Should I lie about not being a transwoman?
I’ve been searching for a new position for 6 months now. This is the first year I started openly identifying as a transwoman. People are more than happy to promote my posts looking for work but I rarely make it past a phone screen. I’m beginning to wonder if I should just pretend to be a cis male or change my name to something masculine. I have to support my partner so I’m willing to do anything it takes to stabilize my career. There is a substantial difference in the number of offers I received as a cis male. For context, I mostly work in machine learning / data science and generalize with fullstack and UI/UX. It’s easy enough to find suitable positions. But as the gap increases I’m becoming nervous that I’m damaging my career and being unrealistic about gender bias in tech. I don’t know what to do. I can pass as either but I need to be pragmatic.
Why would interviewers even know? Why is it even relevant? If you're not getting offers it's certainly not for the reason you're insinuating.
I have the same thoughts so I want to highlight your comments. If this isn’t the reason I’m still attempting to discern what it is.
Roblox— There’s kind of a sliding scale for how much a trans person “passes” for looking cisgendered. Some people could pick up on it. Others not. Interviews are biased and it influences the process.
Unfortunately... What is promoted in the corporate news is rarely how people feel. Just reading blind will give you a sense how misogynistic some men in power are behind closed doors. You can do A/B testing by sending resumes with different names and see for yourself. As a woman, you have to prove yourself. As a man, people are willing to hire you based on potential. Career wise, if you're willing to work harder for the same pay, significantly lower chance of being promoted to upper management, and constantly being questioned your abilities, then live your true self. Even diverse work cultures like Google have this problem. Data is especially this way (male dominated industry), with UI/UX being more egalitarian but tough competition. Are you in the bay area?
LA. Tried relocating to SF recently but nothings come through yet.
SF is more competitive than LA. If you care about efficiency and time, I would suggest you get in first as your male identity, then come out as your true self over time. Keep in mind upper management that make hiring decisions are mostly male in their 40s and beyond and they're not from this time. If you show value first, then people are more likely to be open to change.
It’s an issue because you make it an issue.
Always agree with antilay
Lol that must be why most upper management is white male! Explains it all. That's a broad and misinformed statement.
That’s not a fun situation to be in. You gotta do what you gotta do but I’d just say take it under careful consideration the potential mental health effects of going back into the closet. Best of luck though I hope you find something soon.
Yeah and its dishonest to integrity but the situation is putting pressure to me. Definitely don’t want to lie, but I have to live.
From a friend who transitioned: if you aren't 100% set on a new name, something androgynous (think Robin) can help a bit. Also, where are you based? If they ask outright, in California gender identity is a protected category and they can get in quite a bit of trouble. It should never come up during an interview.
LA. I’ve noticed some companies ask for gender on their applications. You don’t have to disclose but its there.
No, be yourself. You don't have to disclose to everyone on team if you are not comfortable. Companies don't discriminate based on your gender it's fucking people
I think that’s pretty naive to think there’s no bias in hiring whether intentional or not
Hmm how did you openly identify yourself during phone screen? They didnt ask me if I'm a man or woman
I don’t. But I do use a feminine voice which I’ve been trained to use. My name is different. That’s what I mean by open. I mostly pass, but who knows, maybe I don’t completely?
Hmm then I'd say do "lie" if it increases your chance. But not with your potential future teammates
Stop being so cranky grandma, and take your meds
Be yourself and focus on what they need. Focus on your skill, leadership and delivery of results. Hiring managers care about that most. If they get distracted by other things we bring up (identity, being a mom, anything personal) it takes their time away from assessing us on what they need. You’d never want to work for someone who doesn’t respect who you are. They don’t deserve you. Be who you are. There’s a tension there always. We are tech workers, moms, dads, church/temple goers, vegans/meat lovers, gun lovers/haters, etc. Hiring managers want us as workers.
Lol. I was thinking this LGBT movement was going to give people like you a huge advantage... Not yet it seems. But in the college admission world it definitely is.
People are definitely more encouraging and I get more “special attention” but it doesnt actually translate into comparable wages or active selection.