Are you sure it's purely gay? 3. If he's sexually active with men and you know it then it's a different issue. 4. If you write a letter he can always deny it and say that you are the bad person. She'll believe him over you. And honestly, what is this situation that he's in the US and can't deny an arranged marriage? Something seems really off. BTW I'm Indian as well so I get arranged marriage.
1. She is in India and not in the US. I was told they have met once a couple of months ago back in India. 2. Yes, he says so himself. He is not effiminate or evident like it does sometimes with other men. 3. Don't know about how active he is. 4. True He is 'older' for a typical Indian arranged marriage - 32 and has a family which still thinks India has just got Independence.
1) is messed up. Bringing a woman on h4 when you can't be husband for her is absolutely nuts. I don't know what to do. I guess convince him to at least not do an Indian traditional arranged marriage.
"friend" 😂 dude just come out to her already
There are so many things wrong in this situation that needs a series of bold decisions to fix it up. A girl is walking into a marriage which is not gonna work. Guy not standing up for himself and try convincing his parents about his preference. Probably he tried and parents emotionally blackmailed pertaining to social pressure ( my son cannot be gay, the world would laugh at us).